Why Write?

I’ve been asking myself this a lot lately. It is a clear sign that I have writer’s fatigue. Right at this moment I don’t have a burning desire to write. When this happens I struggle with it. I want to write but it’s like slogging through mud in fishing boots.

I mentioned this to a friend I used to blog with back in the day. He said that perhaps I need more immediate feedback and that’s true. When I blogged on places like Yahoo 360 and Multiply there were whole communities of bloggers and it felt like Home. We riffed off each other’s writing and it was fun. I see that happening for many on this site but I haven’t been able to scratch the surface much. I am sporadic at times and this does not build a social group. Plus, WordPress is a classic blogging site rather than a social platform.

Perhaps, it’s that I’m writing about real life now instead of my fantasies. I’ve written two different blogs in the past. They were family-based or kink lifestyle-based in some fashion. I would bounce up and down the scale of dedication to both. Real life blogging is a unique type of storytelling. You actually need some real event to write about. You can’t tell a pithy or anecdotal story if nothing interesting happened that day. If you force it then it simply becomes FaceBook. This isn’t that.

My lifestyle blog in the past was about how I wanted to learn about the lifestyle. It was a good chunk of exploration with fantasy peppered throughout. Now I write about the lifestyle I currently live. It’s been suggested that I write some fantasy again. Ok.

But if someone is coming to a reality-based kink lifestyle blog do they really want to hear my fantasies? Maybe or maybe not.

What really irks me to no end and I’m sure bothers my Dominant is we’ve had some amazing scenes, one in particular, that I haven’t written. Every time I go over the events in my mind I can’t summon the words to do it justice. So, I get down on myself and that dampens the process further.

All this has been rumbling around in my mind while steaming hot scene writing has escaped me. Your thoughts are welcome.

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High and Lows

I've noticed I go through highs and lows. Maybe it's hormones maybe I just miss Daddy. I don't know what it is. I just notice the cycle.

Right now is the low. I feel it cover me like a cloying blanket. I drag myself out of bed, drag myself to work, then I work like a fiend because I let work dominate my soul like that while I'm there.

Afterwards, I drag home and sit on the couch. Tonight, I have no child to care for so it's either easier or harder, I haven't decided. Easier, because when he's here I must care for him. Harder, because he distracts me with his teen all consuming everything, which is helpful.

Blah blah blah. No one wants to hear this. I don't even want to write it. I think it's only valuable as a journal-writing exercise that will hopefully vent the pent up steam. Masturbating every damned night ain't doin' it.

Girl Play

When Daddy came to visit he brought many of his toys with him. He brought two floggers, a crop, a tawse and El Jefe and Goddess. Not only did I get Daddy for a visit but they came out to see us at the same time. I was a lucky girl!

We all had a perfect weekend together. We visited and relaxed, we went out to eat and stayed in to cook. On Sunday night we had play time. Goddess likes a good flogging just as much as I do. Rather than her hubby beating her Daddy had other ideas.

"You're going to flog her Baby Girl." I looked around the room to each of them. Daddy said it very matter-of-factly. I had been talking about doing this. Looks like it was time to put up or shut up, ha!

Goddess stripped off her clothes and the men set up the table. We don't have a spanking bench here so at my house we use the kitchen table. Fortunately, Goddess is as tall as I am so it worked for her too. She had to spread her legs a bit which gave me more options to spank her.

Daddy gave me some instructions and told me her limits. I could not hit her on her back because of surgeries she's had. So I would focus my attention on her ass and thighs.

I began by caressing her. My fingers ran up her back and across her ass. She was beautiful laying there naked for me. Her skin was incredibly soft. Her sexy back and ass were mine to touch.

I put any nerves aside and began to decide how to do this. I had all Daddy's past play in my mind. I knew what felt good for me and Goddess is similar so I knew it was just a matter of me learning how to do it.

I began with the crop. It was the crop that feels less stingy than others so I knew it was a safe bet. I tapped her on the ass and thighs gauging the feel and her reactions. I began too light. I began to work a little harder with each round. I looked over at Daddy for reassurance. He used his hand to imitate a faster tapping. That's right, I thought, he does use fast light taps to warm the skin.

I changed my technique to continue faster as he had motioned. Then when her skin seemed warmer I gave her some heavier swats. She jumped with each one. How fun!

Now I picked up the small flogger that Daddy made for me. I wanted more control so I held it on the end rather than using the finger holds. I tested how to hit her ass at the right angle without sliding off. I kept flogging her…correcting my angle and hold when Daddy pointed it out. All the while I caressed her warm body while I flogged her. I was beginning to love this.

I raked my nails over her ass and thighs. I rubbed my hand up along her inner thigh. I knew Daddy would touch my pussy at this point because I'd be aching for it. I wanted to touch hers but didn't know how far I should go. She seemed to like all I was doing though I think I was too light in general. First time timidity, you know.

I moved to the heavy buffalo flogger. It packs quite a wallop. I had to learn how to flogg with such a heavy instrument. I loved it though. Daddy showed me how to stand and angle the falls across her ass. I loved the physicality of swinging that flogger. I loved the way it made Goddess jump and how her ass moved with the reverberation of the strike. That is so hot to watch.

I should have flogged her thighs more I realize now. Daddy had recently caned and tawsed my thighs and the memory of that pain made me shy away from inflicting the same on her. It was my first time flogging her, your understanding of a person grows each time.

I finished with the tawse. The two straps of leather with a space in-between makes for a stingy sensation. I only used this a bit but it brought out some nice red marks on her ass. Yay.

Afterwards, I ran my hands all over her back and ass. I caressed her hair and helped her up. I got yummy hugs from her and got to cuddle her on the couch. Yay for aftercare, my favorite!

Thank you Goddess for being my first real victim! ❤️❤️

Wallowing

I have a couple favorite images I've evoked before to describe how I feel with Daddy. Touching him, being fucked by him, immersing myself in the experience of being with him are such hedonistic thrills for me.

When he dominates me and pulls me down into the raw sexual pleasure of our connection I'm like a hog rolling in slop. I want the smell of him on me. I want to rut and grunt while he takes all my body offers him. When we're done I feel sated and languorous in much the same way the hog would feel after a full trough of vittles.

When I've come down from sex with him I'm in a different world. Whether I found subspace or not I've been transported. Every nerve ending is awake. His grazing touch on my skin sends ripples of goose flesh across the canvas of my body.

I am also a shark feeding on chum. I swim through the blood and gore rolling in it to coat myself in the scent. I thrash and eviscerate all control I had to act as a lady. I debase myself in whatever sinful way he desires.

All these are meager ways to describe the feelings and sensations that blanket my body and soul when we connect. Our chemistry is like nothing I've ever experienced before.

New Orders

I was at work the Wednesday before last and Daddy began texting me. He was abrupt and a little demanding. I was wrapping up some work and just heading to lunch with a girlfriend who was waiting outside my office.

Slut. What are your plans this weekend? I may have an assignment for you.

I had absolutely no plans for the weekend coming up which I told him. Usually I have something planned but I was going into a full week without my son and was a little bereft at the idea.

Ok. Your assignment will be to take care of someone who needs attention. Can you do that for me? Can you step out on a limb and trust me that it will be a good thing? No sex is involved unless you show intent or desire but initially on your terms.

As I headed out to my waiting girlfriend I felt a little frazzled and now I had Daddy sending me to a complete stranger? What is this new task? Who was this person? It had to be someone I know…right?

"Will you do this for me baby?"

"Yes Daddy, I will."

"Nervous baby? Anxious?" I was. I had my girlfriend right there who is a chatterbox on a good day and while she was talking away my mind was completely distracted by Daddy's task.

"I thought you might be. Are you turned on at all? You didn't even ask if it's a male or female." He wrote.

I quickly replied that I would serve who ever he wanted me to serve, male or female. One, I trusted him and two, he said sex would be my choice.

All through lunch I wondered about this task of his. Who could it be? Would he really send me someone to please sexually?

He sent one final text during lunch, "I won't keep you then. But you will have to do better this weekend. I need the attention."

I quickly replied in the affirmative and finished lunch with my girlfriend. I usually do not look at my phone at all when with friends. I want to give our friendship my full attention but Daddy had me spun.

After lunch I saw a text that had probably been waiting for a long while. "I tell you I'm coming for the weekend and that's all I get?" Wait! What??

It was Daddy. He was the person he wanted me to serve. He was coming home for the weekend! I was so surprised and ecstatic. He had been playing a little prank on me. He had booked travel and had it all arranged. I am one lucky girl.

Forced Orgasm

Last month, when we were together at his place, he pushed me further than he had pushed me in a long time.

That weekend he made me cum four different times. This last one was harsh. He used his Hitachi full force on my clit. Prior to that we had played and played and played. My body was a finely tuned instrument by then. I quickly approached the edge but as typically happens for me, I plateaued.

I rush up to the edge of orgasm, everything fine and then a lull happens and my mind begins to work on me. I want this. I want to cum for him. Cum for Daddy. Don't fail him. You're failing him. Then it's a bloody damned miracle if I cum.

This time though his voice and his words took me out of it. "I'm going to teach you slut. You'll cum for me. Then I'll tie you up with that wand on your clit. You won't be able to escape. I'll go get something to eat and you'll be here with that vibe working you for hours. You can scream and cry and squirm but you'll cum for me over and over."

The thought of him torturing me like that sent me right over the edge. I came hard. I bucked and shook and cried out just like he said I would. Yet still he kept the vibrator pressed hard against my clit and I couldn't take it. The feeling of it pressed against my hypersensitive clit as I came made me lose my shit.

"Please Daddy, no!! Please stop! No Daddy, no more…please no more!" He kept it pressed on my spasming clit and the pain of it made me gasp and cry. Many women can't have their sex touched right after an orgasm, apparently I'm one.

He finally took the vibrator off my clit and my body, which had been clenched in a position completely raised off the bed, could let go. I collapsed and rolled into a ball.

I was so relieved he took the machine off my poor clit. My body kept spasming as I came down from that intense orgasm. I felt languorous and so relaxed. He came up on the bed and curled around me asking me if I was ok. I love where he takes me.