A Prayer For Submission

Disturb me, my Master, when I am too well pleased with myself; when my dreams have come true because I have dreamed too little; when I have arrived safely because I have only sailed along the shore.

Disturb me, my Master, when with the abundance of the stresses I endure, I have lost my thirst for the dark passions of life.

Stir me, my Master, to dare more boldly, to venture on wider seas, where storms will show your mastery; where losing sight of land, I shall find the stars.

I beg you to push back the horizons of my hopes and to push me into the future in strength, courage, and love. 

Open my heart to the love instilled there. My Master loves me tenderly. What he owns is to be kept under lock and key or to be shared as is his wish.

The more I hold back the less I will experience. The more I share, the more I will know service. Let me ask Him, when it comes to asking for something, to help me to be willing.

Empty Days, Full Nights

Freedom awaits

Alone together

Cloistered with Him

Disruptions ceased
 

Walking the tether

His dominance beckons

Aching with a fervor

Desire paramount
 

His will not mine

Mists of sinewy need

Bind and ensnare

Breathless distraction
 

Debased and supplicant

Throbbing and yearning

Petitioning to serve

Whore for pleasure
 

Emotion flourishes

Pain blossoms

Monster unleashed

Exalted in torture

 
Please, I pray

Take, I beg

Use, I entreat

Your will, I serve

Happy

Daddy has been teaching at work this week so has gone in a little later than normal. This means he’s been leaving about the time I wake up normally. Unless I’m really tired, I wake up during his morning routine so I can be with him and say goodbye. What this has meant is that I’m up just a little early. This morning my son is off to school with his dad. I sat in bed and enjoyed the morning. I made coffee and masturbated thinking about the fun Daddy and I had last night. He had the evening planned and took advantage of me when I returned from dropping my son at his father’s. I’ll tell you more about last night in another post.

This morning was so nice. I feel like everything is right in my world. Daddy is home. I had a certain low level of tension resident in my mind constantly about him or my son. When I was with one, I’d wonder and worry just a little bit about the other. Are they okay? Are they happy today? Do they need me to x, y, or z? Typical ‘mom’ or ‘submissive’ cares and worries, I suppose, but it was always there. Daddy doesn’t like being alone and my son has issues with his father so either way, I worried a little. That’s life when you care about your loves.

This morning though, I still had those tethers out to both my men but the lines were quiet. I feel more at peace this morning knowing they are both with me now a majority of the time. Content and that all is good, everyone is okay, all my loves are taken care of for the moment.

I’ve noticed that tether since the minute my son was born. It was something I had not noticed until then, that constant care, that connection, that link to another person. I feel that with Daddy too. I’m not sure when in the past two years it grew but it is a thick, strong cable now.

Power On

We live our lives and it’s good. We’re joining our lives more and more. I went to an event with Mr. D and met more of his friends. We had a relaxing and fun time. We had a little drunk time too. All good fun. All vanilla fun for the most part.

Thursday night, he spent the night at my place. We’re moving in together this weekend and I was feeling stressed about space for everything so I wanted him to come and game plan the move with me. We didn’t really end up doing that but we had a nice dinner and we waited for my brother to stop by to pick up some things. In general, a normal vanilla evening.

I was on my period, it had just started. Talk about the worst timing. Well, we’d had months of it falling during the week when I wasn’t with him, so, all’s fair I guess. He told me, “Well then, I guess your ass is mine tonight.” I felt the usual wave of nervous trepidation that comes over me when I know butt sex is imminent.  

Daddy is large and more importantly has some serious girth to his package. Anal is a hurdle. One that no one else has surmounted for him so I’m proud to serve him that way. Still, it’s a hurdle.

We cuddled on the bed. He gripped my neck and his dominance wrapped itself around me in all its power. Fuck, I love that. It’s like air. Air that I need to survive. I don’t realize it’s missing until it’s there again. Then, I breathe it in. I expand and I feel my wings unfurl. My God, the feel of it on me is like no other presence I’ve ever experienced. I crave him, I meld with him, I belong to him like no other.

“You, my little cumwhore, you are going to get either the large or the medium butt plug and you’re going to put it in your fine ass. Then you will get between my legs and worship my cock. Do you understand?”

“Yes, Daddy.” I croaked out the words around his tightening hand.

“What are you?” His words rumbled over me. His mouth on my cheek.

“Your cumwhore Daddy.” I shuddered and bathed myself in his power.

“That’s right. Now go.” He released my throat and I coughed from the sudden availability of air. My throat was scratchy and stuck together from his grip. I found the medium plug and the lube. I lubed the plug well and brought it back to the bed. I squatted right next to the bed so my eyes were level with his and worked the plug into my tight, unprepared ass. I closed my eyes briefly as I felt the bulb stretch me and pop inside. I looked up at him when it was done.

“Nicely done little girl. Now get to work.” I love feeling his pride. I love doing things in a way that serves his lust. I knelt between his legs. 

“May I Daddy?” I must ask permission first. I had gotten in trouble earlier for not asking permission. Even though I was ordered to the task, I asked.

“Good girl, yes, you may.” I sucked his cock in my mouth. I savored the taste and feel of him. I felt him grow and harden in my lips and my throat. I took him in as far as I could, pushing myself ever deeper each stroke. His words taunted me as I worked.

“You are a good cumwhore. I’m going to take that ass. I’m going to sink myself deep in your tight hole. Do you want that?” I nodded while my mouth was full of cock.
He grabbed my hair and forced his cock all the way down my throat. 

“Take it, take it. Yes! Oh yes, good slut.”

“On your side, knees up, head at the corner of the bed.” All the while I had sucked his cock, the plug had worked inside me. I felt it loosening and moving inside the whole time. It was quite erotic. He grabbed the plug and pulled it out then he was on me. His body pushed up behind me and his hard cock found it’s way to my tight, prepared asshole.

He thrust slowly and was easily inside me. I was surprised how easy it was this time. Usually, I panic and we stop then we continue again until we fit together. There was none of that this time. He slid right in. He stopped and checked on me. I was ready for him. I wanted him to move. He began to move slowly and soon he was fucking me hard and fast. The feel was intense and glorious. I heard myself moan. I gripped the bed sheets and rode the waves of pleasure as he took my ass over and over again.

I know I spoke to him. I’m not sure what I said exactly. I think I begged him to fill my ass. I wanted him to keep fucking me but I ached for his cum to fill me. It is such a dichotomy of need. Keep fucking but fill me, give me your cum! There is nothing like it. When he came inside my ass, oh it was like the 4th of July. Yes, I needed that so much. I needed him, I needed his dominance. I needed it all.

Fire

He lights a candle and holds it close.  The light is soft and lures me.  I bask in the glow.  Once he feels me respond to his subtle little flame, he adds more fuel.  

The brightness shines a light over my soul.  He looks ever so closely and sees all of me.  He sees what I want to show, he sees what I hide.  He finds my fears and notices the barriers of my walls. 

A flame thus ignites within me. I respond in kind to his beacon.  I quake in fear that he sees me, that he knows my every secret.  But his light continues to shine bright as day even though my sins are now exposed. 

I see now that he will not turn away.  He wants my sin, he wants my hidden terrors.  He wants my dirty, rotten imperfections.  I roll like a swine in mud.  He grants me freedom to be the basest of pitiful things.

His high beam of stark honesty and vision ignites.  He takes the clay before him and carves out the pure beast within.  His talons grip me, his voracious fire consumes me.  I burn, oh how I burn in his realm.

From the fire emerges a passion that seeks its match and finds it in him.  Red and tumultuous, hot and painful it engulfs us.  The flames lick and eat and take their fill.  The eager coals smolder and deprive me of all my air.

I pant and rut.  His fire turns me on a spit.  Every basted bit is lashed by his words and his tongue.  No reason allows me succor. My thoughts, my being,  the primordial spark of me bends to him.

He fears losing control.  I can’t help him with that.  All my heart and morbid desires want him to lose himself and break me.  Each speck of glorious light I sense in him is answered with a raging wildfire.  

Heaven help me, he called me an angel.  But all I want is to grovel at his feet, to debase myself completely.  The fiber of my mind crackles in the viscous lava of my subservience to him.

Please, I beg of you, destroy all meaning.  Tear my walls and protections from me.  His voice stirs wicked desires.  His dirty words bind me to him for all eternity.  I fall deeper into the abyss gladly. 

Society’s Shortcomings

This will be a very short rant mainly because I don’t usually rant.  

I just wanted to say that I love the social graces.  Many things about them are lovely.  Having doors opened for me, being utterly female in dress to please my man and make him feel utterly male, polite voice volume in luxurious restaurants, all these things are the stuff of social grace and make me swoon.  They just bring delight and peace, a sense that all is right in the world

On the flip side, social boundaries can be so limiting.  When I wrote about touch, for example.  There are so many friends and even generally nice people who aren’t friends that could use a hug or a caress.  Why can’t that be okay?  But it’s not. You can’t go up to a terminally grumpy person and say, “You seem really tense, let me give you a blowjob, you’ll feel so much better!”

I know, I can’t have ALL the niceties and NONE of the boundaries at the same time.  I get it.  We really have it good in the current age.  Victorian times were too strict, Roman times too dangerous. 

Still, it’d be nice.  Anyone need a blowjob? Back rub? LOL