Punishment

The minute I woke up I knew I had failed him.  I felt awful that I had not completed my homework.  On top of knowing I had failed to obey him, I had an extra dirty layer of guilt because I hadn’t wanted to obey in the first place. 

When he texted me, I knew I would have to report my failure. “How was your homework last night?” He asked.

“I fell asleep before I was able to complete it Daddy, I’m so sorry.”

“Well, we’ll talk about that when I see you tomorrow night lover. Have a great day.” He texted.

Ooo, now that was ominous. A few minutes later he asked, “What time was it before everyone left?”

I answered, then he asked, “And when did the boy finally settle down and go to sleep?”  I answered again.

“Ok, thank you darlin.” He was killing me with his calm methodical questions.  His analytical mind needed data so Master could decide if and what punishment would be a reciprocal response. 

I was flying to be with him the next day.  I didn’t have long to wait to see what the verdict was but it was going to be an interminable wait nonetheless.

I wondered about the punishment.  I  knew I deserved to be punished.  I knew Daddy was weighing the options.  I knew he could let me off because I was tired and he knew it.  I knew he could make it play punishment and we could have fun playing the roles.  I also knew he’d want to be lenient because we’re in this weird limbo because we’re living four states apart right now. 

Secretly, I didn’t want any of those options.  I hadn’t planned this but now that punishment was on the table, I wanted to be truly punished. As a submissive walking the line into slavehood, I want more than anything to feel his power.  I want to feel the yoke on my neck and know I’m being led by a strong hand. 

He picked me up from the airport on Friday and I was giddy to see him and touch him.  Finally, I had my Love in reach again.  He fulfills me.  Me makes my heart whole. Along with my joy was expectation.  What would happen?  He knew it and I knew it. 

We got to the apartment and he sent me to the kitchen for drinks.  He followed. “Arms on the counter in front of you.” Oh god, already? I giggled nervously and bent over the counter, ass out.  I was in a lacey blue dress for him. He threw up the skirt exposing my ass.  His hand caressed my cheeks then he ever so lightly tapped on each cheek with the palm of his hand pulling my skirt back down afterwards.

“You may finish getting the drinks.” He went about putting things away giving me a little smirk in the process. He knew I was waiting and wondering.  He was toying with me. 

(To be continued…)

Chagrined

Daddy and I were talking and teasing in text.  We hadn’t seen each other for many days and both wanted the other rather desperately. 

As we were sharing our need of each other in text, my son was talking to me and at one point my brother was also talking to me.  Actually, my brother and son were yammering at each other and I was trying to keep my thoughts focused on what Daddy was telling me in text.

Daddy told me that he’d written for me.  I was to wear the butt plug and masturbate for him before I was allowed to read it.  If I did that then before I came, I could read his words and come to them. With all the boy/men noise in the house at that moment I barely got the message.  In jest, I texted Daddy back that I’d be pleased to do his ‘chores’ as he’d asked.  Ha ha,  I thought, he’ll think his little subbie was being playful and cute calling masturbation a chore.

Well, he most definitely did not think it cute.  The next text stated that whether I thought it a chore or not I’d better be prepared to do it and do it well.  He was not happy to hear that his allowing me to come for him was thought of as a chore. He told me that he expected me to arrive at his home the next night dressed to kill and ready to please.

I felt my heart drop down to my knees at that message.  What the hell was I thinking? What had I said? I had to go back up and read it.  The boys were still arguing so I took myself into the bathroom to get some quiet. Oh god, what have I done now? I thought. 

I apologized immediately but Daddy was none to pleased. He said I was his slave and his slut and he would enjoy me in all my roles when I arrived the next day.  I was beyond mortified.  He said some lovely things in text but I was still reeling from my own behavior and could barely get out of my head to read his loving words.

The next day was crazy busy. I was late getting dressed but I dressed to the nines as commanded. A tight black and white skirt that left nothing to the imagination, a low cut white blouse with black and white four inch heels to complete the look. He had specified no panties so there were none.  I drove to his place and prepared for his wrath and punishment.

I got a couple texts of Daddy checking in on me towards the evening.  They were soft and loving in tone.  I wondered if he felt bad for being strict but was too wrapped up in my anxiety to calm down.  I told myself to put on a smile.  Being dressed to kill was for him and wearing a sad pouty face just wouldn’t be serving Daddy.

When I arrived Daddy was sitting in his chair and there was a huge present on the bed.  He smiled at me and made me do pirouettes for him to see all my outfit.  He loved it.  Then he broke into a smile and finally outright laughing.  I looked at him askance.

“You want to be suuuch a bad girl but you’re not.  We talk and then I call you on your bad girl ways and you freeze up and start apologizing immediately. My good little bad girl.” He chuckled some more.  I began to smile.  He pegged me and I wasn’t really in trouble. The anxiety started to go away. 

He had me strip but leave the stilettos on. He sat on the bed and had me sit down on his cock. With my hands on his big chair to brace myself, I fucked him in that position.  Even with the stilettos on it works really well.  All I have to do is sit on his cock and ride him up and down.  Very nice.

He put the Hitachi on me and went down on me with such intensity.  I know he wanted to force an orgasm from me but I couldn’t get out of my head, out of the anxiety I had carried all day worried about him. He stopped everything and made me talk to him.  After a very long week, I needed time to reconnect with him.  I just couldn’t get into play that fast that night.

He gave me my birthday present.  It is a beautiful traveler’s easel and brushes. He said I write for him, I take care of him and everybody else, he wanted me to have something I will do for me.  He wants me to have time to think and paint. I love him so much.  He makes my heart swell and tears flow.  I wish I was in his arms right now.

The odd thing about this whole evening or about me, I guess, is that I hate that feeling of being in trouble but I love being put in that place of submission so harshly.  I ached for him to punish me and take out his frustrations upon my skin and psyche. I have wanted him to find that dark place again and unleash it.  That dynamic is what sends me to subspace after all. 

The problem was I felt so vulnerable in having displeased him that I think I worried him.  Daddys like to take care of their girls and he did what he thought was better for me then.  Daddy is always right. 

I did not like that I felt off.  I did not put myself in a proper headspace for play.  Jittery is not a good place to submit from.   I dressed for him but I did not prepare enough mentally for him.  I need to stop and breathe.  I need to be in the right place mentally for him and I wasn’t.  Lessons come all the time, I just need to pay attention.

Fun and Games

Yesterday I went to my Ex’s birthday party. It was a really big step for him to invite me to anything so I went happily even though Mr. D wasn’t invited.  My Ex has come a long way but not quite as far as inviting my new Honey to his party.  Oh well, I took it as a good sign and so did my son who was thrilled.

I had a great time at the party. I was able to visit with family members and high school friends I hadn’t seen in years. During the party I checked my phone at one point and had 4 texts from Daddy.  Whoops, I hadn’t had my phone on me to hear them.   He sent me several provocative graphics with sayings on them relating to us.  I felt warm and turned on from them.  I texted him and went back to the party.  After a while, the party was slowing down.  I did flirt with one old high school friend and it was a lot of fun.  I checked my phone and Daddy had left a message that he couldn’t help it, he was jealous and my Ex didn’t deserve me coming to his party.  I felt his ire coming through the phone from those many miles away so I said my goodbyes and texted Daddy that I was on my way.

When I arrived home I heard Daddy’s voice as I came through the door. It surprised me that he was still awake, he usually goes to bed early.  But here he was, “That’s one sexy bitch comin’ through the door.” He and his roomie were sitting in the living room. “I’m drunk!” He says, as I sit down and give him a kiss.  Now I understand the jealous text.  It had sounded just a little more blatantly honest than normal.

We chitchatted a little, I told him about a high school friend I saw during the evening that I had the hots for. It was fun to tell Daddy about it. I share everything with him.  

“You can go to your Ex’s party, you can flirt with other men, but I will always be the one behind your walls, the only one who got in.” 

I was snuggled against him and looked up to him when he said that.  “Yes Daddy, you are the only one.”

We went to the bedroom.  He was in quite a teasing mood.  I hadn’t had a drink all night but I had one as soon as I got home seeing the state Daddy was in.  When we starting fucking I could tell he was pretty tipsy.  He said he wanted to fuck my face but he wasn’t sure because he was slightly drunk.  BDSM is not something you should ever do drunk and Daddy is very aware of that.  I said I wanted to anyway.  He said, “I’m nervous about this because I’ve been drinking.  You will push me away if it gets to be too much for you, understand?” I nodded.  I had no reservations.  Even drunk, Daddy is very careful.

I hung my head over the side of the bed and Daddy mounted my face. His cock forced into my mouth and I closed my eyes to dive into the feelings full force.  His cock fucked my mouth deeply and oh so well.  I had been out dancing and fortunately my sinuses were completely clear.  I love it when I’m in a good place breath-wise.  Even if Daddy was slightly impaired I knew I was in a much better place with my oxygen intact.  He fucked my face and I took it all.  He was so deep into my throat.  Mmm, so very nice.

After that, Daddy made me lie down on the bed and he began to fuck me. Actually, he began to fuck with me.  He loves teasing the heck out of me.  He kept putting it in but not all the way.  He was fucking me with just the tip.  The more he did it the more I was getting annoyed.  I knew damned well what he was doing.  He was too tipsy to hide it.  He was just fucking with me for the hell of it.

“What’s wrong baby? Don’t you like it?” He slurred.

“Nothing, I love it.” He was not winning this.

“You like it?”

“I love it Daddy.” I was getting so fed up with the teasing. I just wanted him to fuck me already.  I had been without him all evening, flirting with other men and now I was dying to get fucked hard.  He knew it and was being his most exasperating self just to fuck with me.

He slid the tip in and out. He slid himself around the outside of my pussy giving me constant contact but no leverage, no power.  He’s drunk, I thought. Just leave it.  Let him fuck with you and don’t make a fuss.  But no, he kept taunting me.

“What’s wrong baby, don’t you like it?” Ugh, I was going to throttle him soon if he didn’t fuck me silly.

Finally, I had had enough. “Fucker!!!” I yelled at him. I didn’t care what he thought or did at that point; he was getting exactly what I was thinking.  Collar be damned.

“Oh ho, I’m a fucker, am I?” I was beyond caring, I laughed.

“Yes, you are!” Damn it, he had pushed me too far. He pulled out and stopped fucking me entirely.  Crap, I had done it now.  He moved down my body and his mouth landed on my pussy.

“I’m a fucker, am I? Well, we’ll just see who’s the fucker.” His lips made contact with my clit and he sucked hard. I convulsed from the intensity of the suction on my already swollen clit.  He kept up the onslaught of his tongue on my clit for a long time.

“What am I?” He was goading me.

“You’re a fucker.” But the heat had gone from me now. I had used everything I had to wind up to calling him that the first time.

“Not good enough! You can do better than that.” He mouth latched onto my clit again with even more power. God, I was beyond any control at that point.

“Fucker!” I yelled at him again.

“Come on, that’s not going to do it. I’m not fucking you until you say it again like the first time.” He was so infuriating. I gave up.  There was just no way I could repeat the heat and passion behind the first expletive I let out.  He kept at my clit and my pussy for a long time after that but the heat had gone out of me by then.  He kept me on the brink of orgasm for a long time.

“You win, I give up!” He took himself out of my crotch and lay down to go to sleep. I couldn’t believe he gave up.  He never lets me win.  But he did then.  Not that I wanted to win like that at all. There was no way I was reliving the intensity of the first outburst again.

After a good laugh, we went to bed. For the rest of the weekend, that’s been a predominant part of conversation.

“How are you doing baby girl? Fucker!”

Banter

Why banter?  Well, I was looking for a word.  One that would describe how Daddy and I were talking with each other last night.  He wanted me to suck his cock.  He had mentioned it while we were watching a movie.  Afterwards, we were snuggling on the bed and I had my hand on his cock.  Stroking it.  Feeling it grow from softness to hardness in my hand.  I love feeling it grow. He was teasing me.  I must ask for permission to suck his cock. For some reason, I resist having to ask.  Last night, it was intentional resistance.  I wanted to push him.  I felt a little bratty.  I try to resist the desire to be outright bratty but sometimes I do like to play with him.  I test the waters, so to speak.  Recently, I’ve wondered about disobedience and if that can be an intensity builder.  But, I digress.

“What are you doing there baby girl?”  I had been caressing him and I purposefully put my hand on his cock.

“I’m touching your cock Daddy.”

“No baby girl, that is your cock.” We’ve been going back and forth with pronouns lately.  He owns all my parts, they belong to him, they are his ass and his pussy, etc.  So, his cock being mine is reciprocal.  Except that it just continually trips up my language to his utter entertainment.

“Yes, Daddy.  My cock.”  My hand swirled around the shaft, feeling it grow and thicken.

“What do you want to do with your cock?  Well, he damned well knew I wanted to suck it but I was contemplating how much of an annoyance I wanted to be at that moment.

“Well, I want to do several things to it Daddy.”

He placed a thumb under my chin to force me to look up at him.  His lips met mine.  Then his index finger caressed the top of my tongue.  He takes possession of my mouth this way and suddenly he has my undivided attention.  His finger went all the way down my throat and hooked onto the back of my tongue making me wince and cough.  I was trapped.  His lips kissed my cheek near my ear.

“You will get up, take off your clothes and get on top of me.  Do you understand?” I nodded.  So much for my silly games.  He changed direction completely. I got up off the bed and stripped off my clothes.  Naked, I returned to the bed and knelt near his waist.  I threw a leg over him and as I was mounting him, he got out the Hitachi vibrator.  I have such a love hate relationship with that piece of equipment.  He brings me to orgasm with it so I love it but I have no control over it and I don’t always feel prepared for the level of intensity it provides. I know he loves it for just the same reasons I hate it.

He put the wand in between our bodies so the head was right on my clit and turned it on.  Then he said, “Move.” I had already put his cock up inside me so now I began to move on top of him.  Slowly I found a rhythm and began to fuck his cock.  The sensation of the vibrator on me while I worked his cock in and out was amazing.  I knew what he wanted.  He wanted me to orgasm for him.  I did not feel the tightening in my gut that I usually feel when an orgasm is coming.  He kept me on top of him, fucking him and at some point he turned the speed up on the vibrator.  That insane level of vibration should just push me right over the edge but it wasn’t.  Something must have shown on my face because he pulled me to him.

“Stop stressing.  Stop chasing the orgasm.  Don’t stress.  Hear me?” I nodded and realized then that I was wound really tight trying to give him what he wanted.  I don’t know why that happens.  Sometimes, things are just slightly off for me and if I don’t feel my body perform for him then I start to get stressed.  I’ve never faked it, I never saw the point.  Plus, I’m a horrible actress.  Daddy specifically told me never to fake it with him so I never would.  He has chosen to help me with this so I try my best not to let any of it get me twisted.  But I guess, right then, I had.

“Get down baby girl.” He turned me over on my side and I slipped off him.  He pointed to the bed.  “Face down in the middle of the bed.”  I obeyed.  The next thing I felt was the big flogger making contact with my ass cheeks.  It was heavy and I felt my ass cheeks bounce up as the impact ran across my flesh.  He landed a couple strikes on one cheek and then the other.  I squirmed as the falls connected with my skin.  I had not expected a flogging.  The falls struck my lower back and then my ass again.  He draped the flogger across my back.  The weight of it pinned me down while I felt his face push into my ass.  Then his tongue thrust into my asshole with a warm wetness that was in such contrast to the hard hits of the flogger.  I moaned out in pure pleasure.  It was amazing and decadent.  I love when he does that.

After the sweet torture of multiple rounds of flogger vs. tongue, he told me to lie flat and lift my ass in the air.  From this angle, he put his legs on either side of mine and mounted me.  His cock pushed in between my closed legs and into my tightly held pussy.  In this position, his legs force mine closed and he braces himself by putting his hands on my shoulders.  With his body pressing mine into the bed, I am trapped and in for a ride.  His hands hold me down and he fucks me while I’m under his weight.

At some point, we flipped to me on my side. He loves this position because it gives him access to my ass. The last time we were together, he had wanted to have anal sex and I begged out of it.  It was our mid-week night together and I was having a bad work week.  I just couldn’t get my head off the day and relaxed.  So, now, he teased my ass again with that still hanging in the air.

“Girl, you will be giving me your ass soon.  Not tonight but very soon.”

“Yes Daddy.  I will…I want to.” With him being so girthy, it takes time and it takes me being in a good mental place to do it.  I love giving him that.  I love that I’m the only person who has.  And, I really love anal sex.  It does something to me.  It brings out the visceral, the animal.  I make the oddest animal noises when he plays with my ass or fucks me there.  It’s very, very intense for me.

He bent my leg up and entered me from behind.  As he did that I could feel drops of lube on my asshole.  I knew what came next.  His finger pushed inside my ass.  I gripped the bed sheets with my hands.  Initially, it is always uncomfortable but soon the pleasure outpaces that.  I moaned.  I cried out.  He pushed his finger into me again.

His cock pushed in again then his finger repeated the stroke in my backside.  I was moaning consistently now.  I simply can’t control it.  He was talking to me. “Girl you are in my head.  You have been from the very beginning.”

I know I was talking to him.  He winds me up and then I’m in some trance and I beg him, I talk to him in some trance-like state. “Yes Daddy, fuck me.  God, yes, please.  My ass is yours.  Take it.  Take my ass.  You will have it.  I’m yours.” I don’t know what more I say or how.  Maybe he can understand or maybe not.  I have no idea.  I’m twisting for him by then.  At some point, I hear him yell and I feel his body shaking as he orgasms.  God, I love that.