The Start

“Eyes down. Hands at your side.” I was naked and on my knees. He sat on the couch in front of me. He took my tits in hand and began to lick and suck my nipples one at a time. It was slow, erotic torture. I was denied touch.  I could only look down. As he sat back on the couch his fingers tweaked my wet, hard nipples. I moaned and looked up at him in reflex. 

“Eyes down. Clearly, I’ve left you to languish too long.  My slut can’t follow simple directions anymore.”  I despaired.  My eyes focused on his belt buckle.  His hand reached out and grabbed my neck with force and I immediately panicked.  My hands came up to protect myself. 

“Arms down!” I snapped my arms back into place and just like that I was entranced. Stern Daddy sends me to a very dark and focused place. I am all alone but for his voice, his touch, his words. I am tethered to him. I am inexorably enshrouded in blackness yet completely under his power and buoyed by his desire. 

“Take out my cock.” His hand released my neck and he sat back to give me access.  I unbuckled his leather belt and unzipped his pants. I reached in and pulled his hard cock out. “Kiss the head of my penis.” I kissed it without touching him anywhere else. I was damned if I would get any other orders wrong. 

I let my lips part and slid them across the silky head.  God, I love the feel of him. “Daddy, may I suck your cock?” I waited and dared not look up.

“Yes, slut.” Yesss. I opened my mouth and took the tip of him in.  I moistened his smooth, bulbous head with my tongue and slid my lips around the whole of it. The feel of his cock in my mouth was heaven.  I sucked him in…effectively tugging on him. His body responded, hardening more.  

I put my hands on the ground inbetween his legs and became a receptical for his cock. I pushed forward until he was hitting the back of my throat.  When he is thrust that deep I can get traction and suck him in earnest.  I was rapt in my work when I heard his voice.

“Rise my love, into the bedroom with you.” I pulled away from his cock and rose to my feet which were prickly with pins and needles from kneeling.  I walked into the bedroom as he followed. “Sula for me.” Sula is a slave position and means to lie on your back, arms at your side and legs spread wide.  I did as commanded. 

He rose up between my legs to go down on me. His lips and tongue swirled my clit making me squirm. Once my clit was hard he pressed his lips up against my body and sealed them around it. As he does that he sucks and works me with his tongue driving me wild. My hands gripped the bed and grabbed at the air, they were expressing somehow the intensity of his ministrations.

He noticed and said, “Keep your hands at your sides whore!” I felt horrible, why can’t I follow a simple rule? He looked up at me in consternation. “Play with yourself.” Dejected, I put my hand between my legs and rubbed my clit for him. He pulled out the Hitachi.  I knew what he wanted.  “You’re going to give me your come. I want it and you’re going to give it to me. This order you will follow.”

“Yes, Daddy.” I said. I was mortified.

“Daddy’s not here anymore. Now you have to deal with Stern Master and you’re going to give me what I want. This weekend you are mine and this is how it’s going to be.” He turned on the vibrator and put it between my legs. “Hold it.” 

I grabbed onto it as the vibration worked its magic. I closed my eyes and listened to the words he leveled at me.  Words of control, words of possession.  Usually it takes me a long time and sometimes my mind throws me right out of the game but tonight I was his completely. Before I thought possible I told him, “I’m coming Daddy, coming!” My body shook and bucked then I felt him enter me.  His cock filled me and I had what I ached for, he fucked me hard and fast. It was a beautiful homecoming. 

Daddy’s Not Here

We were fucking.  More accurately, he was fucking me.  We had played, I had come for him, now he was having his.  His cock stretched me wide with each thrust.  The first thrust stung.  Our first night back together we had slipped and I had torn a little.  I could feel it still. 

I knew the pain would disappear if I got past the stingy beginning.  Once he was in and my pussy swelled, I would only feel the pleasure. Liking pain, at least in the sexual arena, is helpful in some situations. 

He sped up and fucked me hard and fast.  We had been at it a while.  He wasn’t going over the edge. This was going to take something more.

“Slut, you are going to make me come. This is your job, figure it out.”  One strokes, two strokes, I had nothing.  I know me, I am a horrible actress.  If something is not my idea, not truly felt from my tiptoes on up through my sex with real passion or in subspace then it rings horribly false.  I knew he’d see right through me. 

As he was fucking me, I had desperately wanted to rub my clit. I hadn’t. I decided that was a real desire, an authentic action.  Maybe something good would come of it. 

I snaked my hand down between us and rubbed my clit.  It felt so good I rubbed it harder.  “Nice, Slut. Keep going.”  He was watching me now.  I felt his heat focusing, I felt my body quicken. I was getting hotter and needy.  Yesssss

Now I could connect with the dirty little slut inside me. She’s always there waiting.  Usually Daddy brings her out but sometimes I can too.

I rocked my hips as he fucked me. I began to lose my grip on reality and only felt him.  “I love your cock in me Daddy.  I need you fucking me. Please keep fucking me.”

Out of nowhere his hand came up and slapped my tits hard.  I whimpered piteously.  The harsh sting expanded out from my nipples.  “No Daddy, please no!” I cried.

He looked down at me all hardness and sin. “Do NOT tell me NO.  Daddy is not here anymore.”

My protective Daddy was gone, sadistic Master had arrived.  He would not put up with any bullshit or back talk. “Yes D-d-daddy…Sir. Yes Sir.” I stammered.  In my state of arousal I had a hard enough time controlling my words but Sir and Master are so rarely used they feel foreign.

He gripped my neck and fucked me with force and heat and intensity.  When he loosened his grip on my neck I gagged my breath back into my throat.  But some evil thought was bouncing around in my oxygen deprived mind. Tell him no.

His hand slapped my tits again. “What slave?” Fuck, he could see every damned thought in my head.

The pain shook that thought away. “Ahhh, it hurts!” I said. By God it stung. 

“You poor thing. You’re mine. I’ll do what I want until you make me come.  What are you?”

“Your slut.” He fucked me continously.

“What else? Keep your hand moving.”  I kept rubbing my clit.

“Your slave.” 

“Yes, my slave but what else are you?”  He was looking for something but what?

It finally occured to me. “Your wife.” I whispered. 

“That’s right. My wife. That makes you mine…mine forever. And you will take what I give you.  You will take my come.”  At that he shuddered and filled me full of his seed. 

Do You Want a Beating?

Daddy and I were home alone on a weekend.  He was leaving on a plane the next day and the separation loomed in front of us.

I told him I wanted to get drunk and massage him.  He was amenable to the idea.  Not that I need to be drunk to give a massage.  I always love touching him.  But there is a place I can slip into with just a slight buzz.  A physical, sexual place where I can close my eyes and just feel.  It is somethig akin to subspace, a different level of consciousness. 

We had a drink and Daddy was smoking a cigar.  We were out on our patio enjoying each other.  I felt too far from him sitting in the other chair and took the cushion from mine, putting it between his knees on the concrete. I knelt before him and wrapped my arms around his belly.  My safe place.  My rightful place in this world, at his feet.

I felt so many emotions there close to him.  I felt love and heat.  I felt the fear of losing him in this move.  I felt submissive and I wanted to have his cock in my mouth.  All these desires and feelings and fear fought to overwhelm me.  Yet I looked up to him when beckoned. 

“Mine.” He said.  Claiming what is his.  

“Yes Daddy, yours.” I smiled with the heat of my love apparent.  

 “What do you want baby girl?” 

“May I suck your cock Daddy?” I needed him.

“Yes, you may but first I want you to go put in the medium plug.” I nodded and rose from my position.  I went to our bathroom and applied lube to the medium anal plug.  I knelt at the sink and inserted it slowly.  I felt it stretch me wide then it was in.

I returned to Daddy and knelt again at his feet. He pulled down his shorts as I knelt further down.  I rolled my tongue around his already growing girth. That’s what I love, what I needed.  I lost myself in the taste, the smell, the texture of him in my mouth. I pulled him all the way into the back of my throat.  I sucked him until I gagged for air then I pulled back.  I looked up at him with a mouthful of cock. We made eye contact.  I feel vulnerable, so incredibly vulnerable like that but I forced myself to look up to him, to be seen in the act of pleasing him.  

Little did I know that he had taken pictures of me right before. He showed them to me later.  I looked entranced. I really loved the pictures actually.

After a while I pulled back to catch my breath.  “Do you want to a beating baby girl?”  I nodded yes.  I desperately needed one.  “Then rise and go inside.”

He knows what I need even when I don’t. 

Power Dynamic

Such is the rhythm of my life at the moment that I start to write and don’t get back to finish for weeks.  We have had a couple intense sessions recently but I can’t write them with enough details to do them justice. It begs the question, if kinky sex happens and no one writes a blog about it, did it happen at all?

I’m doing my best to write. Random stuff, unnecessary stuff, non-sexual, non-kinky stuff, because if I don’t I fear I’ll stop writing altogether. The most lifestyle related thing I’ve been doing lately is reading a book on the Master/slave dynamic called, Living M/s. What a great book. It is written in sections by a Master and a slave currently living a 24/7 power exchange relationship. So many things they talk about resonate with me.

I was trying to explain the book and my thoughts on it to Daddy. I’m not sure I did such a great job. One thing the slave talks about is how the power exchange in her vanilla relationships was always a problem. That there was always a faltering kind of competitiveness and resentments that would crop up over inconsequential things. This is absolutely what I had in my marriage. I couldn’t put a name to it for years, but there was always a constant tit-for-tat undercurrent in my first marriage. I’d make dinner and expect that he’d do the dishes. He wouldn’t. Then I’d get resentful. He’d ask me to do something for him and I’d feel put out and so I’d do it begrudgingly. He didn’t deserve my serving him because I was pissed about something else minor. 

After decades of this, I was inadvertently introduced to the D/s lifestyle. Everything I read about power exchange relationships made such incredible sense! Why guess and compete and struggle for who is in charge in a relationship? It’s so damned hard and so useless. I could immediately see the wisdom in choosing roles. When my mindset is to be his submissive, to serve and to put him before me in my considerations, life is good. I am at peace. I am filled with contentment.

Daddy wrote up a contract for me to agree to before we began on our journey together. I’ll have to share it at some point. One of his desires was to have me submit in private but for us to be equals in public. Honestly, I think about this a lot. I continue to want to push deeper and deeper into this lifestyle. Even right now, while we’re mainly living a vanilla life, stressed and struggling our way through major life changes, I feel myself on this ever present quest to get back to what is deeper, to submit more, to have my whole being committed to him in this power play. But is that what he wants? Would I want to give up power completely or more than I can imagine now?  

I know a few things so far.  When I am conscious of the power dynamic, I am alive.  I feel connected to him. I feel the raw, sexual energy flowing between us. When I don’t feel it, I falter.

Empty Days, Full Nights

Freedom awaits

Alone together

Cloistered with Him

Disruptions ceased
 

Walking the tether

His dominance beckons

Aching with a fervor

Desire paramount
 

His will not mine

Mists of sinewy need

Bind and ensnare

Breathless distraction
 

Debased and supplicant

Throbbing and yearning

Petitioning to serve

Whore for pleasure
 

Emotion flourishes

Pain blossoms

Monster unleashed

Exalted in torture

 
Please, I pray

Take, I beg

Use, I entreat

Your will, I serve

Hot Afternoon

Daddy and I were both just home from work and chitchatting in the kitchen. He was teasing me about seeing my ass every time I bent over while putting groceries away.

“Well, if you want to see it naked all you have to do is ask,” I teased.

“Alright then,” he said and off he went to the bedroom.  It took me a minute to realize what had happened.

“Oh, wait, did you just accept my offer?” I asked as I followed him.

“That’s what it sounded like to me unless you’re taking it back now,” he said. 

“No, no, not at all.” I wasn’t giving up an opportunity for afternoon sex, no way. I locked the door and stripped down in front of him while he got situated. Once naked, I slid up on the bed next to him with my ass in the air.  “As you wished Daddy.”

He ran his hands over my ass as we kissed and talked a little more. I didn’t know what would happen next.  He could be tired and want to relax.  “Face down, arms at your side.” He said.  Apparently, relaxing was not on his mind. I breathed through my mop of hair while I waited noticing that my breath was again a little shallow.  Apparently the partying in Vegas had its way with me just a bit.

Daddy rubbed my ass as a warning that he was there.  His hand was then replaced by the short silicon cat o’nine tails.  They were stingy and felt oh so good on my ass.  I hadn’t expected any BDSM play midweek but I was hungry for it.  I raised my ass in welcome.  I wanted more, a lot more. Daddy switched between caresses and whips of the tails on my ass and thighs.  

“Spread your legs.” I did as told.  His face pushed in and his tongue probed my ass.  It felt incredible.  If you’ve never had this done to you, get over whatever stigma you may hold against ass play and try it.  The nerve endings all bunch up at the sphincter making it a hot spot of sensation.  Daddy’s tongue flicked and fucked my little hole, driving me crazy with pleasure.

He whipped me again and then switched to his little paddle.  He struck each ass cheek twice. We couldn’t make too much noise.  But this little beast stings so much more than any other toy.  It is simply a round piece of wood with a hand strap across the back.  A devilish little toy. 

With my ass still stinging he raised my hips up and fucked my pussy with his fingers.  I was wet, I was ready.  He positioned me again and entered me with his cock.  Damn, I was so ready for a good fucking.  The more I have him, the more we play, the more I want.  This position is a challenge for us because I have long legs being a tall girl.  Daddy has shorter legs for a man who’s six feet.  So, sometimes it works sometimes not. 

After a few strokes he said, “On your back.” I flipped over and spread my legs.  He pushed my feet up and out.  I reached out to touch him. “No, hands down.” I whimpered as I tucked hands under my thighs for support.  He shoved his cock inside me and began to fuck me with my legs wide. “Clench your pussy, slut.”  I clenched my muscles around his cock and heard a satisfied grunt from him.  With my legs spread and my muscles tight this was a good workout of my pelvic muscles.  

He fucked me hard and fast.  I began to pant and sweat.  The pleasure was intense.  He changed his angle so that his cock was pushing into me straight on.  It rubbed up against the top of my canal where they say the g-spot is located.  At the same time his belly was rubbing on my clit.  I moaned and moaned and suddenly I felt a pop and there was a gush of moisture between us.  Daddy looked at me in surprise. “Did what I think just happen, happen?” He asked.  I nodded my head.  I had no idea what just happened but it was something amazing and I couldn’t speak right then. I wanted him to keep going. 

After a few more strokes he stopped and laid down on the bed next to me.  “I will still give you my seed but it will be later tonight so be ready.” He said.  We both caught our breath and talked about what happened.

He took his fingers and put his dripping pre-come on my lips.  I sucked his fingers and licked them clean. I asked him, “Would you like me to suck your cock Daddy?” I didn’t know if he’d want more since he told me we would finish later.

“Yes, I would love that baby girl.” I got on my knees between his legs and sucked his cock into my mouth.  “Do you like the way we taste together?” He asked.  I nodded yes, I did.  I licked and sucked until he was clean of our juices and hard again. Daddy startled me when he jumped up and turned over.  “Lick my ass slut.”  I shook with excitement.  I can’t describe how hot it makes me when he gives me direct orders like that.  I love knowing exactly what he wants and doing something at his beckoning that I wouldn’t normally do on my own.  I pushed my face in and licked and pushed my tongue in deep.  He moaned and I was so thrilled to give him such pleasure.

We finished the afternoon with him fucking my pussy and using his fingers in my ass.  He came hard filling me with his seed. “You’re off the hook for later,” he said. It was a perfect afternoon.

Dedication

black-woman

I am dedicated to Daddy.  I want with all my heart to be all that he wants and needs in a submissive, a wife, a slave and a woman.  I hope that with everything I do that I honor my dedication to him, that I honor him in thought, word and deed.

This week I failed him.  I promised to write and I failed to do so.  He was away in Berlin and it would have been the best time to write for him.  To give him a taste of his home and his girl while he was so far away.  I failed him in that.  Why do I fail? My focus drifted to other things.  I was hyper-focused on cleaning out my closet.  I’m worried that we’ll not have enough room for all his things and mine when we move in together.  So, I took everything out of the one closet bit by bit and went through it.  I’m not nearly done.  I want to scan old photos so they will no longer take up space.  I want to make some photo albums of special photos.  I took out two years of filing I had avoided for too long.  I bought a filing cabinet and shredded and filed until there was nothing left but one organized cabinet. I did my taxes.

I was distracted from my main desire, to please Daddy. I know I get distracted.  I get tunnel vision on one task and other equally important tasks fall by the wayside. When Daddy asked for me to write, I wanted to write.  I knew I wanted to please him and I promised.  Still I didn’t write.  My muse felt so silent and cold. Daddy arrived home from Berlin and I was so happy I’d be able to see him.  He texted that he’d arrive and I was to wear a skirt and no panties.  He told me that I would feel his passion and his displeasure.  That I would be punished and asked if I knew why.  Oh, yes, I knew.  I knew very well.  He said, even though we would be having family time that he would find time during the evening to make me feel his heat and I would be punished. Even as I felt the guilt from my actions, my heart sang that he cared so much for me and for my writing.  I felt a wave of need for him so white hot.  Maybe I should be afraid of punishment but it feels like home, it feels like caring, it lets me know his desires and that our dynamic is important to him.

Silhouette is in the public domain