I had arrived at Mr. D’s for the evening on Sunday.  I thought we’d have plenty of time, so did he. 

He was busy doing some repairs when I arrived so I put my things down in the bedroom and said hello to his roommates.  He came inside and they were talking about the timing of dinner then Daddy was getting something ready for my son…something the two of them had talked about between them.  That part makes me smile.  Daddy did something to share a Christmas secret with my son.  They have texted this week without my input.  It makes my heart swell to think of it.  Anyhow, I’m getting off track.

With all the activity and roomies around, I wasn’t sure when to kneel for him.  I try to wait until it is convenient for Daddy to have me kneel to honor him.  It feels like a big attention grab if I do it so that he has to get up or stop what he’s doing in order to accept my offering.  Daddy finished his task and said, “On the bed, come snuggle me.”  We only had a half hour until we had to get dinner ready.

We snuggled and were quiet and touched and talked a little. At some point during snuggling the temperature changed between us from warmth to heat.  He pulled off my pants and put his lips and tongue on my sex.  His licked and sucked me like only he can do.  I felt the heat expand and fill me until his fingers pushed inside me too.  He pushed my legs up and had me hold them for him.  With his fingers and mouth on me, my body responded quickly to his need.

He rose and put a couple drops of lube on me.  Rubbing me and pushing his fingers inside me more swiftly. He was positioned between my legs already and only had to lunge forward a bit to enter me.   From his place on his knees he slid his cock gently inside me.  Every time I feel him stretch me open I become more turned on, more eager, more in need of him than the minute before.  He held my legs open wide and pumped me for a few minutes of good fucking.  Then he knelt back on his heels and angled lower than normal.  I think he was trying to angle his cock into me so that it would touch the G spot area more towards the top wall of my vagina.  

What else happened, though, was something I didn’t expect.  Each time he thrust forward ever so slowly, the underside of his belly would rub across the top of my whole clitoral area.  It was warm and it was moving pressure in that very sensitive area in an odd but very provocative way.  I felt my body respond.  I felt an orgasm building and it was so different.  I loved it so much and I’m sure I was showing it because I saw it wind up Mr. D until he couldn’t hold it any longer and came hard inside me.
I love watching him cum, it’s just about the best experience.  I love knowing he loves pleasing me and that seeing me wind up also winds him up.  He was apologizing for cumming so soon even as he was cumming.  I tried to tell him how much I love our sex no matter who cums or when we cum because I want him to enjoy it 100% and never have the feeling that it was too soon or I didn’t get there too.  He is such a miracle to me in that respect.  He cares and he works for my pleasure and wants to own that part of me.  He does like no one ever has. Neither one of us orgasm every time. It has shown me more than ever before that orgasms are only a part of the whole experience. One I’m really happy to say I have now during our play but still just one part of the whole.

Afterwards we had to clean up quickly and go have dinner with the family.  We planned to have more fun afterwards but I had to leave during dinner so we weren’t able to finish our evening.  I left feeling so happy we were impulsive at the beginning of the evening and sad that I left without kneeling to my Dominant.  A vanilla evening it was then but such a nice one.

Missing Him

I just published a post I had written the day after the attacks on Paris.  It never posted that day for some reason.  Probably because everyone on the planet was checking on family over the Internet. It’s pretty amazing that so many people were able to let their loved ones know they were safe through social media like Facebook.  What an amazing gift.

Anyhow, I came here tonight to post my feelings and got distracted by the Paris post.  I’m finally home and so happy to be here.  I have my son with me and he’s been getting over his withdrawals from two weeks without mom. At the same time, I haven’t had any time with Mr. D until today.  We’ve seen each other twice but those times have been with my son and not alone time.

I feel like I was given a tiny bit of the drug that keeps me living.  I’m not sure if I would have been better off going cold turkey a few more days or if it helped.  I want more of him.  I can feel a hollow place where he lives and fills my heart.  I need him in some visceral way.  Please let it be Tuesday very, very soon.

His Hands


His hands are at once soft and hard

The fine fur on the them draws my touch

His grip is gentle as his love is felt

A caress across my skin excites the flesh

Until I’m crazed and wound into a frenzy

Then his hands become something more

Controlling and dominating me

Hard and unforgiving in their relentlessness

A victim to their command, I am powerless

Hypnotically they move me

Touching and guiding, taking their due

Until I am completely rapt


Because I haven’t written in a while, I have a backlog of thoughts and memories jumbled in my mind. Daddy and I played many times during the last two weeks I just didn’t document it.  So, my mind is full and I need to purge onto the page.  It is a very odd sensation but it is as if all that’s happened stays in a holding tank until I write.  

I keep it all in mind and it begins to morph into an alphabet soup.  I start becoming worried that I have forgotten everything.  But I do my best to set aside the fear and begin.  I pull one thread and slowly it unravels.  Soon I have words for you and a nice neat ball of string.

I worried about forgetting this past week while I still wasn’t writing.  Last night I finally wrote and only about last night.  Fresh memories…so easy, so present.  Now I feel the tugging of the string because an end was found.



A few days ago, Mr. D and I were going to sleep. He knew I was upset about my parent in the hospital. I curled up against his back and the contact with him brought all the pent up emotions to the surface. I was sad and the feelings washed over me. Unbeknownst to me, the pressure and contact of my body pressed to him was working on Mr. D. In the midst of my falling apart, Mr. D turned around with a look of lust in his eyes, “All you do is touch me and you do this to me. It’s your fault.”

His hand took mine and put it on his hard cock. I smiled through my pain and felt my body react and turn against the sorrow in my heart. His lips took mine is a hard kiss of possession. His lips slashed across mine and his tongue and teeth claimed me. My hand around his cock, my arm pinned between us, his body pushing me down while the kiss continued unabated.

The heat was overwhelming and gave the pain that colored my world an exit. My body arched against him and matched his hunger. His lips left mine and his teeth grazed my neck, my throat, my breast. The tearing heat of it left marks. My nipples tightened and rose to meet his lips and tongue. As he traveled down my body, I realized that he was headed further. He was going to taste me, pleasure me. I was torn. “No,” I thought to myself, “let this night, this passion, be for him. My heart is breaking; don’t let this be about me.”  But, his mind was set and he was between my legs before I finished the thought.

“Open yourself for me.” I spread my sex for him and held it open as asked. My knees were pushed up and open, pinning my arms against me. His lips and tongue set a blaze of fire across my tender and vulnerable sex. I felt split in two. My body, the traitor that it is, reacted swiftly to his touch. The sadness had a hold on me that warred against the pleasure he was building inside me. I moaned and arched under him. Next, his fingers pushed inside my pussy. I wanted this, needed this. Anything, just keep going. Deeply his fingers filled me, and then moved the wetness from my pussy down and circled my asshole. Oh, no, not that. I’m not ready, oh please. Like a good girl, I held still and his finger wiggled inside the tight little hole. I was vibrating now, his fingers in both holes, and his mouth on my clit, he gave me no way to retreat from him. His other arm held onto my thigh, I was trapped in this cage of ecstasy.

Before I knew what was happening, I felt my body tense and tighten. Beyond any doubt, I could feel deep within my sex the tightening as if a clock was being wound. An orgasm was building inside me. Not the new kind I have just started to feel with Mr. D but the clitoral kind I give myself.   This was a first, to feel that type of sensation from oral sex. I let it register in my mind and felt it grow. It was pretty amazing especially for how I was feeling emotionally. I was overwhelmed by all that Mr. D was doing. He had his fingers in my front and my back and his mouth kept sending jolts through me. So, it seems this is the magic way to the Promised Land for me. Twice now, Mr. D has gotten me completely and thoroughly worked up in this situation. I am continually amazed at the heights of passion he takes me to and the varieties of sensations he brings to the fore.

Photo by Lies Through A Lenses and Found Here (CC 2.0 Attribution )