During our time in Cancun we were with our kinky family and their vanilla family. So, with several non-kink folks around, we had to be careful how we behaved. We didn’t want Goddess and El Jefe’s non-kinky family to be in any uncomfortable situations.
There were a couple times where the lines blurred a bit. One occasion ended up being very funny while another gave me pause.
One morning Daddy took out the flogger, a crop and the slapper he made for me. He bent me over the bed and gave me a small taste of a spanking. It was a short tease meant to be the precursor for fun later. Afterwards, he left the implements on the bed. We didn’t think anything of it and went to lunch. Later in the day, when we were all sharing our pool, a couple that was part of the group chose to go back to their room through ours.
“What are those?!?” The woman asked. She had several vodkas in her already and she wasn’t shy. Her man was right behind her and chuckled.
“Those are toys for sex Hon.” She grabbed his hand and fell back into him as if for protection. She looked confused. Mr. D began to explain to her and I tried to help. El Jefe walked up behind this tableau and thought he could help too. It probably didn’t help that all involved were plenty inebriated.
“Honest Darling, the women who they use these on like it. You might even like it. You’d be surprised.” Her boyfriend trying to help.
“I like it. It’s completely safe and you talk about it all beforehand.” Me trying to be helpful.
Mr. D tried to explain the roles and reasons of the lifestyle which would have been great had she not been so drunk and had El Jefe not decided to pick up the flogger. He proceeded to whip the back of the couch with gusto as his friend (the woman) watched him in abject horror. Her boyfriend made the wise move to take her out of the situation.
Later, when they were sober, she told us she understood but it wasn’t her thing. No kidding!
The other event that happened was me asking Daddy to stop doing something that made me uncomfortable. I felt really bad asking him to stop something twice and it still doesn’t set well with me but as I think about it now I still would have asked to stop.
On the way back from the bachelor party (six of us went) Daddy and I were in the last row of a mini van taxi together. He had me spread my legs so that he could play with my clit while the rest of the group was talking away in the first two rows. One of the guys in the next row was watching me. His line of vision was straight toward me which gave him a view right up my skirt. He was drunk and it was dark so the view probably wasn’t what I thought but I felt very uncomfortable. He wasn’t someone I’d ever play with and the thought of being the show for him freaked me out.
The same thing with a different circumstance happened the next day. El Jefe and Goddess were having room service in our room the next morning. They had been tense with each other over pre-wedding stresses and had just ironed things out. Daddy and I were lying on our bed because it was a comfortable spot and gave them space. Daddy put his hand up my skirt and began to play with me but I just couldn’t. I wouldn’t normally mind in front of them but the tone was way off and it felt intrusive.
Both times I asked Daddy to stop but they were for different reasons having to do with consent. The first was my own consent and in the second I felt like I was speaking up for the consent of others. Would they have cared? In both cases, probably not. The random guy would have probably watched eagerly and El Jefe and Goddess would have taken it in stride even though it was a bad time. Still, I needed the comfort level and it wasn’t there for me.
Would I have continued if Daddy had forced the issue, yes I would have. Did I do the right thing? I really don’t know. Daddy made an offhanded comment later about me not letting him have his way. I felt really bad once I figured out what he was referencing.
Exhibitionism is becoming more and more of a turn-on for me. But I need to know that the people watching have consented to it and really want to watch otherwise I worry so much about them and what they think that it throws me completely out of the right headspace.
I should be leaving this worry to my Dominant shouldn’t I? I know it’s edge play and I should let him find the edge. I need to learn how better to let my dominant lead in these situations.