Longing

The other night Daddy and I had some unexpected alone time.  Living together has been amazing but one change is that I see Daddy every day not just the times I’m free from parenting.  So, having alone time together is just as much a ‘thing’ as it was before but different somehow.  Now, I get to see him every day but not every day is sexual time.  Now, all our time is together.  One result of this is we can’t have sex every time the mood strikes, another is we’re not missing each other so desperately by the time we get to be alone.

I long for our alone time.  Monday while we were having sex, I got so turned on and so wound up.  I felt really close to subspace without any dominance pushing me there. I felt that frenzy of need.  Looking back, I think it was a matter of seeing Daddy all week but not having that sexual time whenever we want it.  It is like a slow burn.  It resides in the background until a match is lit.

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Marathon Sex – Part II

When I had walked in the house that night, I had been a little harried, a little tired but eager to see Mr. D. I wanted him, I always do, but when I haven’t put my day behind me sufficiently it takes time for me to switch gears.  When Mr. D grabbed me and dominated me so thoroughly, it took me completely away from my day and my stresses.  Once we stopped to let him breathe and our mood broke for those few moments, I could tell that I still had some letting go to do.  His dominance had allowed me to refocus on him but all my angst from the day was still there waiting in the wings.

We relaxed a little bit and then he put me on my back at the edge of the bed in front of his big chair. He pushed my knees up to my chest. “Hold them there.  Don’t let them down.”

“Ok Daddy.” I said. I was on edge, I knew what was coming and I really didn’t feel ready for it.  His lips settled around my clit and Daddy began to suck.  He grabs onto my clit and sucks it relentlessly.  The feelings are so intense so fast. There is no transition.  I go from Okay, okay, I can handle this to Oh God, it’s so much to wanting to beg him to stop then knowing he won’t until finally either my mind or my body gives in and I start to take it and respond in an almost volatile way to the passion he brings on.

Once he had me in this precarious place, he pushed his fingers into my pussy. God, I love that so much.  He pushed me further into ecstasy with the feelings of his thick finger filling me.  With little warning, another finger rubbed my asshole and pushed in there too.  I railed up against the sensation.  It felt so raw and somewhat uncomfortable.  Anal is dicey sometimes.  Either it works and everything is smooth going or it starts uncomfortable and works its way to a good place.  Every once in a while it just doesn’t work at all.  Thus the question mark that is always in my mind when we start. How is it going to feel this time?  And when I’m not completely relaxed to start with, haven’t let go of my day, it’s harder still.

He saw me jump and I let go of my legs. “Relax baby girl.” He said and slowed his pace but he didn’t stop.  I squirmed, not in a good way, while he worked his finger in my ass.  He wasn’t taking no for an answer tonight.  I tried to bring my legs back up and put my feet on his knees for a moment to situate. “You can leave them there.” He said.  With my feet on his knees, I had some control over my position, somewhere to push and move a bit.  He took out the Hitachi.  I cringed.  “Oh no, Daddy.”  I whined pitifully.” I knew what that meant.  He wanted me to come for him.  But with my day not put away, I knew it was going to be hard.

“Oh yes, baby girl.” He said while positioning the wand on my clit and turning it on. The vibration began to work against my angst.  I felt my traitorous body respond even further to what Daddy had already started.  His fingers filled my ass and my pussy together now.  “Play with your nipples slut.” He was giving it all to me.  His mouth, now his hands and then the vibration launched me into a shaking, grinding bout of pleasure.   My legs shook uncontrollably while my feet lost their footing on his knees several times.  His words coaxed me closer and closer to orgasm even while my mind fought him.  No, I don’t want this. Yes, I do!  What insane person doesn’t want this?  Why fight it, damn it?  The shit that goes through my addled mind when I’m being controlled by him is insanity.

“You’re going to come for me slut.” I shook my head no. “Don’t you tell me no.  Oh yes, you are. I want it.  Come for me now!”  My body convulsed and convulsed but didn’t give in.  The anal probing didn’t get any more comfortable but it just added to the onslaught at that point.  The pleasure, the pain, the discomfort, the control, “Give in!” I screamed inside my head.  I began a sort of mantra I’ve begun to use to come for him.  Every time I come now, and for the past many months, this is what puts me over the edge. “Come for Daddy, come for Daddy.  Come for Daddy!” I say it to myself over and over.  He commands it and I must obey.  I mumbled it over and over to myself.  I think I said it out loud, too.   My body or my mind finally gave and I convulsed over and over and over.  “I’m coming Daddy!!!”

“That’s it, that’s my good little come slut. Come for Daddy.” My body bucked and rolled against the vibrations and his hand. I finally calmed.  It had taken so much to get there, so much to get over that mountain.  I panted and sat up fall into his arms.  I needed to feel him hold me, to feel his warmth and protection.

Fun and Games

Yesterday I went to my Ex’s birthday party. It was a really big step for him to invite me to anything so I went happily even though Mr. D wasn’t invited.  My Ex has come a long way but not quite as far as inviting my new Honey to his party.  Oh well, I took it as a good sign and so did my son who was thrilled.

I had a great time at the party. I was able to visit with family members and high school friends I hadn’t seen in years. During the party I checked my phone at one point and had 4 texts from Daddy.  Whoops, I hadn’t had my phone on me to hear them.   He sent me several provocative graphics with sayings on them relating to us.  I felt warm and turned on from them.  I texted him and went back to the party.  After a while, the party was slowing down.  I did flirt with one old high school friend and it was a lot of fun.  I checked my phone and Daddy had left a message that he couldn’t help it, he was jealous and my Ex didn’t deserve me coming to his party.  I felt his ire coming through the phone from those many miles away so I said my goodbyes and texted Daddy that I was on my way.

When I arrived home I heard Daddy’s voice as I came through the door. It surprised me that he was still awake, he usually goes to bed early.  But here he was, “That’s one sexy bitch comin’ through the door.” He and his roomie were sitting in the living room. “I’m drunk!” He says, as I sit down and give him a kiss.  Now I understand the jealous text.  It had sounded just a little more blatantly honest than normal.

We chitchatted a little, I told him about a high school friend I saw during the evening that I had the hots for. It was fun to tell Daddy about it. I share everything with him.  

“You can go to your Ex’s party, you can flirt with other men, but I will always be the one behind your walls, the only one who got in.” 

I was snuggled against him and looked up to him when he said that.  “Yes Daddy, you are the only one.”

We went to the bedroom.  He was in quite a teasing mood.  I hadn’t had a drink all night but I had one as soon as I got home seeing the state Daddy was in.  When we starting fucking I could tell he was pretty tipsy.  He said he wanted to fuck my face but he wasn’t sure because he was slightly drunk.  BDSM is not something you should ever do drunk and Daddy is very aware of that.  I said I wanted to anyway.  He said, “I’m nervous about this because I’ve been drinking.  You will push me away if it gets to be too much for you, understand?” I nodded.  I had no reservations.  Even drunk, Daddy is very careful.

I hung my head over the side of the bed and Daddy mounted my face. His cock forced into my mouth and I closed my eyes to dive into the feelings full force.  His cock fucked my mouth deeply and oh so well.  I had been out dancing and fortunately my sinuses were completely clear.  I love it when I’m in a good place breath-wise.  Even if Daddy was slightly impaired I knew I was in a much better place with my oxygen intact.  He fucked my face and I took it all.  He was so deep into my throat.  Mmm, so very nice.

After that, Daddy made me lie down on the bed and he began to fuck me. Actually, he began to fuck with me.  He loves teasing the heck out of me.  He kept putting it in but not all the way.  He was fucking me with just the tip.  The more he did it the more I was getting annoyed.  I knew damned well what he was doing.  He was too tipsy to hide it.  He was just fucking with me for the hell of it.

“What’s wrong baby? Don’t you like it?” He slurred.

“Nothing, I love it.” He was not winning this.

“You like it?”

“I love it Daddy.” I was getting so fed up with the teasing. I just wanted him to fuck me already.  I had been without him all evening, flirting with other men and now I was dying to get fucked hard.  He knew it and was being his most exasperating self just to fuck with me.

He slid the tip in and out. He slid himself around the outside of my pussy giving me constant contact but no leverage, no power.  He’s drunk, I thought. Just leave it.  Let him fuck with you and don’t make a fuss.  But no, he kept taunting me.

“What’s wrong baby, don’t you like it?” Ugh, I was going to throttle him soon if he didn’t fuck me silly.

Finally, I had had enough. “Fucker!!!” I yelled at him. I didn’t care what he thought or did at that point; he was getting exactly what I was thinking.  Collar be damned.

“Oh ho, I’m a fucker, am I?” I was beyond caring, I laughed.

“Yes, you are!” Damn it, he had pushed me too far. He pulled out and stopped fucking me entirely.  Crap, I had done it now.  He moved down my body and his mouth landed on my pussy.

“I’m a fucker, am I? Well, we’ll just see who’s the fucker.” His lips made contact with my clit and he sucked hard. I convulsed from the intensity of the suction on my already swollen clit.  He kept up the onslaught of his tongue on my clit for a long time.

“What am I?” He was goading me.

“You’re a fucker.” But the heat had gone from me now. I had used everything I had to wind up to calling him that the first time.

“Not good enough! You can do better than that.” He mouth latched onto my clit again with even more power. God, I was beyond any control at that point.

“Fucker!” I yelled at him again.

“Come on, that’s not going to do it. I’m not fucking you until you say it again like the first time.” He was so infuriating. I gave up.  There was just no way I could repeat the heat and passion behind the first expletive I let out.  He kept at my clit and my pussy for a long time after that but the heat had gone out of me by then.  He kept me on the brink of orgasm for a long time.

“You win, I give up!” He took himself out of my crotch and lay down to go to sleep. I couldn’t believe he gave up.  He never lets me win.  But he did then.  Not that I wanted to win like that at all. There was no way I was reliving the intensity of the first outburst again.

After a good laugh, we went to bed. For the rest of the weekend, that’s been a predominant part of conversation.

“How are you doing baby girl? Fucker!”

Collared

I usually write everything in chronological order. Today though, I’m changing that up a bit.  I’m sitting in Mr. D’s room in my new collar and nothing else.  He commanded me to write and to be naked while I did so for him.  I have so much to tell you and I may not get through it all so I thought I’d start with now and work my way back in time.

This morning while Mr. D washed up from the gym, I made us a small breakfast. We ate and talked with his roomie and laughed about last night.  I’ll tell you about last night in the next post.  We were lounging on the couch and Mr. D said, “I want you to go dust my dresser please.” I looked up at him.  This is his new command for me while in public.  This means I’m to drop what I’m doing and go to his room.  I strip and put my collar on then present himself to him on my knees.

I looked up to him for a moment, gauging the seriousness of the order. We had just been laughing and joking, I needed to be sure.  “Now.” He said gently but in a tone that left no doubt.  That was all the confirmation I needed.  I walked into the room and took off my clothes.  I took my collar out of his drawer and started to put it on.  I had not yet put it on myself and was still fiddling with it when Mr. D came in the room.  He turned me around and finished buckling it while I held my hair out of the way.  Once I was collared, I knelt at the foot of his bed, legs spread, hands clasped behind my back, eyes downcast.

He stepped over me to get behind me. I thought he needed something in a dresser drawer but then I felt him against my back.  His hand curled around my neck caressing my sensitive skin above the collar and pulling my gaze up to him.  His hand continued downward, caressing my chest and my breasts.  From one side to the other, his hand caressed and tugged at my nipples.  His other hand pulled my hair back and my eyes met his.  He was so close behind me that I felt a drop of his come land on my clasped hands.  He was as turned on as I was in that moment and I was awed at such a provocative sign of that.  I rubbed the droplet into my skin as he got onto the bed and lay down before me.

“You may rise.” He said as he lay on the bed stroking his cock. I rose to my feet and stood at the end of the bed. “Put your left foot on the edge of the bed and touch your clit.” I lifted my foot and placed it on the footboard.  My hand rubbed my clit while I tried my best to keep my eyes down.  I watched him stroke his cock while I worked my fingers over my already swollen clit.  “Imagine you are an art piece tied and bound in a museum.  You have the hands of many strangers touching you, feeling your face, your body.  They see you and have their hands in your hair, their fingers in your sex.  You are blindfolded and Daddy’s voice whispers in your ear.   You see a void now.  All you know is my voice.  All you feel and sense is me.  Look at my cock.” I was transfixed by the images he created.  I looked at his cock in his hand.  He was so hard.  “You want Daddy’s cock, don’t you?”

“Yes, Daddy, I do.” I could feel the silkiness of him even as I watched.

“There is a lot of pre-come dripping from me because of you. Come lick it off.”  I crawled onto the bed between his legs and licked the come from the tip of his cock.  He continued to talk to me but my attention was captivated by his taste and the feel of his cock on my tongue.  The sensation of him in my mouth is like no other.  The silken skin over the hardness of his muscle drives me to distraction.  And right then he was so very hard; harder and thicker than usual.  I put my lips around the head and circled my tongue around him.  I pulled him deep into my mouth.  I wanted to fill my throat with his girth.  Once I had him all the way in my mouth with my lips wrapped around the base I felt his leg come up around my back.  He pulled his leg in close and I was pushed down on his cock. He began to pull his leg in and out on the back of my neck fucking my throat with his cock.  The mixed feelings of his strong leg forcing me down and his cock fucking my mouth were impassioned.  Just when I was out of air, he would release me and say, “Catch your breath.” As soon as I did then he would wrap his leg around me again.  It was so hot.

Afterwards he fucked me for a short time. He chose not to come and stopped us after a while.  While he was fucking me, though, he saw a look on my face.  “What is that?” He asked.  I couldn’t put it into words.  I was aching for him.  I couldn’t say that right then.  I didn’t know that’s what it was.  His eyes were on me, I felt exposed.  “Ohhh, I see.  It’s need.” I nodded finally.  “Tell me.”

“I need you.”

“Not good enough. Try again.”

“I need you Sir. I need you to use me. I need your domination.” I whispered.  I felt the heat in me rise.  I felt so exposed to him.

“Again.” He said. I moaned. Not again, I thought.

“Sir, I need you to use me! I need to be your fuck toy!” It took everything I had to say it loudly, to say it to him.  He fucked me harder then and as quickly stopped.

“No.” He said as he lay beside me. I was on my stomach next to him.  As our breathing returned to normal I could feel how deep down the rabbit hole this mind fuck sent me.

As we rested he said, “Dust.” My new position is to have my face level with his cock, my cheek on his thigh and my body wrapped around his leg. I feel so completely submissive to him in this position.  My only view is of his manhood.  I am slave to him now, this is my place.

While I’ve been writing this, he was having a drink and a smoke. He just came in and undressed.  He lay on the bed before me and began to masturbate. I could barely concentrate on the writing.  My pussy is throbbing.  The sounds of the porn and the sounds of his hand covered with lube stroking him cock are driving me mad.  I am sitting like a good girl but all I want to do is be with him.  I want to hear him yell out and come deep inside me.  We’ve had sex several times this weekend and he hasn’t come.  Now, I am collared and slave.  His come is for him to give and me to take as he chooses.  As turned on as I am, I’m also saddened.  I will learn that when I’m collared it is not for me to want but for me to serve.  I will take my joy in serving him and in being dominated.  It is a wildly more intoxicating gift than any other desire I have.

“Slut, come here.” I put aside the laptop and sat on the bed by his stroking hand. I could tell by his breathing that he was very close.  I put my lips on the head right above his hands and as he came I sucked all his come in my mouth.  He shoved me down on his shaft and convulsed as I swallowed his load.

“Thank you.” I heard him say as he convulsed the last time. My happiness in my place is so present now.

“Thank you, Sir.”

Happy Valentine’s Day.

Buying Time

“Lie on the bed, face down.” His voice was firm; I knew not to deny him. I was face down on the bed, breathing through the sheet and a swath of hair. I couldn’t see what he took from the table or drawer. I felt his hands on me. I was surprised by the order. He had cut himself in a vulnerable place, right at the base of his sex. I was on my period. It seemed to me we weren’t doing anything that night. But, oh, we were.

We have a very difficult time with ‘no, you can’t play because x,y,z happened so you shouldn’t right now.’ It just makes one or the both of us rebel. He had stroked my neck and that always sends me deep into submission. He grabs my neck, teases me by stroking that very vulnerable area and when he does I’m his. I can’t deny him, can’t even remember to try. Once he started that, I had to touch him. I had to feel his hardness in my hand. It was an imperative. “Please, may I?” I must ask before I’m allowed to suck him or even go down in that area.

“No.” Damn it. I hate hearing no and it makes me gush at the same time. Traitorous submissive psyche. Love, hate. Love, hate. They are so interminably entwined. But then he acquiesced. “Yes. But be careful.” I had him in my mouth quickly. It was divine. The silky, girthy feel of him in my mouth. Yes. I was careful not to go down all the way.  I tipped my mouth and lips so I could get him all the way to the back of my throat but still not touch the cut in the front.

Then he gave me the order.  On my face on the bed as instructed. He slapped my ass and the sting was so good. I couldn’t see where this was going. An exercise in frustration? He put a little vibrator in my hand so I wiggled my hand under my body and pressed the vibe to my clit.  He grabbed me and held me while warming my ass with spankings.  Soon I was purring into the bedsheets.  I love spankings.  He wasn’t ramping up the intensity, he kept it mild and erotic.  Then the falls of the flogger struck me.  He was at my middle and it felt like he was holding the flogger with only a short length of the falls moving.  Sometimes I see an image of what he’s doing in my mind even though I’m face down.  Actually, I do that a lot.  I’m not sure why.  I think because flogging is a learned skill and his skill at it intrigues me.  He seemed to be holding the falls so that he had the proper hits even though he was in close proximity.  

Intermittently he grabbed my hair and pulled hard.  When he was on top of me to do this, his body pressed down on mine and the vibe would lance in giving me a jolt. Immediately after the flogger I felt an entirely new sensation.  It was biting and had the quality of tapping.  It bit me all over my back and buttocks.  I squirmed but not too much.  The sensation was quite bearable.  I love sensation play and loved wondering what he was doing. 

His body covered mine and I felt his luxurious weight on mine.  It makes me feel so raw, so taken.  His groin ground into my ass dry humping me while the rhythm of it moved the vibe in provocative ways. “Keep doing that Daddy.” I wanted more. He pulled back to tease my asshole and probe me there.  The more he plays with my ass the more I want it.  Odd that each time he starts in, after we haven’t done it in a while, I am hesitant and it feels unnatural.  But the intense sensation builds and quickly turns into a pleasure I can’t resist.  It’s an odd combination of “Oh no, please don’t but oh please do that again!”  Strange.
After he stopped, he told me it was the cane that he was using.  He tapped lightly and I hadn’t even known it was the cane.  The stingy scary part of the cane wasn’t even present.

While we were talking he was holding the cane.  As he stroked my neck I realized his eyes had sharpened on me and his Dominance had taken hold. The darkness was on him. “Don’t move slut.” The cane rose up and came down on my nipple.  Oh heavenly god, that hurt.  But he wasn’t even trying yet.  “Hold them up.” I whimpered but still gathered my breasts together to present them to him. I know I had some wounded look on my face and he hadn’t done anything yet.  I was scared. He pulled back and caned my nipple harder this time.  I whimpered again as the sting burned through my chest.  The look on his face took my breath away.  He was eager for my fear, I could see him reveling in it.  Finally, before I had a chance to cringe he pulled back and caned the other nipple.  The fire and the burn cut through me so hard, I dropped my breasts and rolled over to find a fetal position.  I cried out in pain.  It burned through my ultra-sensitive nipple and took my breath away.

“You, my little slut, are going to get on your knees at my desk and I’m going to fill your face with my cum” grab a pillow.  I followed orders and knelt between his legs at the desk.  He pulled up some porn while I sucked him and filled my mouth with his cock. The closer he got the more I sucked.  Close to the end, he took over stroking and had my lips awaiting his load.

As he stroked I asked him, “Do you want to cum on my face or in my mouth Daddy?” He smiled and I could see him thinking.  

“Where do you want it slut?” 

“I want to swallow it Daddy.”

He stroked a few more times and just as I lifted up on my knees and brought my face closer he pushed into my mouth and filled me with his seed.  He jerked and shuddered and I sucked down every drop.