Protocols help deepen the dynamic of our power exchange. We only have a few rules or protocols so far. I kneel to Mr. D soon after I arrive at his home. In this way, I honor him and acknowledge my submission to him. I am also required to ask permission before I leave his side to go down on him. Actually, that rule is more accurately that I must ask for permission to suck his cock. I may not do so on a whim. He has to give permission in this matter. I must voice my desire and wait for him to grant permission. Sometimes, he says no. Being told ‘no’ has a lot of power in it for me.
The night before Mr. D left on a week long business trip we were both tired. I arrived late to his home and he had to get up at 3am to catch a plane. We did not have much time or energy for dynamics. At times like these the lifestyle takes a back seat to life in general.
After we talked a moment and Mr. D rose from his chair to use the bathroom, it was my cue to kneel and wait for him. We were getting right into bed after I arrived. For some reason I hesitated. I suppose because it felt like a non-dynamic evening. Still, I stood there thinking about kneeling but then didn’t. He came out and we got into bed like nothing was missing. When you don’t do something you’re required to do and there are no consequences, I wonder what gets us back on track? Like going to the gym or taking care of our health. There is a very long term consequence of poor health but in the short term? In the short term, you get to be lazy, you don’t have to go to the gym. So, it feels easier. Real life doesn’t always give us the immediate consequences of our actions. Do I expect Mr. D to hold me to my promises? Is it his responsibility or mine? I wonder about this in relation to a power dynamic. If no one holds you to the law, is there a law…is there a dynamic in place?
As we were cuddling, he asked me to put my hand on his cock. Prior to that, I wasn’t sure if he wanted sex. As I caressed him, the need to have him in my mouth grew as it always does.
“Do you want to suck it, girl?” He asked.
“Yes, I do Daddy.” He knows I do. I always do.
He buried his hand in my hair and gripped it tight as an exclamation point to these words, “You may have the choice not to kneel and you may get away with that tonight but if you want to suck my cock, you know the rules and you will follow them. Do you understand?”
“Yes, Daddy.” I gasped. I felt a wave of relief and joy run through me. He hadn’t missed that I did not kneel. It does matter to him. I could have cried right then. I had no idea how important it was that I not get away with poor behavior. I didn’t even realize that I was testing our dynamic at all. But being reprimanded in even that small way made me feel his power and his dominance in a way I desperately needed right then.
I can’t describe properly what being his submissive means to me but I crave it like nothing else in this world.