Frenzy

He spins me into a wild sexual frenzy. We had sex for hours last night. It was intense, deeply-controlled dominance that led our sexual play. He stirs such passion in me. I ached to have him again right after we were done.

He left this morning and I won't see him for another month in all likelihood. This morning should have been a longing kiss goodbye and me off to work but once again we were at each other. Rutting and needy.

Now I sit at my desk and I am hungry for him. Hungry for his body, starved for the touch of him under my caress, reaching out with my mind to hear his kindred response. He said we are One. He is right about that. My pussy throbs as though his hands are close and his cock available to me now.

I love the frenzy. My body clambers for his. My blood is simmering beneath the surface. Damned the distance, it wants what it wants. It wants the fire and he is the kindling.

Setting the Tone

Before I arrived for my visit with Daddy, he sent me a video of a slave being used by two Masters.  They were very harsh with her and used her body repeatedly.  They took her anally, vaginally and facefucked her.  They degraded her by spitting on her. It was a very intense scene.  She had no break and they did not let up in using her for any plea.

Daddy and I spoke about it after I watched it.  We talked about how she gave of her service and it was not at all about her receiving pleasure. As a viewer, I was initially appalled that she was used almost to the point of abuse. 

When I thought about the scene from a lifestyle perspective, I realized it was along the same lines as what I crave with Daddy. When he leaves his Daddy Protector behind and his Stern Master side comes out it puts me very quickly into a deeply submissive state.  

As we discussed the video he said, “They took and she gave. I have spit on your sex like that but never degraded you with it. I have slapped your face but didn’t know what you felt about it. There will be more discussions and demands.”

Finally he said, “You have mentioned degradation before and that name calling is a turn on. We haven’t gone to sub space in a very long time. Prepare for that on vacation.” 

Fast forward a week.  After picking me up from the airport and taking me to dinner, we went home together. We had some snuggle time then he said, “Stand please. Strip off your clothes and kneel.”

I took a deep breath and followed directions.  I pulled my dress above my head and dropped it on the other couch. I faced him then took off my bra and panties. As I knelt he said, “Very nice. Eyes down.”

My eyes were lowered already but now I knew not to raise them, he rarely specifies that. “Arms at your sides. Remember, what I said?” I knew immediately and nodded.  A race of adrenaline shot through me. I was finally with him after a month of no Daddy and now I would be tested by Master too.  I was giddy and nervous all at once. 

Lifestyle Characters

As we move around in this lifestyle Mr. D and I have taken on many personae. Purists would shun our behavior, I have no doubt.  

In exploring our interests and one another we’ve each tried on a few different characters. They all fall on our own distinct side of the slash but they each relate to the others differently. Mr. D is and always will be dominant. There is no changing that immutable fact. No matter what persona he dons it is decidedly in the lead.  

I am always and primarily submissive. There is no changing that part of who I am. It is a permanent part of me.  

As we began to explore, Mr. D loved the Daddy/baby girl dynamic. I had never experienced it before. I understood it and was willing to try. I knew a baby girl was submissive so felt I could take this on. Fast forward a few years and I truly enjoy being a baby girl. 

The Daddy role suits Mr. D perfectly. He is always watchful and taking care of me. Even when he’s the one to hurt me he’s the first to make sure I’m okay. Even when we have plain vanilla sex he makes sure I’m ok afterwards.  I love being his baby girl.  I love how he considers me in all he does, how he plans ahead, and how me protects me. It took putting me into a vulnerable baby girl mindset to open me as deeply as he has. I trust him more than I’ve trusted anyone with my heart and my body. 

As we have grown in our dynamic Mr. D has asked me about the desires in my submissive heart. I’ve told him of my secret dream of being slave or kajira. I crave the intensity and the full immersion of that role. Something about me wants the ultimate test. I want to be his prized possession, his greatest asset. I want to be owned by him. I ache to serve and relinquish all of myself to him. It is not easy. In fact it can be very hard and for some reason I crave that. The more stern he is and the more demanding, the faster I slip into subspace. Why? We’ve explored that too. No matter the why, the reason it works is because it is a release and a challenge for me. In those moments of deep service all else disappears, all that remains is his desire. That pinpoint of darkness, that razor’s edge of focus is my happy place. In those moments I feel like we merge into one whole.

Before I left home on Friday to come see him, Mr. D texted me that Stern Master would be taking control this visit. He told me to be ready. He said he had been too lenient for far too long. “Be ready,” his text said. I knew what that meant. Daddy would be put away and a more rigid and controlling personality would take his place. Stern Master doesn’t let me get away with anything. He wants and he takes. He does not protect as Daddy does, he expects service and expects it with no excuses. 

Is this Mr. D’s natural personality? Yes and no. It is not the primary one. His primary is Daddy. In his most relaxed and most comfortable, he is Daddy. When his darkness takes over, he is Master. Does this mean Master is any less him? No. Less comfortable perhaps but no less him. 

My baby girl, submissive, slave, slut and whore all serve him. No matter the name, no matter the inflection of voice, when he calls, I answer. When he commands, I obey. 

Exposed

The first night in Cancun, Mr. D greeted me at the door of the hotel.  I came in on a later flight and took a shuttle to the hotel.  

As we sat with the Concierge to get my key to our room, Mr. D told me, “I am a little drunk.  I got El Jefe drunk at the swim-up pool bar today.  I am sunburnt and we made ALL the friends.” That’s my man.  One day in Cancun and he made friends with everyone and trashed himself and his best friend.  Love him!  He is all out sometimes and I love that about him. 


He walked me to our room showing me the hotel and then opening the door to our perfect oasis for the week.  The room was a vision in tropical white. White linens, white leather couches, white bar and white curtains.  The room had a patio out to the pool, a sauna tub and the shower I already mentioned.  The bar was a full bar.  


It was magical and we had it all to ourselves for a full week.  Life was good! It was late but I was hungry from a long day of travel. We ordered room service for me then relaxed on the bed. One thing led to another and Daddy soon had his face buried in my crotch.  We hadn’t seen each other in a month. He had me so turned on.  At about the point I was writhing on the bed he crawled up to whisper in my ear, his hand taking over where his mouth had been. 

“I want to fuck my slut but room service is coming soon. Maybe I’ll have my little whore answer the door naked.” I moaned as he made me hotter and wetter with his hands and his taunts. 

“Yes, I think I will have you answer the door just like this.  Or maybe,” He pulled his shorts down then and took out his cock. “I’ll make you walk to the door with my cum dripping out of you like a dirty whore should.”  With that he fucked me hard and fast all the while my mind is reeling from the thought of exposing myself to the room service guy soon to arrive on our doorstep. Daddy knows how to twist me up so tightly.

I shuddered with the pleasure of his cock pounding me. I looked into his slightly drunken eyes and thought he might be drunk enough to make me do it.  Would I answer the door naked and used? The unanswered question plunked around in my head as he fucked me.

Then, the knock came at the door. I’m sure my eyes widened as round as saucers.  Daddy pulled his cock out of me and pulled up his shorts. “Don’t move.” He said. His voice hard as nails.  I thought, he’s going to bring the guy into the room while I’m naked on the bed. I knew I couldn’t move but at the last second threw the sheet over my bare ass so I was partially covered. 

Daddy walked back into the room alone with a tray of food. I breathed a sigh of relief until, “I didn’t say you could cover yourself.” Damn, caught.

Soon, I was on the ottoman at the end of the bed and he finished fucking me in that position.  We love ottomans. So, that was my welcome to Mexico.

Cry if You Must

“Kneel for me by the bed. Take the vibrator and put it on your clit,” he said. I did as told.

Already I was defeated. I knew this would be fruitless. I had no delusions that I’d be able to give him an orgasm this way. My body was decidedly not ready to be turned on. Have you ever had those days?  One where you knew it was going to take a lot to get your motor running?

I told myself to push those defeatist thoughts out of my mind and damned well do what Daddy wanted. I got on my knees near to the bed.  He laid on the bed so our faces were close together.  I was naked and put the vibrator on my clit on low speed.  As Daddy talked in my ear, my body warmed to the idea. The vibration awakened my clit and it began to feel good. 

All the while, Daddy talked in my ear.  “You’re my good little slut, my whore and you’re going to give me what I want aren’t you?”

I cringed. I was certain my knees would give out far faster than my mind would submit and allow me an orgasm. I whimpered in agreement and kept going. 

The more he talked the more my body responded.  His filthy talk and the names he called me spun into a sinful cyclone of pleasure.  I ached to obey. I longed for him to keep going, to debase me further. 

“You’re my dirty cum whore.  You will cum for me.” Damn, I wanted to so badly.  My knees were shooting pain but my body was finally kicking into high gear. 

I whimpered again.  I was getting frustrated with myself.  There seemed no passing a certain point, no thrusting myself over the edge.  The pain in my knees was interfering with my progress.  I looked up to him as my body slumped on the side of the bed. “Cry if you must but you will cum for me.”  He turned the vibrator to high.

Damn! I swear if I had any hope of cumming in this position that would have sent me over the edge.  That was fucking hot! All the times I ached for Harsh Daddy flooded into my mind…every last fantasy that he now fulfilled.  

It occurred to me that my feet were now completely asleep.  I cried and kept that cursed vibrator where he wanted it though.  I’d be damned if I was going to let my Fantasy Dom Incarnate down after he gave me what I always craved. Fuck. 

Finally, I looked up to him with tears in my eyes.  I was so dejected that my body had no hope of rising above the pain to achieve the goal he demanded. “What is it, slut?” He asked.

I paused and agonized but finally said, “My knees are in pain and my feet are asleep Daddy.  May I please stop?”  He gave me permission. 

Later he asked why on earth I didn’t call my safe word earlier, but really how could I?  This is what I’ve always wanted. 

Leaving on a Jet Plane

Time to go back home to my responsibilities. I have had another beautiful and perfect weekend with Daddy and Master.  I call him both now for he has become two.  More than that really.  He is my everything.  My husband-to-be, my muse though he calls me his, my protective Daddy and my stern Master.  

I have not admitted this and granted I’m realizing this as I write it but I need challenge, I need struggle, I can become distracted and bored with less.  My mind is ever active, ever working and ever analyzing.  Daddy and I are more alike in this than I knew. 

He fits me so well.  He told me tonight that I fit him like a glove.  He’s so right. Our bodies fit together but moreso than that, our minds fit together.  He challenges me.  He is relentless in exploring our chemistry.  He finds his way inside my mind, centering my passion, delving to the depths of all that is me.  He worked his way in, he broke the fortress I had become.  With his kind heart, his reprobate swagger, and his force of will all governed by his engineer’s mind he took me and made me his. 

How do I go home tomorrow?  How do I part myself from him when I am so cleaved to him that I feel half a person?  All I want is to shut the world out and live in a dream of service to this man. I want to allow him to debase me, lay me bare, then raise me up from the ashes he created to build me again in the image he sees. 

Kneeling

I kneel to him to honor my Master and his control of me.  I am here next to my bed.  My knees burning.  It has been a long hiatus and my body is rebelling.  It is my just punishment.  

My Master deserves so much more than I currently give him.  He is caring and honorable. He is thoughtful of others and keeps a whole list of found-family as part of his care circle. 

It is my wish to serve him in every way, every day.  So, today I kneel.  I picture him in front of me.  His fingers pushing my chin up so my gaze is captured in his.  His hot breath soon on my neck.  His words, oh my god, his words etching carnal sin on my soul.

Today, I kneel, to honor but also to feel him.  To know that I am wholly his chattel, his girl, his slave. That I will do as he commands, that I will choose subjugation, that I will debase myself, and that I will be as dirty as he commands.  All of this, I do for him.