Here and Gone

Well, Mr. D’s mom was here and just as quickly she is back home. I thought it was a nice visit. She and I got to know each other a bit. I liked her very much and I think she liked me as well.

Interestingly, his mom looks very like mine had looked. They are quite similar in facial features and build. My Dad remarked on it.

So, nothing fun or on blog topic to report. Though we did finally have sex last night. Daddy was sure I was dying of a cough but I must have convinced him sex would help clear my lungs, lol. Anyway, it was short but needed. I savored every second.

He didn’t much buy my comment that daily sex would cure me, but one can always try. Right? šŸ˜‰

High and Lows

I've noticed I go through highs and lows. Maybe it's hormones maybe I just miss Daddy. I don't know what it is. I just notice the cycle.

Right now is the low. I feel it cover me like a cloying blanket. I drag myself out of bed, drag myself to work, then I work like a fiend because I let work dominate my soul like that while I'm there.

Afterwards, I drag home and sit on the couch. Tonight, I have no child to care for so it's either easier or harder, I haven't decided. Easier, because when he's here I must care for him. Harder, because he distracts me with his teen all consuming everything, which is helpful.

Blah blah blah. No one wants to hear this. I don't even want to write it. I think it's only valuable as a journal-writing exercise that will hopefully vent the pent up steam. Masturbating every damned night ain't doin' it.

TrepidationĀ 

  

Do you ever wake up with the feeling that something is wrong?  I woke up feeling that way. My go to reaction is self blame.  My list of things to do today is not insurmountable, everything on the surface looks fine, but still I feel a heaviness.  

Rather than walk around like I’m beaten before I begin, I need to get off my ass and attack this day.  I’ve been strong in my life but not always proactive.  I’m a hard ass worker but not always in a smart, directed way.  Time for change. 

I’ve been letting the tail wag the dog too much.  Time to get off my ass and make change happen the way I want it.
Image from Pixabay through CC0 Public Domain