Yes, yes, yes!

On By Enigmatic AmorIn Domination, Master5 Comments

Daddy is home soon, very soon. He texted from the airport:

I want you in a visceral way. To devour you. I need to see the panic in your eyes as I grip your throat and slam my cock into you. To leave marks on your flesh and your soul. I have a need upon me and I want you.

Here is what you will do. You will shower and shave preparing for my inspection. You will prepare me a drink and a water and place them by the bed. You will put on make-up for Master and then don your collar. When I arrive you will be on your back in the middle of my bed in the Sula position. You will install the butt plug and play with your sex. You may NOT come. You will be ready for me.

When I arrive you will not say a word. Your hands will be placed palms up on the bed and remain there. I will do as I wish.

Master is coming home.

Holy crap! Life is good! Master is coming home, Master is here!

I’m waiting in bed, time to do as I was told. I’ll fill you in later.

Whoop! Yes!

Up All Night

On By Enigmatic AmorIn Daddy, Fear, Life, Rambling3 Comments

I was told to write yesterday and I failed. It was a truly challenging day with my son. The past few months of the teen years have been almost more than I can handle. He has some emotional problems and I’m spending a lot of time managing his doctors and treatments and, well, it’s really hard. He had anxiety all day yesterday. It was different in that most days there is an episode or challenges but not a whole days worth of it.

Daddy and I had a great adult weekend last weekend. We had time to play. Even though his knee has been hurting him, he still set out all the toys and took care of me. He is so good to me.

I know he wants to hear my thoughts on that play. He was leaving on a plane and sent me a text stating that I must write for him. Not that I had to write something specific but that it had to be yesterday. I accepted the order. I knew he was doing it for me after all. Over the last few months, I’ve realized the submissive part of our relationship is much more something I wanted and not so much something he craved. I think it is fun for him but not necessary.

Daddy wasn’t here to see how all consuming my son was throughout the evening. I ended up falling asleep with my son tucking me in and going back to his room. He was finally calm and I was out. I completely lost focus of Daddy’s command.

In the morning, I woke to Daddy being very upset with me…disappointed, he texted. I broke. The man gives me one command in months and I failed completely. He may not need a submissive but I know he wants me to write. He drops pointed comments often enough that I know how he misses it. I felt my heart drop to my feet. I love him so much and yet I can’t do a simple thing when he asks.

I didn’t even know how to respond. You can’t make proper amends by apologizing again for a repeated bad behavior. Who cares to hear that? No one.

So, here I am writing. I spent my one night alone in the house cleaning everything I never have time to clean. I’m so tired of not getting those things done. It was cathartic. At least the place smells better.

So, one thing at a time. Today I write, tomorrow I’ll sleep.

Good Morning

On By Enigmatic AmorIn Back Story, Hello2 Comments

I know, I have been gone a loooong time. Vanilla life has taken over. Mr. D and I are both so busy with work and I’m now homeschooling my son. It doesn’t make for a hot bed of scintillating storytelling.

He and I both miss it. We need a way back to having time for us. I know it can be done, I’m just not sure of the steps yet. I feel like using AA slogans. One day at a time. Fake it ’til you make it. Is a lagging D/s dynamic an appropriate life issue to quote AA? Doubtful.

We did have a couple sessions when we went on a weekender to say goodbye to Frenchie. I got spankings for my birthday. Mr. D made me count by 7’s to get my total spankings. I’ll let you decide what age is divisible by seven. Ha!

Mr. D has been making a case for me to carry my new floggers and my old ones, one pair he bought me and one pair he made for me. I think about practicing with them and using them on some willing victim. Yes, I’m submissive but I think with practice I could ride the middle line a bit. A little switching in my future? Yes, maybe so.

For all this, time will tell.

Moving On

On By Enigmatic AmorIn Back Story, Life2 Comments

My girlfriend Frenchy has left for France. She lived with us for five months. It was a great time and I’m so so happy we had the time together. She and I lived together many years ago when we were both single and in our twenties. Time flies and here we are at the end of our forties saying goodbye.

I owe Daddy a huge thank you for allowing her to stay with us. He really knew very little about my Frenchie when she moved in but he let her move in with us (to the detriment of our sex life) and I’m so very grateful. They became friends and I’m so happy they did.

My Frenchie can be a whirlwind of fun and spunk. She’s tall and thin and full of life most days. Other days she’s sad and vulnerable and needs love and hugs. Daddy was such a good thing for her in the final months of her saying goodbye to her American life.

My girl was the best roomie. I knew she would be but still she surpassed my expectations. She’s always been one to do more than her part. Aside from being my counterpart with dishes and chores she also helped us buy many things for our new home together. She took the guest’s rule of ‘leave a place better than you found it’ to the next level.

I will always cherish our time together. Much love goes with her on her travels. Hopefully, Daddy and I gave her what she needed to be strong and enjoy the next part of her journey.

Plan B

On By Enigmatic AmorIn LifeLeave a comment

My Ex always had a Plan B. It had something to do with driving away from all his troubles to go live off the land or have a farm of his own away from the terrible land of Corporations, Big Pharma, the dreaded Government and other various and sordid demons.

This is not that. I had a job interview. Then another. Then several with many team members. It looked good. Not exactly what I wanted to do but it was in my industry and it was a lot more money. As a ‘don’t focus on me, I’m not the important thing here’ submissive I’m not great at asking for what I want. After 10+ years at my current post with only two raises in all that time, a new job with more pay sounded great.

So, I guess I’m at Plan B now. The job went to someone else. I love my current job so I’m not that dejected but I was starting to look forward to something new. Is Plan B looking for actual open positions now? Maybe. The one I just lost was rather foisted at me. I hadn’t been looking. Funny how something you didn’t want and hadn’t asked for turns into something you’re a little bummed to lose.

So, feeling a little down. Nothing major just meh.

Here and Gone

On By Enigmatic AmorIn Horny, LifeLeave a comment

Well, Mr. D’s mom was here and just as quickly she is back home. I thought it was a nice visit. She and I got to know each other a bit. I liked her very much and I think she liked me as well.

Interestingly, his mom looks very like mine had looked. They are quite similar in facial features and build. My Dad remarked on it.

So, nothing fun or on blog topic to report. Though we did finally have sex last night. Daddy was sure I was dying of a cough but I must have convinced him sex would help clear my lungs, lol. Anyway, it was short but needed. I savored every second.

He didn’t much buy my comment that daily sex would cure me, but one can always try. Right? 😉

Daddy Knows Best

On By Enigmatic AmorIn LifeLeave a comment

Well, sex night was a bust with Daddy telling me to go to sleep. I guess he didn’t want to do dirty things to me while I’m coughing as much as I am. Pout pout lol. That’s why he’s the man in charge. He cares for my well-being.

His mom is coming into town today. I have never met her before so I’m slightly nervous, in a good way. I hope she likes us and enjoys the visit. We’ll be in entertainment mode for her over the weekend.

I may write later again today but maybe not. Lots of thoughts rumbling around but I figured I should at least update you on the sex or no sex situation.

Ciao for now!

Sex Night!

On By Enigmatic AmorIn Choice, Denial, Desire, HornyLeave a comment

Does it matter that my son doesn’t get picked up until 7pm? Nope!

Does it matter that I’m still on my period? Nope!

Does it matter that I’m sick and breathing is a challenge? Heck No!

It’s kid-free night!

I’m exhausted but damn it, I’m going to have 5 fucking minutes of fucking alone time fucking with my Honey. That’s right!

My roommate has been gone for days and she’s going to walk in the fucking minute my son leaves the house, but do I care? Fuck no!

Deal with it people, I get to have sex tonight!

Wooo!!!!!!!!

One Day – Today

On By Enigmatic AmorIn Back Story, LifeLeave a comment

I am headed back to work today from checking on my son and running a couple errands.  The life of a mom and wife is one of many small things. My son is going through a very hard time with school.  Dialing him in to this new phase of his life is proving challenging for me.  I worry about him and am doing all I can to get him back to being successful and fulfilled.

Alternatively, Daddy and I are doing well at having our lives merged back together.  We’re running errands together, doing projects on the weekends, and I do my best to cook dinner or plan dinner most nights. Daddy helps by smoking or BBQing meat on the weekend.  Adding a roommate and my son to our joined lives has taken a toll on our sex life but I think the married life part is working well.

My work and Daddy’s work have both ramped up in the last several months.  He has finished up his last position (mostly) and is moving into his new one. He is sometimes buried, sometimes stressed and sometimes elated at how they are receiving him and acknowledging his work.  Generally, he is taking it all in stride and I’m doing my best to support him as I can.

I may take a new job.  It would be more pay, but I love what I do and where I do it.  It concerns me to move positions when my son is going through issues. We’ll see.

The lifestyle…well, it will come back.  God, I hope it will.  I have faith, mainly because I want it so badly and I know Daddy does too.  It binds us together.  It draws the best from us.  It lights us on fire.

Patience girl, patience.

Good Morning

On By Enigmatic AmorIn Domination, Exhibitionism, SubmissiveLeave a comment

So, what to write while we’re living the Vanilla Life? I’ve been thinking about writing about lifestyle things like Sub vs Slave or What’s the Difference Between a Good 1950’s Wife and a Submissive?

I’m over this not-writing thing. I miss writing. I miss a lot but writing is essential to my being and I haven’t been doing it. I need the outlet. So, I’ll wing it until something good comes along. I’ve been keeping up with my no-porn masturbation.

I had the strangest fantasy the other night while masturbating. Mr. D ordered me to strip in front of some friends. This part had actually happened. That was the real life anchor. After that I strayed into fantasy as the girls in the scene tweaked and played with my nipples until I came for Daddy. I love, love, love nipple play. But with two women I am not attracted to? I guess it was a take back to a time Daddy made me feel intensely submissive. It also helped that there was some exhibition involved.

So, that’s it for now. A short bit sweet hello. Talk with you soon, I hope!