From Daddy

This is the letter Mr. D sent me before I lifer on my trip.  I was so concerned to be leaving him.  I’m so glad I’m back. And I’m beyond touched and grateful to have a Daddy like him.

Sitting here after visiting you thinking how very lucky I am. Knowing you are mine and loving the connection and value we cherish each other with makes me giddy.  You are going on a blink of a trip to a wonderful place in support of a dear friend. I love everything about that. That you cherish him enough to be there when needed. And it is needed with him. Not because he has no one else but because it shows the lengths you go to support those who need you. I need you and that is reassuring to me.  

You get to visit your little brother and share an experience in Europe that wouldn’t have been possible otherwise. That’s Karma blessing your trip.  

I love you and three weeks will seem like forever but I love everything about you and this trip and circumstance. You deserve wonderful and exceptional. I hope that the trip embodies all that is right with your friend and brings him a sense of joy and peace that I don’t think he has presently. You can be that catalyst in his life.  

Baby Girl people love you and clamor to you. You have a rich life in the people and family you nurture and that is a gift. Treasure it.  

You are my future. You may be my destiny. But whatever brought us together I am grateful.   

No more tears. No more worries. Daddy loves you and cherishes you. He doesn’t stipulate how or when just that it is. That is enough and more.  

Love you,

Daddy 

Just Now

I have been feeling afraid lately.  Not all the time.  Just in some little moments in the late of night or the early morning.  Fear of losing him.  Fear that I will do something wrong and I will see, not anger but cold hard disappointment in his eyes. I will do everything I can not to see that.  I want to make his life content and happy and full, not sad and … mediocre.  

All relationships go through phases.  Insane happy sex sex sex…crush.  Settled happy joy…love.  Falling sad disappointment…she’s not perfect. She bugs me, won’t she stop doing that?  God, I hope we make it through that phase.  Why do we have to go through that falling phase?  Falling from the heights of “they’re more perfect than anyone ever before” to “oh yeah, they’re the same as everybody else.” But you know, everyone is amazing in their own way.  If we just keep seeing each other for the incredible piece of perfection we are, flaws and all, can we skip the falling?

It scares me. I know me. I can agree with pretty much anything bad you tell me about me.  He can read my heart like I’m naked and it’s pounding out Braille through my chest.  He sees things I don’t. He could crush me with my faults but he doesn’t.  I am putting my whole heart in his care now.  Will being his slave be more than I can handle? I know I try really hard. I fail a lot but I always try again and I always want to please him. I hope that’s enough.

I know I love him beyond all doubt.  I want to spend my life pleasing him and serving him.  I will be tested.  I will at some point test him too.  Not on purpose but it’ll happen.  I’ll piss him off.  I’ll frustrate the shit out of him. 

Please let him see through my faults and want me love anyway.  Please let him continue to choose me.  

His Hands

 

His hands are at once soft and hard

The fine fur on the them draws my touch

His grip is gentle as his love is felt

A caress across my skin excites the flesh

Until I’m crazed and wound into a frenzy

Then his hands become something more

Controlling and dominating me

Hard and unforgiving in their relentlessness

A victim to their command, I am powerless

Hypnotically they move me

Touching and guiding, taking their due

Until I am completely rapt

Being Daddy

 I held onto my calm for about two days. Being told a parent quite possibly can’t breathe on their own anymore took a toll.  

I ended with with a dinner party at my house last night because it just worked better at my place.  But I tried to get to the hospital all day and didn’t make it.  By the evening, prepping dinner, I wasn’t in a good place.

We ate and my friends were understanding when I cut the evening short.  I just couldn’t focus on anything else. 

Daddy stepped in and stayed at my place with my child so I could go to the hospital.  I was concerned because it was already late and he can’t sleep without a c-pap, because of sleep apnea.  But he assured me they’d be fine.

I was distressed and sad.  Daddy gave me a hug and I just didn’t want to let go.  I felt the tears coming.  I have been in caregiver mode up until now so I haven’t cried really at all. I still need to do that I guess.  My boss told me it’s good to do that otherwise your grief comes shooting out sideways in a way you don’t expect.  That sounds pretty wise.

Anyhow, life intrudes big time on lifestyle at the moment.  Daddy was my savior last night for staying all evening at my place.  I came home and he was still up reading.  He had changed into a tank and shorts.  I wanted him as soon as I saw him.  He has big shoulders and a sexy tattoo, so seeing him in a tank just makes me squirm.

We cuddled and talked.  Then he started tickling me and made me laugh and squirm in an entirely different way.  I love him so much for making my night end with fun. 

Image from Pixabay under CC Public Domain

Becoming Us

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Becoming Us

She is a goddess, a mix of Venus, Mae West and Betty Page

She is equal parts liquid sex and molten desire

Pliant and communicative in her needs

Eliciting depths of passion from me I cannot fathom

Love is the proverbial tip of my feelings

Unhinged ardor swims in my veins at thoughts of her

Twisted domination as she takes my soul and sex

Pulling from her willing captive my very being

Happily I await her presence

Needing to bask in her voice and body

Longing to see her smile and gasp

Hear her need in a touch and look

It started passionately, submission on a boardwalk

Kisses igniting souls and more

Aroused, I fed my cock into her mouth

Bodies aflame I held back; offering her a reprieve

I asked to see her again and she agreed

Into the night we walked and so it went

Each meeting delving deeper and deeper into our desires

A contract signed, she consented to serve and I was happy

Planning and obsessing pushing boundaries safely

Taking and plundering her yet always restraining

Culmination then in the roles we chose and freedom given

It came all at once – we are bound

Bound, yes, occasionally in rope

Permanently in desire and roles ever developing

She permeates my being, my thoughts, and desires

I lust for her and rarely manage restraint in her presence

She is my muse, my imagination

Somewhat my obsession

Always my equal and companion

I am an addict and she is my drug and fix…. A juxtaposition

Viscerally, I want her neck, her shoulder, her sex

I demand her supplication and obeisance

Relishing her mind and body

Melding in the glory of our coupling

Clinging to each other in desperation

Climaxing into one perverse release

Longing for a time when nothing separates us

I claim you as Mine and promise to hold this dear…

June 5, 2015

Image from Pixabay through CC0 Public Domain

Falling

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I have fallen for Him and yet

I descend an endless well

At times I slow and feel

The internal walls gripping me

I feel the floor safely under my feet

Comfort and warmth hold me

The floor melts, again I fall

Fear is my comfort

I crave the free fall

Emotion flourishes

My mind and heart collide

He surrounds me

Fulfilling rampant desire

Awakening pride and joy

Opening me, exposing me

Finding those raw places

Shining light in darkness

Pain and pleasure explode

Within and without, I am His

Image from Pixabay through CC0 Public Domain