Why is it when I’ve had a trying day that I want Him? I want him to hold me and love me. Also, though, I want him to beat me. I want the pain to bloom across my ass. I want the rushing heat to banish any other thought. I want the world beyond his reach to cease. I want to feel and live for only him.

That is what I want.


Merry Christmas to Me

A post from Daddy:

Home, Honey-dos, new house, Holidays, kid, and roommate….  Doesn’t make for many opportunities to demand Service.  Last night My Slut and I had alone time for the first time in a very long time.  We worked long and hard on the house preparing for company and the Holidays and after said day we turned in.   She massaged my legs with lotion, I asked her if she wanted a spanking and she said she always wanted a spanking.

I told her to remove her pants and lay face down on the bed.   I laid across her legs at the knees and massaged her ample ass.   Warming to my touch I kissed it and started to lightly tap her bum.  Rapid tapping ensued though not hard.  Still warming and alternatively rubbing to excite the flesh.  Her ass was glowing warm and I slapped her ass and rubbed away the sting.  Over and Over and Over I slapped and rubbed, eliciting gasps and moans equally.  I was as mesmerized by the gasps as her moans.  My cock was hard and dripping pre-come.    I used my fingertips to circle and trace the curves of her ass and dug my fingers into her back.

I spanked her – needing her gasps and squeals as she hugged the pillows.  I was not gentle but was not completely unkind in my ministrations.  Her ass stung and she squirmed.  I wanted her.  I always want her but I needed her.  I pulled my palm paddle and told her to count.  One Daddy, the sting was intense.  Two Daddy, face in the pillow.  Three Daddy, I could her hear tears.  Four Daddy, Eight Daddy, and Ten Daddy and I heard her relief just before I gave the Eleventh…   On it went.  She held it together but barely and when I gave her number twenty she was putty.   I shook off the paddle and caressed her with my fingertips.  Then rubbed her ass vigorously.

I shifted and demanded she open her legs.  Lift your ass I commanded and she did.  I spit on her puckered chocolate star and buried my face and tongue in her ass.  She was bucking.  I slid a finger in her sex and my tongue in her ass.  She begged for me to fuck her.

Roll over I said and I tongued her clit.  Licking it hard and in long strokes followed by tender touches and the tip of my tongue.  I could not wait another second and I slammed my cock into her!   She cooed.  Her eyes were in the back of her head and I was slowly pulling from the depths of her sex as her hands pulled at me to pound her again.  I slowly took what was rightfully mine and dared her to challenge me.  Our eyes met and we were one.  Not in some corny BS way – we were in the moment and all I ever wanted was in her eyes.

We rutted again and it was hard and animalistic and I quickly filled her with my come.  I was sated; wrapped in her embrace and basking – I was finally home.  Truly home with my Baby Girl, My Slut, and My Muse.  Merry Christmas to me.

Write or Perish

Our D/s part of our relationship has waned. It’s a matter of stressors and too many people in our home. We have no alone time to speak of. So, we have urgent but attemptedly quiet sex for the most part.

It didn’t feel like I should write about that. It isn’t the most passionate situation to write about. With my son and my best friend in the rooms next to ours, we are hampered. We have two more months of no free time to go. I love my friend and am so grateful Daddy has allowed me to have her in our home for this short stay, still…it’s hard. I have felt like our kink was perfunctory and our lifestyle gone. But I need to write about this struggle so that something of our lifestyle lives on in the now.

Daddy did something so incredibly sexy yesterday. He set up a rig out back with zip-tied cuffs on a punching bag frame. Everyone in the home was gone for about an hour. He cuffed me in with my arms over my head. He told me, I’d be whipped publicly for all to hear. It was in our new back yard. My heart skipped a beat. I was nervous but god I wanted this. As he pulled down my pants so my thong and ass were showing, I looked around us. Our new but annoyingly vocal neighbor’s upstairs window looked right down on us. I was concerned. Even as Daddy started to spank me, I despaired. We had just moved in and I didn’t want trouble.

He rubbed my ass and said, “You are nervous but I know you’re excited too. I’m so hard already.” Damn it, for that window! I wanted this so fucking badly. He took the flogger to me then. The sting felt so good, so welcome but I couldn’t stop stressing about the damned neighbor.

Daddy sensed I was too quiet so he checked in with me. I told him about the neighbor’s windows and my fears. After a minute he took me down and we put the fun toys away. At least we took my private collar and the cuffs up to our room. The whole toy bag has been in the garage since we moved in here two months ago.

Daddy’s shoulder was hurting him anyway so in hindsight I’m glad we didn’t continue, he would have been in a lot more pain. Trying to eek a kinky lifestyle out of a family life is no laughing matter. We both want it. Fuck, yes, we do. We’re just not having much success at the moment.

Time Begins Again

It’s like I’ve been in a coma. I’ve been submerged in Vanilla life. Moving, parenting, more moving, unpacking, cleaning, feeding people, walking dogs, all that BS.

Mr. D has been home two nights since moving back from Texas. Both nights I’ve been sore and exhausted. My body is beat up from moving and boxes. But I still wanted him. The first one we fucked. Short and sweet but a reconnection. Then he was gone the weekend.

Last night again, tired and sore but needy. I was need for him.

“What do you want slut?” He asked.

“I want Daddy to fuck me.” I replied.

“How do you ask?” He asked.

“Please fuck me Daddy.” Simple and direct.

“Hands flat on the bed.” I complied. God, how my heart sang with that command.

Except. I had to oust the dog from the bed. Then I couldn’t move without pain so used my hands as leverage and grabbed one of his in error.

“What did I say?” Crap, I had disobeyed.

“To keep my hands on the bed.” No use justifying my actions. I disobeyed.

“Use those hands to present your breasts.” I held them together for him high and tight.

“Count.” Damn, he really means it and he knows the counting adds another element.

Ten strikes altogether. Five on each breast. The pain, the fucking, in tandem. God, I was in heaven.

Pain that wasn’t my rebellious body. Pain for us, pain for Him. Fuck, I was finally home. Time begins again.


We are both in the middle of packing and moving. Life is too much and too busy right now. In quieter moments, I think about how we will be together soon. How we will live together. In those moments I ache for him. I want to kneel for him, I want to honor him and serve him. I want to be his baby girl.

Only during the times he is on my mind do I feel my desire and need. It’s like a faucet that is off but when I turn it on a flood comes out. I ache, I twist and bend with the thoughts I have of serving his desires.

I want to be his plaything again. I want to be his arm candy and his slut. I want to feel his eyes devouring me and his body on mine. I want to be his wanton toy, his sex doll.

Damn, I want so much.

Baby did a bad bad thing

Baby Did a Bad Bad Thing

I went out with a co-worker to a Gala recently. Daddy said to send him pictures of us. My friend arrived late and we walked into the Gala in the midst of it so I didn’t send pictures until we were able to take them at the end of the night. Daddy was not happy. I made him wait all evening for what he asked for. He told me I would be punished. I felt horrible for making him wait.

“You will put in one of your plugs and play with yourself. Bring yourself almost to orgasm three times today. You will not come. You made me wait so now you will wait. Do you understand slut?”

I told him I did. I have a new plug with a jewel in the end. It is very bulbous with a short neck. I hadn’t worn it before. I lubed it then knelt beside the bed to insert it. That plug was so round and I hadn’t put anything in my ass in a long time. It was a struggle but it finally popped in. It stretched me and was very tight.

I laid in bed naked. I played with my nipples until they were nice and hard. Then I caressed down my belly to my pussy. I tickled the edges drawing out the sensations. I thought of Daddy fucking me with his hand on my throat. I imagined him calling me all sorts of vile things while he fucked me. My body responded, arching under my hand. My fingers strummed my clit hard and fast. I was so, so close. I felt my gut tighten and my legs begin to shake then I stopped.

Panting and coming down from the high of almost coming, I texted him that I had one down, two to go. I waited some time in-between. I didn’t want to come when I wasn’t supposed to and doing it again so soon would make that a risk

I began again. I tugged on the plug. It was so tight. When I pulled on it I could feel the bulb stretching me. I ran my fingers up the outer ring of lips from my ass to my clit. I shivered from the sensations that it brought. I closed my eyes and thought of many things to get my libido going again. Daddy fucking me. Then Daddy fucking someone else with me watching. Then two women fucking. My mind was all over the place, I couldn’t settle it. I kept rubbing my clit. I decided to forget the images, they weren’t working. I kept rubbing my clit and focused on the feelings. My body tingled, my clit was swollen, I tugged on the plug again. I love that feeling.

Finally, my body began to respond. Fuck my mind, we were doing this anyway. I felt the waves and little spasms start and then I stopped touching myself. Damn, I wanted to come! I texted Daddy and this time went right back to my punishment. If it took so long to get going the second time, I didn’t want to wait for the third. Plus, I was in serious need now. I was in the ‘fuck the consequences’ phase of this exercise. My need was in the lead.

I touched myself again. I touched my clit, too sensitive. So, I started with my nipples. I rubbed them hard. I punished them with pain. Ooo, the pain. I wanted Daddy’s pain, I ached for his dominance. I wanted to serve his craven desires.

I pictured myself kneeling before him. “Table.” He said. I put my hands on the carpet and leveled out my back to present myself as a table for him. I was nothing, just furniture. He was sitting on the couch. I didn’t know what he did or thought as I kneeled there, I was is object. Someone touched my ass. I couldn’t look but somehow I knew it was his best friend El Jefe.

“Go ahead, what’s mine is yours.” I heard Daddy say. His voice was dismissive. I felt a cock thrust inside me. I felt Daddy there, his presence holding me in place. His eyes watching me take it. And just like that, I was at the edge of coming. Fuck.

I stopped and texted Daddy that my punishment was complete. I wouldn’t make him wait again.

Coming Home

When last I wrote, Mr. D had just gotten a new position and would be transferred home. So far, we have found a new place to live and we’ll move in at the end of the month.

Mr. D is being completely overworked right now. He has the current job and the new job responsibilities together. I worry for him being stressed and tired. I’m glad we found a place so I can make his arrival easier.

I have been preoccupied myself with work, packing and house-hunting. Our D/s lifestyle has gone completely out the window. There is no time for such things in the midst of all this upheaval. I know we will find our center again but for now it’s buried in details.

I would love to say that my submission is so ingrained that I use it in these times of disarray. But, honestly, it has deserted me. The manager me has taken over. I long for the days, a month hence, when I can put the mantle of responsibility aside and kneel before him naked and in service to his needs.