The other night Daddy and I had some unexpected alone time.  Living together has been amazing but one change is that I see Daddy every day not just the times I’m free from parenting.  So, having alone time together is just as much a ‘thing’ as it was before but different somehow.  Now, I get to see him every day but not every day is sexual time.  Now, all our time is together.  One result of this is we can’t have sex every time the mood strikes, another is we’re not missing each other so desperately by the time we get to be alone.

I long for our alone time.  Monday while we were having sex, I got so turned on and so wound up.  I felt really close to subspace without any dominance pushing me there. I felt that frenzy of need.  Looking back, I think it was a matter of seeing Daddy all week but not having that sexual time whenever we want it.  It is like a slow burn.  It resides in the background until a match is lit.

A Forever Love


Loved and lost

Gave my heart and my all

Gave until I was lost

Until I didn’t know who I was anymore

Always trying to fit into their boxes

To be what they needed

I don’t resent them

I still love them

Envy them in ways unimagined

They left and found nothing

Though I wish they had

Happiness is fleeting

They deserve happy

Loss is crushing and debilitating

I know; thrice I have lost

Yet, I love again

Baby Girl…

Hoping against hope that this is always

The fit is amazing

The joy is exquisite

The serenity in her presence is surreal

I am myself as I want to be

Relaxed, a peaceful chaos

I fear

I reserve that right

The pain of loss is still upon me

The loss of a love

Of my sanity

Of my joy

I don’t want that suffering

Not for myself

Not for anyone

But in this love I feel warmth, joy

She is always there now

In my thoughts

In my presence of mind

Her touch; her aura, and light

It illuminates my existence

Hope emanates

Longing for peace and longevity

Longing for a life with her

Forever sharing our joy

Freely giving

Hoping only for more time with her

I am in love

Truly and desperately in love

Baby Girl…My heart is yours

February 13, 2015

Image from Pixabay with permission through CC0 Public Domain

On Celebrating


It is Mr. D’s birthday next week.  I’m thankful that we’ve had this weekend to relax together and enjoy each other.  Each day I’ve done a little something to care for him and hopefully make him feel loved and honored.  For his birthday?  Yes, but also because I want him to know how loved he is and how appreciative I am for all the qualities that make up his character.

Today, I want to write for him and hope my words do justice to him.

Before we met, when I read what he had written about himself and read the words he chose to share with me, I felt a rightness to him.  He fit with me and how I am.  There was a comfort to him.  He is one of the most accepting people I have met.  He says,”Freak Freely, Friend” as a way of accepting others in all their random kinkiness.  But also, he accepts people as they are, no matter who they are.  He learns people’s names…waiters, bus boys, random people on the street, anyone.  To watch him, you see that he treats all people the same.  He is friendly and open to all.  It is at once disarming and joyous.  I always feel relaxed with him in public because I know he treats everyone we meet with respect.

This past week, I’ve had a horrible cold.  It kicked my butt good.  I took a few days off and did nothing but care for my sick family and sleep.  That’s all I had energy to do.  I was concerned about getting Mr. D sick when it was time to see him but he doesn’t allow me any of that.  He wants to see me regardless.  I love how much he shares with me and that he wants to see me no matter how I look or feel.   I can be myself with him.  I absolutely love to dress to the nines for him when I’m not a sick mess.  I have never felt so desired as I am to him. He has a way of showing his appreciation of the female form, my female form, that just sets me ablaze.  I want to dress for him, to present my body for him in every sexy way possible.  I never take that for granted.  It is such a freeing sensation to be surrounded by his desire for me.  I wear things for him that I’ve never worn before.  I show off my body to him like I’ve never shown it off to anyone.  His desire draws me to him like a moth to the porch light.

Mr. D is also methodical and thoughtful.  He works a problem from every angle and also works me from every angle. When a problem presents itself he does not immediately act.  He works it through in mind then when he has arrived upon a solution he acts.  When we are in bed I see how creative he is to come up with the things he does to me.  He keeps me on my toes…or bent over the bed, mounted on a spanking bench, twisted into a pretzel, whatever position he thinks will fulfill our kinky itch in the moment.  I love that.

He has two sides to him depending on the need.  He can be introspective and quiet.  He loves to read and enjoys quiet relaxing time with a book and a cigar.  He can also be the life of the party.  He loves to cook and entertain.  He is in his element feeding his clan and watching everyone enjoy his food. He adores having his whole family around and they are amazing people.  They show me his quality by virtue of the people he chooses.

He has shown me what being a Daddy is all about.  He is very protective and caring.  I watch him and listen to how he worries about those close to him and see how he cares for me.  He puts others first in many ways.  He watches over me and makes me take care of myself when I wouldn’t normally take the time.  He gives me comfort in knowing that he is looking out for me and taking care of me.  He is lenient in my mistakes and allows that I am not perfect.  He sees that I want to please and fills the void when I don’t take initiative.  In some areas, I’m still timid like a little girl.  I see it.  With him, I don’t feel the disappointment I used to feel from partners for the way I am.  With him, I feel like he takes the reigns in those moments and leads me with his dominance.  We fit together so well.  We are two halves of a whole.

He has found triggers in me sexually that I did not know existed.  I knew I wanted to be dominated.  But there are ways that he dominates that I did not expect.  He tests the waters, feels out my reactions and moves forward with the information.  I can only guess how our dynamic will grow and change over the years.  Thinking about it gives me this visceral ache in my belly.  I want him all the damn time because of it.  I want more, I feel famished and satiated at once. It is the strangest hunger…my hunger for him.  I don’t know that this hunger will ever abate.  The more of him I have, the more I want. It is the snake eating its tail, an unending circle of desire and hunger.

Happy Birthday, my Love. I look forward to many years of loving you.