Masturbation Fantasy

I was masturbating recently and I came up with a fantasy that twisted me so hard. I have to share it with you.

I’ve been fantasizing when I masturbate a lot more lately. In my efforts to become more orgasmic with Daddy, I decided that masturbation with porn is not helpful. It’s kind of an automatic reaction. I watch a hot porn scene, cum and get on with my day. It’s about as exciting as brushing my teeth every morning. This is not leading me towards my goal so I’m trying not to do it as much.

I was in bed and I began to touch myself. I caressed my sides and my belly. I graze my fingertips so lightly on my skin that it raises goosebumps. Then I can feel my nipples harden. When I do it this way, without touching them directly, they get so hard so fast that the skin puckers and crinkles. It sends little shockwaves of nipple sensation through my body. God, I love that sensation.

I pictured a scene in my mind. This is what I saw as I touched myself…

I came home expecting to see Daddy and get a kiss hello but I couldn’t find him. I went into the bedroom and was shocked to find him fucking a hot girl. She was curvy and had great tits. He had her pinned under him, his cock full to the hilt inside her.

It was so hot seeing this but then I was immediately torn with jealousy and pain. He didn’t tell me he was fucking this girl. He’s supposed to tell me about them before he does. My face fell and I just stood there watching and twisting inside.

He turned because he felt my presence. “Strip and kneel slut. This is for you.” Then he went back to fucking her. I stripped my clothes off and knelt near the bed still watching them fuck. My pussy was dripping yet my stomach was still twisting with jealousy. This was for me? He had given me a clue. He was doing this as a scene for us.

Now the girl notices me naked and kneeling on the floor. “That’s hot. Does she do anything you tell her?” At this point Daddy rolled off her and made her get on top of him.

“Of course she does. She’s my dirty little slave. Now, ride me.” She got on top of him and began fucking him. Her tits bounced as she did. Then she started talking to me.

“I’d like a slave slut like you. I’d make you do all sorts of things. Fuck yeah, I would.” Then she moaned and rode Daddy harder. “God I love his cock. It’s a big fat cock, you’re so lucky to get fucked with it all the time.” I twisted some more as she rode him. I was so close to cumming now.

He moaned and I switched to watching him. I love watching Daddy cum. He cried out and shot his load into her. Her tits were bouncing as he filled her. When he was done he looked over to me. “I came for you Darling. You know what you have to do.” I knew but, wow, I had never had his cum that way.

“Get up here and lick it out of her. It’s Daddy’s cum.” I got up in between her legs.

The hottie looked at him then at me. “Fuck yeah, do it!” (I didn’t give her much in the way of a vocab, did I?) I licked her clean then made her squirm and cum herself.

In reality, I had cum when Daddy shot his load but damn I had to finish that scene in my mind while my body was twitching from a really good orgasm.

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Orgasms

I have a little challenge and it goes something like this…sex is incredible and with Daddy, oh my goodness, it is through the roof good. Our connection is iron hot. And yet, I still have trouble orgasming when we have sex. It’s a me thing. I’ve told you all this before.

When I write about sex, I either don’t mention this issue so I can write the super hot scenes we’ve had or I write specifically about this problem. I think I’m going to try to pepper it into my writing in a less separated or obtrusive way.

It’s part of the life I lead and I’m actively pursuing resolution for it so I’m going to try it this way for a bit. Sex is amazing goodness even with the little challenges. I love every moment I get to have it with Daddy.

Following

I was responding to a comment and something came up that I thought I’d bring to a more public place for discussion. Those of us that write a blog all have certain things we do as part of this blogging way of life. It’s not just write, publish and reap millions of readers’ love and adoration. Is it? I mean, if it is for you that’s insanely good. Move along, there’s nothing for you here.

Like I said in my last post, this is a blogging platform not specifically a social one. If you want it to become a social one you have to work at it. Most followers at the beginning to middle stages of a blog are other blog writers. We’re interested and we’re here a lot more than general readers. It just stands to reason that we are each other’s audience to a great extent. What that means is that there is reciprocation needed. You can’t just write and move on with your day if you want to build a community.

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve read a blog post about someone’s guilt related to not reading all their followers’ posts. I feel that guilt all the time. I’m sure many of you do too…I’ve read it. I’ve gone back and forth with this guilt. I’ve tried to read through and comment on every subscription email I receive on your posts. I’ve tried to have a laissez-faire attitude of “I’ll read the ones that really interest me,” because I can’t read them all. Then I’ve fallen completely off the wagon and deleted them all in one swift fire sale of frustration. I haven’t found the sweet spot of following.

My question is what do you do? How do you handle the flow? How do you build community? I see some folks who have succeeded. They have a nice group of consistent commenters and they are having a grand time. I post a comment in the midst of their conversation and it makes me smile. I feel the glow coming from their light.

I know not everyone has the same goal. People blog for many different reasons. My own reasons vacillate back and forth. I write because I love to write. I write for my Dominant. He loves to read and it thrills me to thrill him. This is a way I can serve him and show my love. He likes to use my writing to assess how I did with his choice of scenes. He is a process thinker, an engineer. He needs input and I don’t always want to talk it all through. I love talking to him but I don’t always volunteer information, so I write and it’s

another way to communicate.

I am a social person and a service person. My submission to Daddy has a big service element. My work and parenting also have a service element. This means that I don’t do anything in a vacuum or just for myself. Which leads me to realize that I need to give weight to that in my writing endeavors too. I thrive on feedback. I thrive in a community. When the community or service aspect of my writing dwindles, I stop wanting to write as much.

I’d love to hear your thoughts on building a blogging community, how you are a good follower or why you write. Thank you to all who read and follow me. You are truly my lifeblood here.

Why Write?

I’ve been asking myself this a lot lately. It is a clear sign that I have writer’s fatigue. Right at this moment I don’t have a burning desire to write. When this happens I struggle with it. I want to write but it’s like slogging through mud in fishing boots.

I mentioned this to a friend I used to blog with back in the day. He said that perhaps I need more immediate feedback and that’s true. When I blogged on places like Yahoo 360 and Multiply there were whole communities of bloggers and it felt like Home. We riffed off each other’s writing and it was fun. I see that happening for many on this site but I haven’t been able to scratch the surface much. I am sporadic at times and this does not build a social group. Plus, WordPress is a classic blogging site rather than a social platform.

Perhaps, it’s that I’m writing about real life now instead of my fantasies. I’ve written two different blogs in the past. They were family-based or kink lifestyle-based in some fashion. I would bounce up and down the scale of dedication to both. Real life blogging is a unique type of storytelling. You actually need some real event to write about. You can’t tell a pithy or anecdotal story if nothing interesting happened that day. If you force it then it simply becomes FaceBook. This isn’t that.

My lifestyle blog in the past was about how I wanted to learn about the lifestyle. It was a good chunk of exploration with fantasy peppered throughout. Now I write about the lifestyle I currently live. It’s been suggested that I write some fantasy again. Ok.

But if someone is coming to a reality-based kink lifestyle blog do they really want to hear my fantasies? Maybe or maybe not.

What really irks me to no end and I’m sure bothers my Dominant is we’ve had some amazing scenes, one in particular, that I haven’t written. Every time I go over the events in my mind I can’t summon the words to do it justice. So, I get down on myself and that dampens the process further.

All this has been rumbling around in my mind while steaming hot scene writing has escaped me. Your thoughts are welcome.

High and Lows

I've noticed I go through highs and lows. Maybe it's hormones maybe I just miss Daddy. I don't know what it is. I just notice the cycle.

Right now is the low. I feel it cover me like a cloying blanket. I drag myself out of bed, drag myself to work, then I work like a fiend because I let work dominate my soul like that while I'm there.

Afterwards, I drag home and sit on the couch. Tonight, I have no child to care for so it's either easier or harder, I haven't decided. Easier, because when he's here I must care for him. Harder, because he distracts me with his teen all consuming everything, which is helpful.

Blah blah blah. No one wants to hear this. I don't even want to write it. I think it's only valuable as a journal-writing exercise that will hopefully vent the pent up steam. Masturbating every damned night ain't doin' it.

Girl Play

When Daddy came to visit he brought many of his toys with him. He brought two floggers, a crop, a tawse and El Jefe and Goddess. Not only did I get Daddy for a visit but they came out to see us at the same time. I was a lucky girl!

We all had a perfect weekend together. We visited and relaxed, we went out to eat and stayed in to cook. On Sunday night we had play time. Goddess likes a good flogging just as much as I do. Rather than her hubby beating her Daddy had other ideas.

"You're going to flog her Baby Girl." I looked around the room to each of them. Daddy said it very matter-of-factly. I had been talking about doing this. Looks like it was time to put up or shut up, ha!

Goddess stripped off her clothes and the men set up the table. We don't have a spanking bench here so at my house we use the kitchen table. Fortunately, Goddess is as tall as I am so it worked for her too. She had to spread her legs a bit which gave me more options to spank her.

Daddy gave me some instructions and told me her limits. I could not hit her on her back because of surgeries she's had. So I would focus my attention on her ass and thighs.

I began by caressing her. My fingers ran up her back and across her ass. She was beautiful laying there naked for me. Her skin was incredibly soft. Her sexy back and ass were mine to touch.

I put any nerves aside and began to decide how to do this. I had all Daddy's past play in my mind. I knew what felt good for me and Goddess is similar so I knew it was just a matter of me learning how to do it.

I began with the crop. It was the crop that feels less stingy than others so I knew it was a safe bet. I tapped her on the ass and thighs gauging the feel and her reactions. I began too light. I began to work a little harder with each round. I looked over at Daddy for reassurance. He used his hand to imitate a faster tapping. That's right, I thought, he does use fast light taps to warm the skin.

I changed my technique to continue faster as he had motioned. Then when her skin seemed warmer I gave her some heavier swats. She jumped with each one. How fun!

Now I picked up the small flogger that Daddy made for me. I wanted more control so I held it on the end rather than using the finger holds. I tested how to hit her ass at the right angle without sliding off. I kept flogging her…correcting my angle and hold when Daddy pointed it out. All the while I caressed her warm body while I flogged her. I was beginning to love this.

I raked my nails over her ass and thighs. I rubbed my hand up along her inner thigh. I knew Daddy would touch my pussy at this point because I'd be aching for it. I wanted to touch hers but didn't know how far I should go. She seemed to like all I was doing though I think I was too light in general. First time timidity, you know.

I moved to the heavy buffalo flogger. It packs quite a wallop. I had to learn how to flogg with such a heavy instrument. I loved it though. Daddy showed me how to stand and angle the falls across her ass. I loved the physicality of swinging that flogger. I loved the way it made Goddess jump and how her ass moved with the reverberation of the strike. That is so hot to watch.

I should have flogged her thighs more I realize now. Daddy had recently caned and tawsed my thighs and the memory of that pain made me shy away from inflicting the same on her. It was my first time flogging her, your understanding of a person grows each time.

I finished with the tawse. The two straps of leather with a space in-between makes for a stingy sensation. I only used this a bit but it brought out some nice red marks on her ass. Yay.

Afterwards, I ran my hands all over her back and ass. I caressed her hair and helped her up. I got yummy hugs from her and got to cuddle her on the couch. Yay for aftercare, my favorite!

Thank you Goddess for being my first real victim! ❤️❤️