Choosing a Collar

  I arrived at Mr. D’s home on a Friday night for the weekend. I try to dress for him every time but sometimes I’m tired from the week and today was such a day. I was showered and shaven at least, so I had made an effort but I was dressed in slouchy clothes and flip flops. Some days by the time evening arrives all my energy is gone. I could barely pack a bag with clothes. I was going to an event on Sunday without Mr. D. I figured I could go home and grab clothes then if needed for Valentine’s Day. He had indicated that we would stay home and relax, so I wasn’t worried.

I greeted him and curled up next to him on the couch. “We will be going out tonight baby girl.” Murphy’s Law in full force, I was in leggings and a t-shirt. “When I tell you to, you will go into the bedroom and dress as I tell you to dress.” This was different. Where were we going? “We’ll have dinner and then you’ll dress. We’ll leave in 45 minutes and it’s an hour drive to get there.” Now I was really intrigued. What could we be doing and where could we go on a Friday night after 8pm? I was mulling this over in my mind. I had no decent shoes here! I was so unprepared.

“What are you thinking baby girl?”

“Well, what are we doing and I don’t have any decent shoes to wear for you.” I said. He thought for a minute.

“You’ll wear your red zipper dress for me and if you don’t have any shoes then you’ll just wear your flip flops. Don’t even think about wearing the red shoes.” I blushed. Damn, he knew me well. The red shoes are glossy, red, four inch stiletto, platform heels. I can barely walk in them. He usually has me crawl if I wear them for him.

We got in the car and he had worn flip flops as well so I didn’t feel out of place. I am always surprised and touched at how he takes me into consideration with everything he does. I’m more familiar with being the one who takes care of others.

He asked me, “So, where do you think we’re going?”

“A dungeon?” That’s the only place we’ve driven to that far away and in the late evening. I thought it was a good possibility.

“No, it’s not a dungeon.” I was stumped. “Tonight your life will change permanently.” I looked at him. What did that mean? I was at a complete loss. I trusted him and he was being mysterious so I thought, okay I’ll just hang on and he’ll tell me when he’s ready. I wondered but I didn’t have any sense of trepidation at all.

He waited a couple minutes like he was mulling it over in his mind. Quietly, he said “Tonight we’re going to get your collar.”

I looked over to him and my heart raced. I know he’d mentioned collaring me in the heat of the moment not too long ago but otherwise we hadn’t talked about it at all for a long time.

“When I mentioned it the other night, I thought maybe you hadn’t noticed but you did. You definitely caught it.” He said. I remembered then that I’d written about it. I had most definitely caught it. When you hear something that makes their heart pound and your breathing struggle to keep pace…yes, I not only heard but felt those words even though they were in the heat of the moment.

“We’re going to a sex shop that I found that carries them. That’s where we’re going.” So, we continued on our way. My face was flushed but my heart full. Then I was nervous. What happens next?

“What are you thinking baby girl?” Oh! He always asks that right when I’m thinking about some half-formed fear. I don’t always want to answer but I usually do.

“I was wondering what comes next.” He reassured me.  Eventually, we realized we had driven far past our destination, so we had to back track and our conversation switched to the very immediate need of finding our way.

We finally arrived at the shop and when we walked in were greeted mb a gorgeous girl with caramel colored skin and a man who Daddy said was definitely gay. The girl’s name was Wicked…how fitting for a sex shop. The collars were right behind them so Daddy ushered me to the case and tried several collars on me. It felt so surreal and yet comfortable at the same time. 

Only in a sex shop does no one bat an eye watching a man putting many different collars on a woman. He asked which ones I thought might work and I picked up a thick, black, leather collar with a red leather fringe. He tried it on me and it fit very well. “Nice choice baby girl. We’ll take this one.” I was a little worried about the height of it at 2-3 inches tall, almost a posture collar but not quite as severe.

As we were walking about the shop he asked me if I was happy with our choice. “I am, I’m a little worried about the thickness of it. I’m not sure if you can do everything you want to with me in it.”

“We’ll figure that out as we go,” he said, “if it’s doesn’t work we’ll get you another one.” His easy practicality assured me. 

Afterwards we spent time in the shop looking at all the other fun, weird and kinky things they had. Daddy purchased two extensions for the Hitachi there as well. They have protrusions on them so that the vibrations can extend inside me in different ways depending on the attachment. 

We wrapped up our visit and went home. 

Photo courtesy of Picabay through Public Domain

Understanding Orgasms

It is very likely I had an orgasm with Mr. D a couple days ago. Is it bad that I don’t know for sure? Is that possible? I think it is. When I’m with him the things he does and the way he makes me feel are incredibly intense. Let me see if I can explain properly. To begin with, when I masturbate, it is a slow process of warming up from a state of being cold, so to speak. It is usually late, I’ve had a long day and I want a release before I go to bed. I put on a porn video, or these days I close my eyes and think of certain scenarios with Daddy. I think of him showing me off, using me in ways we don’t do yet, or dominating me. I end up with him commanding me to cum. I think of his voice in my head and I work my clit with one finger while rolling a nipple with my other hand. The sensation is very pointed and direct. There are no other stimuli or distractions. The pleasure builds slowly and I can feel it deepen over the period of time. Finally, near the end, I feel the tensing and tightening of the muscles and the orgasm approaches. I keep the same pace, I increase Daddy’s voice in my head and then finally I feel myself peak over the edge. I’ve timed myself and this process takes about 8-10 minutes if I’m watching porn or 15-18 minutes if I rely on my own mind.

So, I think it’s fair to say that cumming is not a fast thing for me. It takes time to build the tension and reach the culmination. Now, the feelings involved during sex with Mr. D are entirely different. My focus is split. It is actually in many places. My mind is focused on him. My reactions are part of the play of our lovemaking. He touches me and I react to that touch. His hands on me, his lips on me, all heighten my desire and the feelings within my body and mind. It is a sensation explosion that dwarfs my own masturbation technique such that I can’t properly relate them to each other. There is no comparison. With Mr. D the pleasure can skyrocket me from completely cold to an inferno in seconds. He can grab my clit with his lips and tongue and have my body shaking with tremors instantly. So, how do I equate the two? How do I say I haven’t achieved the pinnacle of pleasure with him when he sends me through wave upon wave of erotic pleasure in so many different ways?

I need to learn the difference between having an orgasm during solo sex and how to do so with a partner. I see that the two are be completely different. This is where my thought has been focused on the subject. Friday night, I think I learned something more. Mr. D had me pinned to the bed, my legs spread wide. He told me to open my sex for him. His mouth and tongue lassoed my clit and he began to suck hard and rhythmically. My feet dug in and the sensations he created had me pushing up off the bed. His fingers began to fuck me and soon after that he probed my ass. After moistening the way into my tight puckered hole, he fucked me with his fingers in both the front and the back simultaneously. While doing this his mouth stayed attached to my clit. I was convulsing and clawing the bed. It was beyond any level of intensity I’ve felt before. I was singularly focused on the pleasure he created and my body was shaking with the supreme level of the sensations. I felt my body convulse in much the same way it does when I cum by myself. But here’s the difference, I was convulsing and crying out and yet there wasn’t that build up I expect, the way it happens prior to having an orgasm. There wasn’t a bulid up because the level of intensity had already started from such a high place. When Mr. D finally stopped and pulled his fingers out of me, my body was still convulsing and experiencing the after effects of the intense onslaught that had just overtaken me. To me, that seems truly like an orgasm, just a different kind.

So, let me know what you think. I’m very interested to know if anyone else has experienced different kind of orgasms like this or had experience with pleasure being felt in differing levels of intensity like I described.


 I’m learning more and more how to have very full days, stay relaxed, fit all the cares in and still enjoy the minutes in between.

Having a relative on a very long hospital stay teaches you things.  I see how my calm demeanor provides calm to others.  It makes me embody the calm peacefulness even more as I strive to serve. Hopefully, I honor my submissive nature as well as help my loved ones.

These seem on the surface to be very simple gifts but they are wrought from many years of struggle. I’m so incredibly blessed that I started this journey very early in life. I remember being the type who would love to arrive at work and share my ‘grumpies’ with others. It felt communal. Truly, it just drains all involved. For a while, I just faked the happy attitude. But that wasn’t honest.  Much, much later I have learned to just be and in my existence to share my inherent peace and joy.

I don’t succeed every day. Monday and Tuesday my child told me I was off. “What’s wrong mom? You’re different today,” seeing my jittery anxiousness.   I took the queue. I had to find the problem and fix it. It was only inside me but was affecting all around me.  Moods are like that…contagious. I have noticed I get that way sometimes after a spectacular weekend with Daddy. I miss him and I’m thrown off my usual pace.

Yesterday could have been tense.  I heard some bad news. But I had a good day, felt relaxed, and gave my peace to my lovies. I love when that flows.

Last night, Mr. D and I had an easy night.  He put up one of those iron pot racks for me. Then we played.  He asked me what was in my toy box.  I bought several things from an online sex shop that was having an insane sale after Christmas. I needed something for when we were at my house because I really had nothing. I even bought a box with a lock to keep the contents from curious eyes. Felt funny unlocking it for Daddy, like I was hiding us somehow.

I bought a flogger with a glass dildo for  a handle. Daddy took it out and inspected it. “That is a stingy one.” He said. Then proved it to me. Certainly was! Then he used the glass dildo on me. Wow, those are insane!  The cold, the hardness, the ribbing on the handle. Yummy. Daddy pummeled my pussy with that thing. I was arching and pushing off the bed it felt so insanely good. We definitely need to use that again.

Image used through CC 3.0 and found here:

Starting Anew


I met a man.  Really, anything can follow that statement.  I met a man for a meeting.  I met a man who sells light bulbs.  I met a man at Starbucks.  But really, today, it means more.  I met a man on Fet Life and as soon as I read his email, as soon as I read his profile, I needed to meet him.  I have a whole lot of timid in me.  I usually am contacted and I take the communication slowly.  I email, I text, I learn about the person….then I stall, I get busy, and ultimately find a reason not to ever meet them.  Not this time.

From the moment I felt his virtual touch, I had to meet him.  He just felt right.  He was a fit.  In his approach, in his gentlemanly qualities, in his subtle and calm feel.  I felt comfortable and excited.  I met a man.  The sentence means a world more now.  I’m excited to learn how to be in a lifestyle relationship in earnest.  I’m excited to feel Dominance.  I don’t know anything about Daddy/baby girl play but I’m looking forward to that too.

I feel a world of possibilities opening to me.  The door is open wide and I’m already through it.  How’s that for timid?

Good Morning

I am used to a blogging format in another venue.  I’m just learning how to put together a Word Press blog and site.  It seems to be a much more robust site with many more functions.

I’m a little leery about learning all that goes into creating a site but I’m excited too.  It is something I need to learn and want to learn.  Now, to do it!

Any help is appreciated.

Thank you!