What Happened?

Hi Kinky Folks,

Funny thing about saying I’d be back to fill you in on my life. It took me a long while to get back. A year, in fact.

My hubby and Dominant, Mr D, died suddenly. A year ago, we seemed like we were getting through the pandemic fairly well. He was working from home, I was working in the office with much less staff. Life was slower and we were working on our health. He lost 73 lbs and I was really proud of his progress. He had taken a 20 mile bike ride with friends over the weekend. While I was at work I got a call from a police officer who found him fallen on a bike path in town. I had kissed him goodbye that morning and went to work. I had no idea he even planned a ride. It was such a short ride at that. He could only have been riding maybe ten minutes at that point. It must have been a heart attack. I’ll never know for sure as they chose not to do an autopsy. I guess not taking care of yourself for years gives them a pass on follow-ups like that.

So, writing a kinky blog when there is absolutely no kink going on in your life seemed ridiculous. Grief sucks. Didn’t really want to write about that either.

So, what else? I’m still in school, set to graduate fairly soon. Happy about that for sure.

I think about my life with Mr D and damn, I had it good. He took great care of me. He was a protector pure and strong. I miss that. I feel vulnerable since he’s been gone.

I thought I was good at the independent, strong woman bit but it’s mainly a ruse. I distance from folks because I’m a push over. Working on that again. Ever notice we get to keep learning the lessons we need to learn?

Long Time Gone

Hello Kinky Friends,

I have been gone so long there is dust in every corner and cobwebs aplenty. I am rusty at writing and at finding my voice. I do need this outlet though so here I am back again.

I’m sure no one is stopping by here to read our past adventures much the pity. Those adventures feel as distant to me as someone else’s life. So, time to dust off the keyboard, kick myself in the ass and get on with it.

Today, I figured out how to log back in. Woo. I’ve written a little hello and I have the intention to return later with a full update. Sound fair? I think so, too.

I hope life in pandemic times has treated you as well as possible. I know it’s been hard. After sharing some of my own woes and experiences in this ‘new normal’ from these ‘unprecedented’ times…yeah I’m as sick of those phrases as you are…then hopefully we can move forward together to more fun and kinkier pursuits.

Boobie hugs and a kiss. ~Amor

Long Time No Talk

Hello, it’s me. I think there’s a song that starts that way. I’m overtired but finally in bed. It was a great weekend. We had the family over, which was really fun. We were supposed to go camping but the campground had issues and cancelled. So, we stayed home and BBQ’d for all the would-be campers.

This meant that instead of digging my camping gear out of the attic we switched gears into full house cleaning mode. Mr. D gave the backyard a pick-up and his man cage a full sano. He has a fab enclosed area in the backyard with comfy chairs and a propane glass rock fire table. You know the kind. It’s a great place for him to smoke cigars and friends to come hang out. Yesterday, it was all the family. The man cage was overflowing with all of us. It was a lot of fun.

I spent my morning cleaning the inside of the house, cleaning the carpet, bathrooms, anything and everything that needed cleaning. Whew! Guest-ready! Our place is mostly fine on any given day. If you’d stop by unannounced it wouldn’t be tragic but you know, I like to make it the best I can. I told Mr. D, a party is always a great excuse to clean the house. 😜 I don’t think he thought that was funny.

Mr D got all the fixin’s for carne asada and carne pollo along with grilled veggies. I put together the guacamole and put out everything Mr D bought for an awesome Mexican feast. By the time he was done grilling, everything was ready. One of our guests said, “Wow, you are a great entertaining team!” We are, really. We both love to entertain and take care of our peeps.

It was a really nice party. Sometimes, I feel like I work too much but this felt more relaxed and everyone seemed happy and were enjoying. It was still the same amount of dishes and work but it felt more fun, more family and peaceful. Mr D said he had a great time too and that made me happy.

Today was going to be a relaxing day. The overnight guests went to breakfast with us and then left for home. I was sitting on the couch relaxing but I had so many to-do’s still rumbling around in my head. I decided the front yard finally needed doing. We’ve been in our new place for about ten months and I hadn’t touched it at all yet.

I tore up one whole dead planter and replanted it. I edged it with red brick and weeded it all. Then I planted some new plants. The men helped me with the heavy stuff, yay. It’s not quite done but I planted and used everything I purchased so I’m happy.

I used to have a bad habit of starting major gardening projects, buying plants and then getting discouraged or just not finishing it so the plants would die in the meantime. I stopped doing that many years ago. I only get what I can accomplish in one afternoon or a weekend. I’m pretty proud I’ve learned that lesson. There’s so much more to do in the front but one planter is done and it’s an accomplishment.

Mr D did all the grilling today and cooking the meats for the week, yay. It’s so great when he does this. It makes dinners so much easier all week. We make sides but the main courses are done. Easy peasy. Since I’m a college chick now, time is limited and this helps big time.

So, that was our weekend. I hope yours was great as well. If you have room in whatever prayers or good thoughts you send out into the world, say an extra one for Steelclad in the flood zone. He’s doing important work helping so many people in dire need. A few extra prayers his way would be great.

Goodnight kinky friends.


It was a good weekend. We did chores, we took care of stuff. Daddy helped me with some work I had to do at my Mom’s place. We went to a family event which was nice.

With me falling asleep for half the afternoon on Saturday and our attending an event allllll day on Sunday, we didn’t have any sex time. I feel bad about that. I don’t like disappointing Daddy that way. I didn’t have any school work time either.

Such is life. Some weekends are relaxing and give you time to rejuvenate and some are chaotic and busy.

I have to be careful. Last week, I had some of that ‘too much, too much, everything is happening all at once!’ feeling. I need to be better at planning all my To Do’s so this cart doesn’t fly off the rails at some point.

Happy Monday Folks.

Good Places

I am writing to say I’m in a good place. Mr. D and I have settled into our home and it’s good, really good.

After cleaning out my mom’s house, moving my house and his into one home…after all that shuffling of STUFF, we’re settled. Yay! The last box is unpacked, the last room is organized, the last couple projects are in action.

We’ve moved on to living life together. It’s great. We have routines and we’re together in most things we do. We plan projects and work them out together. Whether it’s my project and he helps or vice-versa, we enjoy it.

Rather than write a sex blog or a D/s blog, I’m going to write a life blog for a while. Life is good and that’s a valuable thing to share, too.

So, if you’re still interested, I still want to write. Hope to catch up with you all soon. ❤️

Up All Night

I was told to write yesterday and I failed. It was a truly challenging day with my son. The past few months of the teen years have been almost more than I can handle. He has some emotional problems and I’m spending a lot of time managing his doctors and treatments and, well, it’s really hard. He had anxiety all day yesterday. It was different in that most days there is an episode or challenges but not a whole days worth of it.

Daddy and I had a great adult weekend last weekend. We had time to play. Even though his knee has been hurting him, he still set out all the toys and took care of me. He is so good to me.

I know he wants to hear my thoughts on that play. He was leaving on a plane and sent me a text stating that I must write for him. Not that I had to write something specific but that it had to be yesterday. I accepted the order. I knew he was doing it for me after all. Over the last few months, I’ve realized the submissive part of our relationship is much more something I wanted and not so much something he craved. I think it is fun for him but not necessary.

Daddy wasn’t here to see how all consuming my son was throughout the evening. I ended up falling asleep with my son tucking me in and going back to his room. He was finally calm and I was out. I completely lost focus of Daddy’s command.

In the morning, I woke to Daddy being very upset with me…disappointed, he texted. I broke. The man gives me one command in months and I failed completely. He may not need a submissive but I know he wants me to write. He drops pointed comments often enough that I know how he misses it. I felt my heart drop to my feet. I love him so much and yet I can’t do a simple thing when he asks.

I didn’t even know how to respond. You can’t make proper amends by apologizing again for a repeated bad behavior. Who cares to hear that? No one.

So, here I am writing. I spent my one night alone in the house cleaning everything I never have time to clean. I’m so tired of not getting those things done. It was cathartic. At least the place smells better.

So, one thing at a time. Today I write, tomorrow I’ll sleep.

Moving On

My girlfriend Frenchy has left for France. She lived with us for five months. It was a great time and I’m so so happy we had the time together. She and I lived together many years ago when we were both single and in our twenties. Time flies and here we are at the end of our forties saying goodbye.

I owe Daddy a huge thank you for allowing her to stay with us. He really knew very little about my Frenchie when she moved in but he let her move in with us (to the detriment of our sex life) and I’m so very grateful. They became friends and I’m so happy they did.

My Frenchie can be a whirlwind of fun and spunk. She’s tall and thin and full of life most days. Other days she’s sad and vulnerable and needs love and hugs. Daddy was such a good thing for her in the final months of her saying goodbye to her American life.

My girl was the best roomie. I knew she would be but still she surpassed my expectations. She’s always been one to do more than her part. Aside from being my counterpart with dishes and chores she also helped us buy many things for our new home together. She took the guest’s rule of ‘leave a place better than you found it’ to the next level.

I will always cherish our time together. Much love goes with her on her travels. Hopefully, Daddy and I gave her what she needed to be strong and enjoy the next part of her journey.

Plan B

My Ex always had a Plan B. It had something to do with driving away from all his troubles to go live off the land or have a farm of his own away from the terrible land of Corporations, Big Pharma, the dreaded Government and other various and sordid demons.

This is not that. I had a job interview. Then another. Then several with many team members. It looked good. Not exactly what I wanted to do but it was in my industry and it was a lot more money. As a ‘don’t focus on me, I’m not the important thing here’ submissive I’m not great at asking for what I want. After 10+ years at my current post with only two raises in all that time, a new job with more pay sounded great.

So, I guess I’m at Plan B now. The job went to someone else. I love my current job so I’m not that dejected but I was starting to look forward to something new. Is Plan B looking for actual open positions now? Maybe. The one I just lost was rather foisted at me. I hadn’t been looking. Funny how something you didn’t want and hadn’t asked for turns into something you’re a little bummed to lose.

So, feeling a little down. Nothing major just meh.

Here and Gone

Well, Mr. D’s mom was here and just as quickly she is back home. I thought it was a nice visit. She and I got to know each other a bit. I liked her very much and I think she liked me as well.

Interestingly, his mom looks very like mine had looked. They are quite similar in facial features and build. My Dad remarked on it.

So, nothing fun or on blog topic to report. Though we did finally have sex last night. Daddy was sure I was dying of a cough but I must have convinced him sex would help clear my lungs, lol. Anyway, it was short but needed. I savored every second.

He didn’t much buy my comment that daily sex would cure me, but one can always try. Right? 😉

Daddy Knows Best

Well, sex night was a bust with Daddy telling me to go to sleep. I guess he didn’t want to do dirty things to me while I’m coughing as much as I am. Pout pout lol. That’s why he’s the man in charge. He cares for my well-being.

His mom is coming into town today. I have never met her before so I’m slightly nervous, in a good way. I hope she likes us and enjoys the visit. We’ll be in entertainment mode for her over the weekend.

I may write later again today but maybe not. Lots of thoughts rumbling around but I figured I should at least update you on the sex or no sex situation.

Ciao for now!