Why?

Why is it when I’ve had a trying day that I want Him? I want him to hold me and love me. Also, though, I want him to beat me. I want the pain to bloom across my ass. I want the rushing heat to banish any other thought. I want the world beyond his reach to cease. I want to feel and live for only him.

That is what I want.

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Masturbation Fantasy

I was masturbating recently and I came up with a fantasy that twisted me so hard. I have to share it with you.

I’ve been fantasizing when I masturbate a lot more lately. In my efforts to become more orgasmic with Daddy, I decided that masturbation with porn is not helpful. It’s kind of an automatic reaction. I watch a hot porn scene, cum and get on with my day. It’s about as exciting as brushing my teeth every morning. This is not leading me towards my goal so I’m trying not to do it as much.

I was in bed and I began to touch myself. I caressed my sides and my belly. I graze my fingertips so lightly on my skin that it raises goosebumps. Then I can feel my nipples harden. When I do it this way, without touching them directly, they get so hard so fast that the skin puckers and crinkles. It sends little shockwaves of nipple sensation through my body. God, I love that sensation.

I pictured a scene in my mind. This is what I saw as I touched myself…

I came home expecting to see Daddy and get a kiss hello but I couldn’t find him. I went into the bedroom and was shocked to find him fucking a hot girl. She was curvy and had great tits. He had her pinned under him, his cock full to the hilt inside her.

It was so hot seeing this but then I was immediately torn with jealousy and pain. He didn’t tell me he was fucking this girl. He’s supposed to tell me about them before he does. My face fell and I just stood there watching and twisting inside.

He turned because he felt my presence. “Strip and kneel slut. This is for you.” Then he went back to fucking her. I stripped my clothes off and knelt near the bed still watching them fuck. My pussy was dripping yet my stomach was still twisting with jealousy. This was for me? He had given me a clue. He was doing this as a scene for us.

Now the girl notices me naked and kneeling on the floor. “That’s hot. Does she do anything you tell her?” At this point Daddy rolled off her and made her get on top of him.

“Of course she does. She’s my dirty little slave. Now, ride me.” She got on top of him and began fucking him. Her tits bounced as she did. Then she started talking to me.

“I’d like a slave slut like you. I’d make you do all sorts of things. Fuck yeah, I would.” Then she moaned and rode Daddy harder. “God I love his cock. It’s a big fat cock, you’re so lucky to get fucked with it all the time.” I twisted some more as she rode him. I was so close to cumming now.

He moaned and I switched to watching him. I love watching Daddy cum. He cried out and shot his load into her. Her tits were bouncing as he filled her. When he was done he looked over to me. “I came for you Darling. You know what you have to do.” I knew but, wow, I had never had his cum that way.

“Get up here and lick it out of her. It’s Daddy’s cum.” I got up in between her legs.

The hottie looked at him then at me. “Fuck yeah, do it!” (I didn’t give her much in the way of a vocab, did I?) I licked her clean then made her squirm and cum herself.

In reality, I had cum when Daddy shot his load but damn I had to finish that scene in my mind while my body was twitching from a really good orgasm.

Orgasms

I have a little challenge and it goes something like this…sex is incredible and with Daddy, oh my goodness, it is through the roof good. Our connection is iron hot. And yet, I still have trouble orgasming when we have sex. It’s a me thing. I’ve told you all this before.

When I write about sex, I either don’t mention this issue so I can write the super hot scenes we’ve had or I write specifically about this problem. I think I’m going to try to pepper it into my writing in a less separated or obtrusive way.

It’s part of the life I lead and I’m actively pursuing resolution for it so I’m going to try it this way for a bit. Sex is amazing goodness even with the little challenges. I love every moment I get to have it with Daddy.

Cry if You Must

“Kneel for me by the bed. Take the vibrator and put it on your clit,” he said. I did as told.

Already I was defeated. I knew this would be fruitless. I had no delusions that I’d be able to give him an orgasm this way. My body was decidedly not ready to be turned on. Have you ever had those days?  One where you knew it was going to take a lot to get your motor running?

I told myself to push those defeatist thoughts out of my mind and damned well do what Daddy wanted. I got on my knees near to the bed.  He laid on the bed so our faces were close together.  I was naked and put the vibrator on my clit on low speed.  As Daddy talked in my ear, my body warmed to the idea. The vibration awakened my clit and it began to feel good. 

All the while, Daddy talked in my ear.  “You’re my good little slut, my whore and you’re going to give me what I want aren’t you?”

I cringed. I was certain my knees would give out far faster than my mind would submit and allow me an orgasm. I whimpered in agreement and kept going. 

The more he talked the more my body responded.  His filthy talk and the names he called me spun into a sinful cyclone of pleasure.  I ached to obey. I longed for him to keep going, to debase me further. 

“You’re my dirty cum whore.  You will cum for me.” Damn, I wanted to so badly.  My knees were shooting pain but my body was finally kicking into high gear. 

I whimpered again.  I was getting frustrated with myself.  There seemed no passing a certain point, no thrusting myself over the edge.  The pain in my knees was interfering with my progress.  I looked up to him as my body slumped on the side of the bed. “Cry if you must but you will cum for me.”  He turned the vibrator to high.

Damn! I swear if I had any hope of cumming in this position that would have sent me over the edge.  That was fucking hot! All the times I ached for Harsh Daddy flooded into my mind…every last fantasy that he now fulfilled.  

It occurred to me that my feet were now completely asleep.  I cried and kept that cursed vibrator where he wanted it though.  I’d be damned if I was going to let my Fantasy Dom Incarnate down after he gave me what I always craved. Fuck. 

Finally, I looked up to him with tears in my eyes.  I was so dejected that my body had no hope of rising above the pain to achieve the goal he demanded. “What is it, slut?” He asked.

I paused and agonized but finally said, “My knees are in pain and my feet are asleep Daddy.  May I please stop?”  He gave me permission. 

Later he asked why on earth I didn’t call my safe word earlier, but really how could I?  This is what I’ve always wanted. 

Panic

Today we had an hour.  I stopped by to pick up something he made for me.  He’s good to me.  I had to get back home though so we only had time for a short snuggle.

We lay on the bed tangled together.  We talked about the day before which had been a fun day with family.  The men had golfed then they all came to my place for dinner.   It was really nice to cook for my men after a good day of golf.  Their ladies came over too which made it especially nice.

I ran my fingers over Daddy’s chest and played with his nipple rings. I really like tugging on them.  My mind was on sex but he said just cuddle. “What are your thinking about baby girl?” He asked.

“I was thinking about sucking your nipple Daddy.”

“That’s the difference between Daddy’s and baby girls.  Daddy’s take what they want we don’t just think about it.” He said.

“Hm, then are you going to take what you want Daddy?” I was playing.  I wanted him to rape me but I was trying to be good. Being bad had recently gotten me in trouble. I suppose I wasn’t trying very hard though, I wanted fucking.

He smiled, I could see his mind working. “You don’t have much time for me to take what I want.” Here I was thinking, and that time is ticking away while we could be fucking.  But I bit my tongue. 

Ok, I couldn’t take it anymore. “Well, we have time for a little fucking if that’s what you want.” I heard his breathing change.  He waited for what felt like forever but it was about 5 seconds.

“On your stomach baby girl.” Yes, yes, yes! I thought to myself as I pushed away from his side and placed myself face down on the bed. He pulled off my pants and thrust his face into my ass.  His tongue probed and licked and tormented me.  He lifted my body and pushed a finger into my pussy.  I was already becoming wet for him.  I wanted him.  Immediately after penetrating my pussy I felt a wet finger probe my asshole.  Oh no, my ass too? I took deep breaths and he pushed his finger inside my tight hole. He wiggled his finger and tested the tightness.   I moaned from pleasure and trepidation alike.

I had a suspicion that he would take my ass today.  He had told me in the heat of sex several days before that he would take his privilege and have my ass.  It hadn’t happened then so I knew it was imminent. I heard him rumble with pleasure, “Oh, she wants me. She opened right up for me.”

“Roll on your side baby girl.” No, no, no. I thought, not now, not without any warm up.  But I did as he said and tried not to whimper.   I always do my best to give him what he wants.  Some part of me knows or at least hopes my body will fall in line and respond. He mounted me and pushed his hard cock into my pussy, oh thank god, it wasn’t my ass.  I was lulled, I relaxed and immediately began to enjoy him fucking me.  After a few minutes, he pushed a lubed finger into my ass.  This is one of our favorite positions.  His cock in me from behind and his fingers taking my ass.  It’s hot and dirty and the pleasure of it is so intense. 

Just as soon as he started he stopped.  He pulled out and tucked my legs up against my chest so I was all the way on my side.  “Play with your clit, baby.”  I moaned in denial.

“No Daddy, please.”

“Yes, slut, you owe me.  I said I’d take it and I didn’t. Now, it’s mine.” I knew he was right.  I knew I had no way out.  I braced myself.  I put my fingers on my clit and moved them back and forth fast.  Any passion, any sensation helps to take me to that place where I don’t care about anything but the pleasure. He pushed his cock right up to my tight hole.  He moved slowly and did not back down when I panicked because panic I did.  

“Slow Daddy, slow!” I grabbed the bedside table and as the fear gripped me hard.  His cock was stretching me so wide so fast.  It doesn’t hurt exactly.  It feels like his cock is pushing a hole right into me somewhere there isn’t already a hole.  His girth is so wide and it takes time for my body to open to him.  Reason flies away and my fear of tearing is all I can see.

“Breathe, baby breathe.  I’m already in.” He had stopped when I cried out but he was still inside me.  He was right, he was inside my tight tunnel.  He began to move while I whimpered and tried to calm down.  On the second stroke I felt the pleasure of the tight friction take hold.  There is nothing on earth like anal sex.  It is scary and so provocative at the same time.  It is a show of dominance and a submissive sacrifice as well.  

He began to fuck my ass faster and deeper.   My body relaxed for him and shudders of intensity rushed through my body. “What am I doing slut?”

“Fucking my ass Daddy.” I gasped.

“That’s right, I’m fucking my slut’s ass.”  He thrust hard and fast.  My eyes were closed, my head back.  I was deep into the raw feeling of it all.

“I need your come Daddy.  Please come in my ass.” I wanted to feel his hot liquid love inside me.  I ached for it, I would have done anything for it.  

“That’s my good little come slut. Take it, take my come!” He let loose and I heard him yell.  I felt his cock spasm and fill my ass with his hot load. So, so good!  I love listening to him shudder and come.  He fell on top of me as he filled my ass.

Later, after we rested and I came down from the lower levels of submission he put me in, he said, “It’s so crazy how you panic so thoroughly.  Something about that just drives me crazy.”

Me too.  Me too.

Fire

He lights a candle and holds it close.  The light is soft and lures me.  I bask in the glow.  Once he feels me respond to his subtle little flame, he adds more fuel.  

The brightness shines a light over my soul.  He looks ever so closely and sees all of me.  He sees what I want to show, he sees what I hide.  He finds my fears and notices the barriers of my walls. 

A flame thus ignites within me. I respond in kind to his beacon.  I quake in fear that he sees me, that he knows my every secret.  But his light continues to shine bright as day even though my sins are now exposed. 

I see now that he will not turn away.  He wants my sin, he wants my hidden terrors.  He wants my dirty, rotten imperfections.  I roll like a swine in mud.  He grants me freedom to be the basest of pitiful things.

His high beam of stark honesty and vision ignites.  He takes the clay before him and carves out the pure beast within.  His talons grip me, his voracious fire consumes me.  I burn, oh how I burn in his realm.

From the fire emerges a passion that seeks its match and finds it in him.  Red and tumultuous, hot and painful it engulfs us.  The flames lick and eat and take their fill.  The eager coals smolder and deprive me of all my air.

I pant and rut.  His fire turns me on a spit.  Every basted bit is lashed by his words and his tongue.  No reason allows me succor. My thoughts, my being,  the primordial spark of me bends to him.

He fears losing control.  I can’t help him with that.  All my heart and morbid desires want him to lose himself and break me.  Each speck of glorious light I sense in him is answered with a raging wildfire.  

Heaven help me, he called me an angel.  But all I want is to grovel at his feet, to debase myself completely.  The fiber of my mind crackles in the viscous lava of my subservience to him.

Please, I beg of you, destroy all meaning.  Tear my walls and protections from me.  His voice stirs wicked desires.  His dirty words bind me to him for all eternity.  I fall deeper into the abyss gladly. 

Write

Daddy and I are in the midst of a fire storm of lust.  Lust is ephemeral, it ebbs and flows naturally but right now it is hot and palpable between us.  We are three days into some intense connection with no signs of a slow down.

Today we ran errands and had lunch.  We just returned and while he used the bathroom, I enjoyed a little rest on the bed checking up on social media. I’m dressed for Daddy today.  I have on black tights that have a sexy cross stitch up the leg, a black body suit with a low cut V-neck and a tiny Minnie Mouse skirt of polka dots.

He told me he’d be going out to enjoy a cigar and that we’d nap afterwards in preparation for our evening.  Relaxed and easy, I thought.  Until he started feeling my ass and thighs through the leggings.  He ran his hands over the slinky material then his teeth sank into my ass.  Damn, he drives me insane with need.  He bit and moved, bit and moved, the material of the leggings doing nothing to impede him or his teeth from making contact with my tender ass.  When he bit the sensitive meridian between ass and thigh I clearly yelped.  My body and mind reacted to him in a rush.

His hands moved up my back, pushing me into the bed.  Over and over, he pushed me down.  It felt divine.  I love him manhandling me.  He grabbed my hair at the back of my head and yanked me up from the bed. “You are a Goddess.  You turn me on.  You will take this energy and write for me.  Is that clear?”

“Yes,  yes Daddy.  I will.”

“Yes, you will.” He pulled down my pants and unsnapped the body suit.  His fingers pushed into my sex.  Damn, he sends wildfire through me with his touch.  He pumped his finger into my sex and then tasted my juices on him.  “Here, you need to taste this too.” His finger plunged in me again and was then presented to my lips.  I suckled as commanded.

He pulled down his jeans, he was standing near the bed.  He took a handful of my hair and pushed me towards him.  My lips wrapped around the dripping head of his cock.  I tasted him and moaned.  I tasted us together and ached to keep sucking him. He pulled away from me then.  “I’ll be back in a hour.  Write.”