Vacation 


I am on vacation this week with my son. Mr. D is at home keeping the home fire burning.  I miss him.  I am having a lot of fun with my boy though.

I’ve never been overly emotional but when Mr. D woke me to kiss me goodbye I teared up.  We haven’t had to be apart at all since he moved in.  It surprised me to awaken to such feelings of loss.  I laid in bed after he left for work thinking about my responses to him.  It’s still new to me.  

I guess it is part and parcel of the baby girl he is cultivating in me.  I feel more vulnerable with him and yet safer.  Sometimes I resist it, sometimes I embrace it.  No matter how I respond, I know he has my heart.

Happy 2nd Anniversary

Happy 2nd Anniversary Daddy.  I love everything about our life together.  I’m so happy we are living together and are a family now. 

Every day gives me more reasons to love you and I feel so honored to be yours.  I am in awe of how easily our lives melded together this past week.  We were careful and waited for the boy for which I’m ever grateful.  I know beyond any doubt that I would have been by your side constantly after that first weekend if not for my responsibilities.  I am still so touched and awed by how you consider my needs and his in your choices and your thoughts.  

I’m never had a love that felt so right, so perfect.  I’ve never felt so as one with anyone in my life.  I am completely fulfilled being yours and fitting into the place that I call home on your chest, tucked under your protective arm.  

Everyone is made differently.  I do all I can to fit into what people need and want.  I care for them and love that care.  With you it is effortless.  I am whole in service to you and in love with you Daddy.  I’ve never before felt quite as comfortable as the me I am.   Your dominance encircles my submission and completes it.

I am ever intoxicated by you.  Your words are the source of a flame that burns ever more brightly the more we play and dance this erotic dance.  I feel your heat, it lights a passion in me that is so strong and palpable.  It is my air.  

You are my everything Daddy.  Happy Anniversary.

Happy

Daddy has been teaching at work this week so has gone in a little later than normal. This means he’s been leaving about the time I wake up normally. Unless I’m really tired, I wake up during his morning routine so I can be with him and say goodbye. What this has meant is that I’m up just a little early. This morning my son is off to school with his dad. I sat in bed and enjoyed the morning. I made coffee and masturbated thinking about the fun Daddy and I had last night. He had the evening planned and took advantage of me when I returned from dropping my son at his father’s. I’ll tell you more about last night in another post.

This morning was so nice. I feel like everything is right in my world. Daddy is home. I had a certain low level of tension resident in my mind constantly about him or my son. When I was with one, I’d wonder and worry just a little bit about the other. Are they okay? Are they happy today? Do they need me to x, y, or z? Typical ‘mom’ or ‘submissive’ cares and worries, I suppose, but it was always there. Daddy doesn’t like being alone and my son has issues with his father so either way, I worried a little. That’s life when you care about your loves.

This morning though, I still had those tethers out to both my men but the lines were quiet. I feel more at peace this morning knowing they are both with me now a majority of the time. Content and that all is good, everyone is okay, all my loves are taken care of for the moment.

I’ve noticed that tether since the minute my son was born. It was something I had not noticed until then, that constant care, that connection, that link to another person. I feel that with Daddy too. I’m not sure when in the past two years it grew but it is a thick, strong cable now.

Together

Mr. D moved in over the weekend. We’ve had a couple days of settling in.  We’re still unpacking things here and there but this week has generally been a slice of normal day-to-day life.  

My son is getting used to Mr. D being there everyday after school.  We’ve had family dinner each night and the consistency and routine of family time at the table is so defining.  With one child to feed and myself not a high priority, dinner was hit and miss at times.  I’d make something simple for the boy and he’d eat on the couch many an evening. He feels the change and I’m happy for it.  I love taking care of my new family. 

Evenings have been relaxed and enjoyable.  Mr. D gets up earlier then us so we’re finding a routine of adult time at his bedtime then I have solo time with my son afterwards for remaining homework and bedtime.  

It’s new to have sex in a tiny home with my teenager in the other room but we accomplished it one night so far.  It was quiet but still hot and needy.  One more variety to add to our repertoire. 

All-in-all it’s been a perfect first week together.

Pain Slut vs. Baby Girl

A few weeks ago Mr. D and I were having fun with his roommates. We were drinking.  We were sitting and talking and generally having a good time.  After a bit someone said, “Let’s do shots!” Oh boy, on a Sunday night this was not going to end well.  Out came the shot glasses.  Before I knew it I was drunk and ordering pizza because somewhere in my rum soaked psyche I knew we all needed something to offset the alcohol.

Being drunk for most people magnifies their normal preset behaviors and personality.  What that meant for me was I became even more enamored of Mr. D.  I was so horny for him and I made it increasingly known.  Every time I got up to refill drinks or go to the bathroom I leaned into him for kisses and to whisper my need of him in his ear.  

The tipping point, I think, was when I told him blatantly that I wanted him in my ass.  It had been a while.  We had tried recently but it hadn’t gone well so we stopped.  I was sure, in my inebriated state, that giving him my ass was the right choice.  Caution be damned!  I wanted him so bad and I wanted to give him what he craved.  I was so sure and completely committed to this that I saw no other outcome aside from the one I wanted. 

After pizza Daddy pulled me into the bedroom.  He bent me over the bed and told me he accepted my offer.  He spanked me barehanded and warmed my ass quite thoroughly.  Then his finger slid into my ass.  He worked that finger in and out once or twice then bent me over the corner of the bed.  The pain slut in me was in ecstasy.  Yes! My ass was hot from the spanking and he was going to take me the way he wanted, no questions, no checking in, just take what was his. 

Then he pushed inside me all at once.  One long swift stroke and his cock was buried balls deep in my ass.  The little girl in me reared her scared little head and cried out.  “No Daddy no!!”  I had no inhibitions left due to the alcohol, great, but I had no control either.  My duality of pain slut and baby girl were all jumbled together.  I couldn’t stop the vulnerable baby girl from whimpering even as I realized that my ass was fine.  It was really fast but I had accommodated him.  I needed to breathe and adjust to it but by the time I had that thought Daddy was pulling out. 

He laid on the bed next to me quietly.  I knew I had done wrong but couldn’t fix it.  “What’s wrong Daddy?  Are you okay?” I was nervous, I felt so bad.  I hadn’t wanted to upset him like that at all.  I realized right away that I’d fully engaged Protective Daddy and didn’t know how to fix it. 

“We’re fine baby girl, you didn’t do anything wrong.  I’m just in my head right now.”  I could see that. Engineer Daddy was dissecting the problem and figuring out what happened.  We laid there in silence.  I did my best to be quiet but what I desperately wanted was to shake him until he came back to me. “I should have stayed inside you and you probably would have been fine.”  He said. I nodded. We had come to the same conclusion but in our inebriated state it had taken us both too long to process the information.  

One thing I learned from this experience is that alcohol does not help play at all.  We know kink play when equipment is involved  must always be sober play for safety. But we were not using any tools, just ourselves. You’d think alcohol could loosen you up but with our level of play, even at its most basic, it was a liability.  

Another thing that keeps me thinking and rolling this evening around in my mind is how the lifestyle parts of my psyche work with his.  Mr. D has brought out a baby girl and a pain slut in me. Both are fairly new to my experience.  Of course they are not separate personalities but simply descriptors for the kinky aspects  of my personality. Strangely, they seem to be at odds sometimes. To be a pain slut, I need to quiet the scared little girl to some extent or else I set off Mr. D’s protectiveness and that takes over from his sadistic side.  

What a many faceted world it is we are traveling through.  I am thankful I am exploring it with him.  

Welcome Home

Our first night in our new home together was crazy busy and full of family.  My family was out from another state and all staying at my place.  We were set to move Mr. D’s belongings in the next day but today we were all enjoying family time.  The boys golfed and the girls had all the kids at the pool for the day. When everyone returned we had a barbecue.  It was fun, food and laughter all day. Finally all the family got on the road and we were left alone in our new home together.  Our place from now on.  Daddy would spend all his future days with me.  I felt so happy and yet so tired from the day.  

We got into our bed and both breathed a sigh of relief.  Finally, we could relax.  I didn’t expect sex that night, we were both exhausted.  We talked and snuggled.  At some point Daddy started playing with my nipple.  I felt a zing of electricity immediately from my nipple directly to my clit.  Suddenly, I wanted him and badly.  His mouth replaced his hand and began to suck my tiny rosette.  His fingers were caressing my chest and my belly, it was so tantalizing.  He sent chills all over my body with that feather touch.  

He moved between my legs and told me,”Spread her open.” As I held my sex open he did something new.  To follow the feather light touches on my skin he used feathery traces with his tongue on my sex.  Very soon I was close to exploding. I was panting and moaning, I couldn’t help myself.  This sensation he created inside me was fervent and undeniable.  

He climbed up my body like a mountaineer.  His lips wet with my juices, he kissed me with all his raw naked need.  I shared my own passion in that kiss.  Vulnerable and laid bare before him, I gave him all my desperate hunger in that kiss. 

“You are my dirty whore, aren’t you?”  I nodded and held onto him as his words sent sizzling fire through me.  Yes, I was his whore. I’d be anything and everything for him.

His cock was poised at my slit.  It absolutely twists me when he hesitates.  My breath caught in my throat with the waiting.  Then he thrust deep and buried himself inside me.  It was a joining like no other.  He fills me perfectly so that  we are one.  

As he began to fuck me he put his hand on my neck.  His grip is so strong, he has me completely in his control.  My eyes glaze over and I drift away into a place where he is my center.  His grip on me, his control over me are my world.  All I could sense and feel was his iron grip taking my air and his iron cock pummeling my soft wet pussy. 

His raspy voice full of power filled my ears.  “You are mine whore. Your sex is mine.  Your breath is mine.  You belong to me! You are mine forever now.”

He picked up the speed but let a little air back into my lungs at the same time.  He continued but in a voice full of admission, “And I am yours. I belong to you.”  His body stiffened and he came hard, thrusting his cock and his seed deep inside me.  As he slowed his hand released my neck and his throaty whisper touched me, “Welcome home baby girl.”

Mr. D’s telling.

Service

Mr. D has always written to me. Sometimes I’ve shared his writings here and sometimes not.  The unshared were more private writings. Recently, he began writing on his page here.  I’m sharing his post today because it touched me deeply but also as an introduction.

I hope you stop by his page to say hello or read.  Kindly, Amor

SERVICE

Service isn’t demeaning 

That goes for all servers

Socially people look down on servers 

A nameless hostess 

Accountable but snubbed 

Walked on 

Walked out on 

And treated poorly 

That’s in the vanilla world 

In our world they bear the brunt too 

They carry our marks and our secrets 

Our fears and mistakes 

They suffer in […]

https://misterdougtoyou.wordpress.com/2016/03/16/service/

Write

Daddy and I are in the midst of a fire storm of lust.  Lust is ephemeral, it ebbs and flows naturally but right now it is hot and palpable between us.  We are three days into some intense connection with no signs of a slow down.

Today we ran errands and had lunch.  We just returned and while he used the bathroom, I enjoyed a little rest on the bed checking up on social media. I’m dressed for Daddy today.  I have on black tights that have a sexy cross stitch up the leg, a black body suit with a low cut V-neck and a tiny Minnie Mouse skirt of polka dots.

He told me he’d be going out to enjoy a cigar and that we’d nap afterwards in preparation for our evening.  Relaxed and easy, I thought.  Until he started feeling my ass and thighs through the leggings.  He ran his hands over the slinky material then his teeth sank into my ass.  Damn, he drives me insane with need.  He bit and moved, bit and moved, the material of the leggings doing nothing to impede him or his teeth from making contact with my tender ass.  When he bit the sensitive meridian between ass and thigh I clearly yelped.  My body and mind reacted to him in a rush.

His hands moved up my back, pushing me into the bed.  Over and over, he pushed me down.  It felt divine.  I love him manhandling me.  He grabbed my hair at the back of my head and yanked me up from the bed. “You are a Goddess.  You turn me on.  You will take this energy and write for me.  Is that clear?”

“Yes,  yes Daddy.  I will.”

“Yes, you will.” He pulled down my pants and unsnapped the body suit.  His fingers pushed into my sex.  Damn, he sends wildfire through me with his touch.  He pumped his finger into my sex and then tasted my juices on him.  “Here, you need to taste this too.” His finger plunged in me again and was then presented to my lips.  I suckled as commanded.

He pulled down his jeans, he was standing near the bed.  He took a handful of my hair and pushed me towards him.  My lips wrapped around the dripping head of his cock.  I tasted him and moaned.  I tasted us together and ached to keep sucking him. He pulled away from me then.  “I’ll be back in a hour.  Write.”

Dedication

black-woman

I am dedicated to Daddy.  I want with all my heart to be all that he wants and needs in a submissive, a wife, a slave and a woman.  I hope that with everything I do that I honor my dedication to him, that I honor him in thought, word and deed.

This week I failed him.  I promised to write and I failed to do so.  He was away in Berlin and it would have been the best time to write for him.  To give him a taste of his home and his girl while he was so far away.  I failed him in that.  Why do I fail? My focus drifted to other things.  I was hyper-focused on cleaning out my closet.  I’m worried that we’ll not have enough room for all his things and mine when we move in together.  So, I took everything out of the one closet bit by bit and went through it.  I’m not nearly done.  I want to scan old photos so they will no longer take up space.  I want to make some photo albums of special photos.  I took out two years of filing I had avoided for too long.  I bought a filing cabinet and shredded and filed until there was nothing left but one organized cabinet. I did my taxes.

I was distracted from my main desire, to please Daddy. I know I get distracted.  I get tunnel vision on one task and other equally important tasks fall by the wayside. When Daddy asked for me to write, I wanted to write.  I knew I wanted to please him and I promised.  Still I didn’t write.  My muse felt so silent and cold. Daddy arrived home from Berlin and I was so happy I’d be able to see him.  He texted that he’d arrive and I was to wear a skirt and no panties.  He told me that I would feel his passion and his displeasure.  That I would be punished and asked if I knew why.  Oh, yes, I knew.  I knew very well.  He said, even though we would be having family time that he would find time during the evening to make me feel his heat and I would be punished. Even as I felt the guilt from my actions, my heart sang that he cared so much for me and for my writing.  I felt a wave of need for him so white hot.  Maybe I should be afraid of punishment but it feels like home, it feels like caring, it lets me know his desires and that our dynamic is important to him.

Silhouette is in the public domain

Family

I have a great family. I have siblings and parents that love me and all get along.  For that I am truly thankful.  They love and support me.  I always have them around me.  It is not this type of family about which I am writing today.  I am writing about the family you choose and who chooses you.  We are not related by blood or by marriage.  There are no genealogical ties that bind.  This family is all the more important because there are no seemingly ties.  There is no reason to call them family save one; we choose them for our own.

My family with Mr. D is bound by commonality and community. They are our friends and so much more than that.  We care for each other and love each other.  If one family member is in need, everyone helps them.  I have no experience with leather or kink families in the official sense.  I have no idea how that works.  But what we have feels like my sense of that.  We have shared some kinky experiences and don’t have to be secretive about who we really are.   I’m fairly new to having a kinky lifestyle outside the bedroom.  My career would be severely impacted if my kinky lifestyle was outed. So, having kink-accepting friends is huge.

Two of our family that I’ve written about drove out to see us a couple weekends ago. El Jefe and Coupe came out from Arizona.  We all met at a local friend’s home to enjoy a BBQ and hang out together.  The boys smoked cigars outside and we talked, ate, drank and enjoyed a nice evening together on the patio.

What strikes me as purely awesome is that during the evening I could snuggle up to whoever would let me. Mr. D knows I’m his and allows me to be me.  I wanted to snuggle up to Coupe, because he’s welcoming and handsome and really, any woman would want to snuggle up to him.  He’s a gentleman and so easy to be around. So, when people got up and a seat next to him was free I took advantage of his place on a loveseat and curled up with him.

Later in the evening we all moved inside to the living room. El Jefe and Coupe occupied the couch so I took a seat between them.  Mr. D was in a solo chair so I couldn’t get my hands on him easily.  I leaned over to El Jefe and was rewarded with him petting me while I snuggled up to him.  This man has the warmest big hands and you can feel how comfortable he is with touch. I’ll tell you, family that you are not actually related to is da’ bomb! I got to snuggle up to two hot men that are completely different while watching my Daddy flirt and banter with an attractive woman all night.  What could be better?

While I was sandwiched between these two men, Mr. D took my picture and sent it to me. He said I was a slut.  His slut, I replied.  So, after a night of cozy fun I got to go home with my man, my Dominant.  Life is so very good.