I Want

Sooo tired today.  It was the time change yesterday but that probably had nothing to do with why I’m tired. I worked off and on yesterday organizing things, separating what should get packed etc. 

I had a big argument the day before with my Ex about stupid stuff so I couldn’t really focus in a direct way on what I needed to do. I worked then vegged then worked some more.

Tonight I am going to masturbate and go to sleep, done deal.  I want Daddy in the worst way right now. I want him here, I want his big cock in me, I want his hand on my throat.  I want to feel his dominance and his body on mine.  

Yes, please.  That’s what I want.  I want the fire and the heat.  

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10 Minutes

All I want right now is 10 minutes with him.  Okay, actually I want a full evening session of bondage, rope, spankings, dominance and the whole variety of things he’s shown me a hankering for but I’ll take 10 minutes.  Actually, scratch that.  I just want him.  Nothing fancy, nothing extra, just him naked…me naked…and friction.  That’s all I’m asking!  That’s all I want!

Okay, back to your regularly scheduled broadcast. 🙂

“Take Me To Church”

My lover’s got humour
She’s the giggle at a funeral
Knows everybody’s disapproval
I should’ve worshipped her sooner

If the heavens ever did speak
She’s the last true mouthpiece
Every Sunday’s getting more bleak
A fresh poison each week

‘We were born sick, ‘ you heard them say it

My Church offers no absolutes
She tells me, ‘Worship in the bedroom.’
The only heaven I’ll be sent to
Is when I’m alone with you—

I was born sick,
But I love it
Command me to be well
Amen. Amen. Amen. Amen.

Take me to church
I’ll worship like a dog at the shrine of your lies
I’ll tell you my sins and you can sharpen your knife
Offer me that deathless death
Good God, let me give you my life

If I’m a pagan of the good times
My lover’s the sunlight
To keep the Goddess on my side
She demands a sacrifice

Drain the whole sea
Get something shiny
Something meaty for the main course
That’s a fine looking high horse
What you got in the stable?
We’ve a lot of starving faithful

That looks tasty
That looks plenty
This is hungry work

Take me to church
I’ll worship like a dog at the shrine of your lies
I’ll tell you my sins so you can sharpen your knife
Offer me my deathless death
Good God, let me give you my life

No Masters or Kings
When the Ritual begins
There is no sweeter innocence than our gentle sin

In the madness and soil of that sad earthly scene
Only then I am Human
Only then I am Clean
Amen. Amen. Amen. Amen.

Take me to church
I’ll worship like a dog at the shrine of your lies
I’ll tell you my sins and you can sharpen your knife
Offer me that deathless death
Good God, let me give you my life

Something about this song strikes a chord with me. My choice is to worship at the shrine of his need. Nothing fulfills the soul more than a deep, raw, visceral connection with your One. Religion pales, work pales, the passion that ignites between us makes the whole damned world recede. Nothing more to distract, nothing left to separate his skin from my touch.

Need

Rambling Again

Lust, desire unabated
Longing coursing through me
Staunchly checked
Biding time until she is with me
Biting my tongue
Never pressuring her for time
Constrained is her world
Time is limited
Responsibilities demanding
I am her down time
Her solace and respite
I miss her presence
I want her laughter; her light
I find things to occupy me
Yet always the onus is on her
But I defer
No pressure, never that
In her time
I look at her pictures
I read her words
I close my eyes and taste her
I sense her touch with my mind
And wait…
It is always the same when she comes to me
She appears and within minutes I take her
Claiming her mine and marking her
Ensuring my scent is on her
Only then am I able to escape the longing and need
I drink deeply from her and am refreshed
Realization…
I am dehydrated, parched, or desperately thirsty
Quench me Lover, please

Backdoor Update

Dolly_Morton_Illustration_2Mr. D has two desires that I have yet to fulfill.  One is anal sex.  He is training me for this and I know it will happen soon.  I’ve had a taxing week so I did not do any training with the plug. I know Mr. D understands but I still felt rotten about it.  I really need to take a step back from my life and reprioritize things so my responsibilities don’t bury me like they did this week.

Last night, Mr. D fucked my ass with his fingers.  Instead of my training, this is what I got.  Oh my goodness, it was intense.  He flips me over and mounts me doggie style.  His cock fills me in front and then he works his fingers inside my tight little hole.   It had been a week since the last time and this time he did it swiftly.  I’m obviously getting used to him being there.  It did not take any time for me to relax.  He was in and then moving his fingers quickly in and out of me.  The pleasure is truly indescribable.

I’m pretty sure I was talking to Mr. D.  I think I begged him to fuck my ass. “Yes, Daddy, fuck my ass.  I want you inside me. I need you in my ass!”  I was so lost in him being inside me front and back.  I was overwhelmed and kept talking because I had to share my ecstasy with him. I was desperate for him to know how I felt.

Afterwards…after Mr. D came so hard, he said he loved my enthusiasm.  He was panting, recovering and I heard him say that almost to himself.  It made me smile so much.  I loved that.

Photo from Wikipedia used through CC Public Domain

Bring me Life

le_ravissement_de_psyche-largeI am here with MrD and my body is aching in that way that only happens when you have abused it so many times that you just can’t abuse it any further. And yet…

And yet, I still want him.  I still ache for him inside me.  I still want to feel his weight press me down into the bed and for him to take me until there is nothing left of either of us but the ashes.

Last night was beyond…beyond words really.  I will attempt to put words to the feelings, to the actions, to the play…but they will pale by comparison.

When I arrived at his place, we spent time relaxing and then went to the bedroom to lie down and feel each other close.  I call the right side of his chest “Home”.  I feel more peaceful in his arms than anywhere on this earth.  It is a place and yet it is not a place at all.  It is the connection of my soul to his, of my body to his, of my heat to his.  Why does touch hold such a deep carnal and soul completing place in our psyches?  I touch him and I am immediately calmed, relaxed, melting.  I cannot stop touching his skin, feeling the soft fur that covers his body.  It is as if my fingers are addicted and through their travels over his body their cravings are sated.  Though, the satiation never lasts for I am an addict in this need for touching him.

When I was in the midst of this thrall of touch, he rose and pulled off my shorts.  He put himself between my legs and I felt my body succumb to his lips and tongue.  He has a talent for turning me inside out with the sensations that he sends through me from that very core of my feminine being.  I lost myself to the waves of pleasure and the feelings that his tongue and mouth elicited from me.  I am greedy, so very greedy for I ache for him inside me while he is having his way pleasing me.  The longer his mouth is on me, the harder it is for me to keep still and allow the pleasure that he gives.  That is hard to admit, for a submissive should not have the choice to allow or not.  A submissive serves and in this service pleases.  To acquiesce is what is demanded at this time, I do my best but ultimately I have an all stripping need for him inside me that I can’t not voice.  I beg for it, then.  At first, he denies me.  He wants to give the pleasure, he is in command.  I whimper but obey and the pleasure of what he does washes me further into the tide.  But, oh, the need mounts.  I bite it back, I tremble with the effort but in the end I am weak and I beg yet again.

At some point, he takes pity on my tortured psyche and allows my desire.  Then he mounts me and I am simply carried away from all other thought but the feeling of him inside me, the stretching of my body to accept his.  In this moment, all I can sense is the joining of our two bodies to one.  The smell of sex fills the room, his weight pins my body to the bed, his legs push mine apart.  Oh, how I revel in the feel as we become one.  As soon as I have what I want though, it is not enough.  Waves of pleasure roll from him to me and back.  I am beyond the need and far into the want of him.  I want him deeper and further inside me than is possible.  This want of him fills my mind, my senses, my soul.  I want him to abuse me until we are merged into one person.  I want him to drill completely through me until he has mashed me completely into his bed.  What is it that he does to bring this out in me?  I don’t need an answer, just more of him.

I fear I will never be able to satisfy this addiction completely.  But I do know I am having a sinful good time in the effort.  And I have not gotten to the story of last night that I started out telling.

To be continued…