Today, tomorrow and the days after

I want to write and share my thoughts. I’ve felt stifled for a while. I’m not really sure why. So, I’ll just write a bit and hope to come back to it again. I always do eventually.

I started college again. One of these days I’ll have my degree. I’m 60% done with a summer course. It’s been about 8 years since the last time I took a class. I only have about 5 classes left to finish my degree. So, one class at a time. I’ll get there.

Mr. D and I are doing fine. I’m too busy and he’s dealing with a pain in the ass boss at work so the combo isn’t the best place our relationship has been. But we’re doing ok.

My son is in a bad place. Teenage years. Ugh. Enough said, this blog isn’t about that.

Nothing out of the ordinary to report on the sexual front. We have sex. I think we have good sex. I enjoy it. I just haven’t felt like it’s something to share. Not sure why. There has been play sessions and some hot sessions. Maybe it’s married sex, fun for us but really similar to many other times we’ve had sex. So, it’s not earth-shattering writing material. I think writing…passionate writing…takes gasping, spasming newness. That initial high of subspace, that crazy stupid insane shit you do when it’s all new and you’re high on each other, that kind of material.

I think I need to learn how to write the long-haul subtleties…the beauty of constancy. I miss writing. I miss my submission.

Good Morning

So, what to write while we’re living the Vanilla Life? I’ve been thinking about writing about lifestyle things like Sub vs Slave or What’s the Difference Between a Good 1950’s Wife and a Submissive?

I’m over this not-writing thing. I miss writing. I miss a lot but writing is essential to my being and I haven’t been doing it. I need the outlet. So, I’ll wing it until something good comes along. I’ve been keeping up with my no-porn masturbation.

I had the strangest fantasy the other night while masturbating. Mr. D ordered me to strip in front of some friends. This part had actually happened. That was the real life anchor. After that I strayed into fantasy as the girls in the scene tweaked and played with my nipples until I came for Daddy. I love, love, love nipple play. But with two women I am not attracted to? I guess it was a take back to a time Daddy made me feel intensely submissive. It also helped that there was some exhibition involved.

So, that’s it for now. A short bit sweet hello. Talk with you soon, I hope!

Grumpy needy horny

The problem with having a sex blog is you have nothing much to write when you aren’t having sex. 

I could write about the sex I want to have when I see Daddy again.  Okay, that’s a good idea. Or I could write some fiction.  Maybe. It would be a good exercise of my writing skills.  Though, lately I’ve read several erotic fiction stories that were eh.  I don’t want to write eh.  

The emotions Daddy inspires are visceral, it makes it easy to write about our time together.  That is the kind of writing I like, when it comes out of me in one big rush of heat and steam. 

So, at the moment I’m dealing with some parenting issues, decorating for Christmas and thinking about painting.  We’ll see how the writing works out.  

Stay tuned.

Starting Again

There’s a saying that goes something like this…never stop starting.  Another is never quit quitting.  We can also go with fake it til you make it.  Regardless which saccharin saying you choose the intention is the same.  Here I am again after a two week hiatus from writing starting again.

When I get stressed I drop all the extra things, all the fun things and tend to come down to a very tunnel vision view of my life.  Do the necessary, do the mandatory but throw off all the extra things.  I know it’s a coping mechanism.  It still sucks. 

Daddy left for Texas again today.  He’ll be there a week and when he returns he arrives with movers.  They will take all his things and some of mine.  There has been lots of talk and planning, lots of worry and stress.  Now we begin the action of it all.  

I’m not promising great waterfalls of words after the drought.  I know writing should be viewed as cathartic and I should use it as a way to vent all the stress but I’m a realist.  I know me.  I stress out, I dive into my cave until the coast is clear. I’m fighting that urge right now.  Tell them the good stuff, ignore the worry and strife. Well, that’s crap and it’s not honest.  If I can’t write the hard truth then I still have a shit ton of work to do in recovery because that’s the way we did it in alcoholic relationships.  Tell everyone life is peachy even when your coaster is about to jump the rails. 

So, that’s where I’m at today.  All is fine on the surface.  All is rumbling with a layer of angst under the shiny surface.  I get up and handle each day.  Most of the time my pragmatic self is in charge and we’re a go.  Once in a while I lose it and cry in the car at a stoplight.  But then the light changes and I shake it off.  

Time to go to work.  Love to my kink family reading this, you know who you are.  Thanks for all the talks and love.  That includes you too Daddy. ❤️

Elust #83

My post Power On is in Elust #83.  Check it out and read all the other amazing posts from other sex bloggers from around the net!

Elust 82 Header Holden and Camille
Photo courtesy of Holden and Camille

Welcome to Elust #83

The only place where the smartest and hottest sex bloggers are featured under one roof every month. Whether you’re looking for sex journalism, erotic writing, relationship advice or kinky discussions it’ll be here at Elust. Want to be included in Elust #84 Start with the rules, come back July 1st to submit something and subscribe to the RSS feed for updates!


~ This Month’s Top Three Posts ~

London Crows and London Kisses

I am Her. She is Me.

You Say You Want to Cook for Me


~ Featured Post (Molly’s Picks) ~

Unusual Liaison

Community. Respect. Friendship. Fucking.

~Readers Choice from Sexbytes ~

Dirty Little Secrets

*You really should consider adding your popular posts here too*
All blogs that have a submission in this edition must re-post this digest from tip-to-toe on their blogs within 7 days. Re-posting the photo is optional and the use of the “read more…” tag is allowable after this point. Thank you, and enjoy!



You Know

Thoughts & Advice on Sex & Relationships

My Bed
Secular Submission
My therapy
from “hard limit” to “want”
We Measure the Nostalgia
The Cure and The Cause


Smut in the 6ix – Porn Conference & Gala

Erotic Fiction

Typing Errors
La Belle Dame
Sex and chocolate
The Imprisoned of HIM-HER-THEM
The Gift
Becca’s Story
Rope and Fixtures
As salty as his cum…
Dominating the Doctor

Erotic Non-Fiction

Teen Sex in Woolly Tights with 60s Beat Music
Dear Sadist: Your Cruelty Is Your Love
A male dom, the straight girl and the bi girl
Owned, Leashed, & Beaten
Jan 2015 Owned & Collared by Mistress Claire
Rinse The Days Filth Away
Power On
Keeping tally

Sex News, Opinion, Interviews, Politics & Humor

Formative Kink Epic Fail: “Buck Rogers”

Thoughts & Advice on Kink & Fetish

If it was easy anyone could do it
What’s a service submissive?
Prescient Words

Writing About Writing

What if aspirational meant something else?


ELust Site Badge

Best Sex Bloggers of 2015 Nominations

I love reading Best Of lists.  They give you great leads for finding some amazing bloggers and writers.

Rori at Between My Sheets has a fabulous annual Best Sex Bloggers contest each year.  You can check out the ongoing nominations or vote for your favorites here:

I thought I’d post about it and share my nominations for this year. I want to support some of the amazing writers I’ve met during the past year on WordPress.

First is Besos de Cuero.  What an incredible storyteller.  I’m posting a link to the first chapter of her Slave Tales, The Hunt.  Once you start reading it you won’t be able to help yourself.

The Woman Invisible is a very deep well of womanhood and sexual exploration.  She tells all about her affairs and exploits in a land of questionable men in the post-divorce dating arena.  I admire her for her strength and her constant pursuit of great sex and illusory love.

Tall, Dark and Dominant is a very sensual read.  He is very knowledgable of the lifestyle and gives well received guidance but it’s his downright hot and steamy writing that keeps me coming back.

Married Submissive writes about how she and her husband have grown and braved the change of their relationship from a vanilla marriage to a Dominant/submissive dynamic.  I appreciate being allowed to walk a little in her shoes.

Dark Gem Dom is a very real Dom who is open and honest about all his layers of personality.  I enjoy his very masculine way of exposing the dark side for us to see.

I have many more I would nominate but I have to admit to having very little reading time of late so I will stop here. The main point is to get out there and enjoy all the amazing writers we have here that help cheer us along on our own sexual journeys.


Because I haven’t written in a while, I have a backlog of thoughts and memories jumbled in my mind. Daddy and I played many times during the last two weeks I just didn’t document it.  So, my mind is full and I need to purge onto the page.  It is a very odd sensation but it is as if all that’s happened stays in a holding tank until I write.  

I keep it all in mind and it begins to morph into an alphabet soup.  I start becoming worried that I have forgotten everything.  But I do my best to set aside the fear and begin.  I pull one thread and slowly it unravels.  Soon I have words for you and a nice neat ball of string.

I worried about forgetting this past week while I still wasn’t writing.  Last night I finally wrote and only about last night.  Fresh memories…so easy, so present.  Now I feel the tugging of the string because an end was found.


I’m writing to write.  I feel a little unsettled and it is stopping the flow of my writing.  I know there’s a bunch to write…stuff to think and do and relate to you.  It’s just stuck behind a wall.  So, I figured I’d knock out a little hole and hopefully it will break open the dam and allow a flood of words to follow.

I’ve been thinking this week about life stressors and how the non D/s parts of life affect the D/s dynamic.  Most of the time, I feel like D/s is an escape from the day-to-day aspects of my life.  But what happens when those day-to-day things bring on enough stress to tip the balance and dampen the mood?

The last time I was with Mr. D is a good example.  I had a dozen things on my mind.  It was mid-week and we both had a lot of work and life on our minds.  We both shared our days and what we were dealing with.  It is so reassuring to have him there to listen and talk through life concerns.  On our mid-week night together we only have a narrow window of time between when I arrive and when Mr. D needs to be asleep.  Usually, I shower and prep myself at home before I leave and use the drive time to get my mind switched over into sub-mode so that I’m open and receptive to whatever Mr. D wants or commands of me.  On this night, I had a late meeting and hadn’t done that.  My mind was still in day-mode.

After we talked, we snuggled up in bed and began to let the day go.  I didn’t even have my thought focused enough to wonder if Mr. D wanted sex.  I was still mulling over mundane things with the damned committee in my mind.  Soon after I put my head down on Mr. D’s chest he grabbed my hair at the back of my neck and I was surprised by the sudden heat coming off of him.  I was blindsided by his lead.  Not because I didn’t want it, I did, but I wasn’t in the right mindset yet.  His grip helped a great deal to refocus me in that moment and switch gears.

I was able to put away the day right then because his desire crushed the committee into the backseat.  Still, I felt the hesitation in my body while we played.  The mind is really and truly in charge of passion.  It needs to be fully on board or the body is going to have trouble following.

I have the luxury of someone to lead and command my attention.  How do I, as the submissive, give the same level of support to my Dominant if it’s needed?  It’s not an out-of-the-ordinary problem.  Everyone finds themselves stressed and unfocused at times.  As a submissive, how am I to help in that circumstance without it being a case of topping from the bottom?  I can be supportive but is that about the extent of it?  I don’t know.


Sexy Reader Poll

8471158384_5331617d4a_oI’m having fun learning about the different options on the WordPress site.  I learned how to post a poll. Check it out and take the poll if you like!  I thought it would be fun to ask you what types of blog posts you like to read.

You can vote as many times as you like but you can only vote for one choice at a time.



Image used with under CC 2.0 license and found here by Frank Kovalchek.