Cry if You Must

“Kneel for me by the bed. Take the vibrator and put it on your clit,” he said. I did as told.

Already I was defeated. I knew this would be fruitless. I had no delusions that I’d be able to give him an orgasm this way. My body was decidedly not ready to be turned on. Have you ever had those days?  One where you knew it was going to take a lot to get your motor running?

I told myself to push those defeatist thoughts out of my mind and damned well do what Daddy wanted. I got on my knees near to the bed.  He laid on the bed so our faces were close together.  I was naked and put the vibrator on my clit on low speed.  As Daddy talked in my ear, my body warmed to the idea. The vibration awakened my clit and it began to feel good. 

All the while, Daddy talked in my ear.  “You’re my good little slut, my whore and you’re going to give me what I want aren’t you?”

I cringed. I was certain my knees would give out far faster than my mind would submit and allow me an orgasm. I whimpered in agreement and kept going. 

The more he talked the more my body responded.  His filthy talk and the names he called me spun into a sinful cyclone of pleasure.  I ached to obey. I longed for him to keep going, to debase me further. 

“You’re my dirty cum whore.  You will cum for me.” Damn, I wanted to so badly.  My knees were shooting pain but my body was finally kicking into high gear. 

I whimpered again.  I was getting frustrated with myself.  There seemed no passing a certain point, no thrusting myself over the edge.  The pain in my knees was interfering with my progress.  I looked up to him as my body slumped on the side of the bed. “Cry if you must but you will cum for me.”  He turned the vibrator to high.

Damn! I swear if I had any hope of cumming in this position that would have sent me over the edge.  That was fucking hot! All the times I ached for Harsh Daddy flooded into my mind…every last fantasy that he now fulfilled.  

It occurred to me that my feet were now completely asleep.  I cried and kept that cursed vibrator where he wanted it though.  I’d be damned if I was going to let my Fantasy Dom Incarnate down after he gave me what I always craved. Fuck. 

Finally, I looked up to him with tears in my eyes.  I was so dejected that my body had no hope of rising above the pain to achieve the goal he demanded. “What is it, slut?” He asked.

I paused and agonized but finally said, “My knees are in pain and my feet are asleep Daddy.  May I please stop?”  He gave me permission. 

Later he asked why on earth I didn’t call my safe word earlier, but really how could I?  This is what I’ve always wanted. 

Punishment

The minute I woke up I knew I had failed him.  I felt awful that I had not completed my homework.  On top of knowing I had failed to obey him, I had an extra dirty layer of guilt because I hadn’t wanted to obey in the first place. 

When he texted me, I knew I would have to report my failure. “How was your homework last night?” He asked.

“I fell asleep before I was able to complete it Daddy, I’m so sorry.”

“Well, we’ll talk about that when I see you tomorrow night lover. Have a great day.” He texted.

Ooo, now that was ominous. A few minutes later he asked, “What time was it before everyone left?”

I answered, then he asked, “And when did the boy finally settle down and go to sleep?”  I answered again.

“Ok, thank you darlin.” He was killing me with his calm methodical questions.  His analytical mind needed data so Master could decide if and what punishment would be a reciprocal response. 

I was flying to be with him the next day.  I didn’t have long to wait to see what the verdict was but it was going to be an interminable wait nonetheless.

I wondered about the punishment.  I  knew I deserved to be punished.  I knew Daddy was weighing the options.  I knew he could let me off because I was tired and he knew it.  I knew he could make it play punishment and we could have fun playing the roles.  I also knew he’d want to be lenient because we’re in this weird limbo because we’re living four states apart right now. 

Secretly, I didn’t want any of those options.  I hadn’t planned this but now that punishment was on the table, I wanted to be truly punished. As a submissive walking the line into slavehood, I want more than anything to feel his power.  I want to feel the yoke on my neck and know I’m being led by a strong hand. 

He picked me up from the airport on Friday and I was giddy to see him and touch him.  Finally, I had my Love in reach again.  He fulfills me.  Me makes my heart whole. Along with my joy was expectation.  What would happen?  He knew it and I knew it. 

We got to the apartment and he sent me to the kitchen for drinks.  He followed. “Arms on the counter in front of you.” Oh god, already? I giggled nervously and bent over the counter, ass out.  I was in a lacey blue dress for him. He threw up the skirt exposing my ass.  His hand caressed my cheeks then he ever so lightly tapped on each cheek with the palm of his hand pulling my skirt back down afterwards.

“You may finish getting the drinks.” He went about putting things away giving me a little smirk in the process. He knew I was waiting and wondering.  He was toying with me. 

(To be continued…)

Edging

I took a bath, I wanted to be a clean slut to perform the acts you commanded of me. We are a dichotomy of light and dark, clean and dirty, pure and sinful. This felt right. 

I shaved in preparation.  I wanted to be most pleasing.  Naked and glistening, I knelt at my bedside with lube and a new toy on the bed in front of me.  The plug we use is with you so I found another.  Black as sin, six inches long and made for pleasuring the prostate…it would do. 

I placed it at the tight entrance to my ass, all the tighter for not having been used for a month.  The bulbous head was larger than expected.  I gasped as it stretched me uncomfortably.  I added more lube and finally succeeded.  

The phallus filled my ass.  All the length of it was now buried inside me for you. I knelt at my bed and turned on the vibration.  Yessss, that’s good, I thought.  I wondered if this would push me too far.  I was going to find out.

You told me to think of you, of your cock stretching me, filling me.  I did Daddy and of your hand on my throat, your fingers crowding my mouth as you forced me to look at you, to give you every  possible scrap of my attention. You had it, I am your slave, all of me including my attention is yours. 

I moved to lay on the bed naked, the plug rumbling in my ass.  I touched myself.  I caressed my breasts.  I rolled my nipples and pinched them until they were tight pearls of neediness. I pushed the plug in further until it was to the hilt.  I pulled on it, fucked myself with it for you.  I knew you’d want to Daddy.  

I touched my pussy for you. Smooth, plump and open, the pussy you own responded.  Liquid music flowed from my fingertips to the vibrating plug.  As my fingers danced upon these strings of pleasure, your slut’s body answered the chords you plucked with notes of its own. 

The more your cock invaded my mind the more the notes of my need followed your tune.  The wildness of our fucking was the rhythm to which my body moved.  So hot, so needy, I begged you to pound me with percussive force.  I arched to meet your thrusts and too soon, so soon a crescendo.  

Rippling vibrations flowed over my trembling body.  My fingers stopped, precursing staccato jolts rocked me.  Breathe slave breathe. One refrain played, two more must follow. The tune in my mind shifted.  It was a simple song, one of dark intent.  I felt your heat and your malice flow. I wanted your hidden power…the danger.

You had me on my face, a vice grip in my hair.  My ass raised for you, your words invading my mind.  This stanza would be the devil’s play.  You fill my mind with fear and lay me bare.  Your words dance upon my soul and lift me from the foulest places.  In my depravity, I match yours.  This duet of darkness is all that my soul desires.  Every sinful song I can sing is no match to this, to your power over me.  I am your instrument, a sonnet of sin to be played upon body and soul. 

Again, I reach the edge and a shuddering shaking preamble lays me bare.  I should fear the third and final verse but I don’t.  Far from it.  I am taken away by this piece now, your concerto.  I am your wanton slut, I have taken your drug in full now and like any addict I want more and more and more. 

Eagerly I touch myself, I don’t savor the sounds anymore.  I wallow in the cacophony like a pig in slop.  I have sinned and there is no penance that will bring me back. My fingers slide in the slick smear of juices that have flowed as you played. I want more, I want it all.  I want to bath in your ecstasy, I want it to continue endlessly.  But no!  All too soon, I’m shuddering.  Such a betrayer, my body.  Why so soon?  I wanted this song to play forever.  I stopped touching, I had to or else I’d go over into the abyss. 

Homework

I received this command tonight. 

I am probably heading to bed soon.  your directions. Strip. 

Kneel and insert the plug. While kneeling beside the bed think of my voice in your ears…  

When you think you have served enough climb onto the bed and caress your breasts. Pull on my nipples and feel my touch. My need.   

Then bring yourself just short of orgasm. Short of orgasm Slut. You will do this thrice. After which you will remove the plug.

YOU ARE NOT TO COME. You are my plaything. My instrument. This is my concerto. Do this for me. Do it well my love and I shall reward you.

Obey

Daddy and I went on a romantic weekend trip recently.  While we were in town we saw a long time friend of his.  This was the first time I had met his friend and I think it had been many years since Daddy had seen him.

Daddy had told me that they had played sexually before.  Him, his friend (also male) and their wives/girlfriends had all played sexually together. So theirs had been an intimate friendship.  I had never met this friend before but I knew of Daddy’s poly past.  This was one of the reasons we had chosen an open relationship after all. 

Daddy told me that his friend was a breast man and to dress for the occasion.  I chose a low cut dress to honor Daddy and be his arm candy.  I knew Daddy would be pleased to show me off. 

When his friend arrived we talked for a few minutes in the hotel.  Daddy made some direct comments about my body to his friend.  I can’t now remember the exact comments.  I do remember feeling embarrassed by one comment and when I looked at his friend he had the same pained look on his face that I felt on mine. What was Daddy doing? I wondered to myself. 

We left the hotel and went to dinner.  During the long drive they caught up on things with each other. While we were at the restaurant Daddy again made a lewd comment about me to his friend.  I felt rather like a piece of meat.  I tried to understand what he was doing but I didn’t know his friend and I could only sense discomfort from the man.  

Though we all talked about the lifestyle and his friend having been in the local scene in the past, there was no talk or interest from him in playing with us.  As we arrived back at our hotel, I wondered if Daddy was going to make me play with this man.  He had never ordered me to play with anyone before that I didn’t know. 

We had drinks in the hotel bar.  I felt distant from the conversation.  I was perplexed.  What do I do?  Do as Daddy commands with someone I only just met?  I felt very uncomfortable.  Aside from Daddy making off color comments, there was no chemistry here.  There was nothing at all that made me want to play.  Would I obey if commanded?

After drinks we walked back to the room and his friend took his leave.  Daddy thought my goodnight to the man was a brush off.  Honestly, I couldn’t tell you if it was.  It’s very possible because I’d had enough of the uncertainty.  When his friend made noises to leave I happily let him.

I asked Daddy afterwards what he was trying to do.  He said he liked putting people off balance on purpose.  He asked me about my reactions.  He asked if I would have taken an impromptu order to play if it had been given.  He wondered if the unexpected nature of it was more than I could handle and why was this so.

All good questions.  I’ve only been with a few men.  I’m timid by nature and only like to do things that make people happy not uncomfortable. If that friend had been all over the prospects of playing with us would my response have been different? Probably.  

Did I act like the slave I want to be?  No, I didn’t.  Daddy felt disconnected from me.  I didn’t trust the situation but I should have trusted him.  That is my place, to trust and obey.  I did not. 

Longing

The other night Daddy and I had some unexpected alone time.  Living together has been amazing but one change is that I see Daddy every day not just the times I’m free from parenting.  So, having alone time together is just as much a ‘thing’ as it was before but different somehow.  Now, I get to see him every day but not every day is sexual time.  Now, all our time is together.  One result of this is we can’t have sex every time the mood strikes, another is we’re not missing each other so desperately by the time we get to be alone.

I long for our alone time.  Monday while we were having sex, I got so turned on and so wound up.  I felt really close to subspace without any dominance pushing me there. I felt that frenzy of need.  Looking back, I think it was a matter of seeing Daddy all week but not having that sexual time whenever we want it.  It is like a slow burn.  It resides in the background until a match is lit.

Marathon Sex – Part II

When I had walked in the house that night, I had been a little harried, a little tired but eager to see Mr. D. I wanted him, I always do, but when I haven’t put my day behind me sufficiently it takes time for me to switch gears.  When Mr. D grabbed me and dominated me so thoroughly, it took me completely away from my day and my stresses.  Once we stopped to let him breathe and our mood broke for those few moments, I could tell that I still had some letting go to do.  His dominance had allowed me to refocus on him but all my angst from the day was still there waiting in the wings.

We relaxed a little bit and then he put me on my back at the edge of the bed in front of his big chair. He pushed my knees up to my chest. “Hold them there.  Don’t let them down.”

“Ok Daddy.” I said. I was on edge, I knew what was coming and I really didn’t feel ready for it.  His lips settled around my clit and Daddy began to suck.  He grabs onto my clit and sucks it relentlessly.  The feelings are so intense so fast. There is no transition.  I go from Okay, okay, I can handle this to Oh God, it’s so much to wanting to beg him to stop then knowing he won’t until finally either my mind or my body gives in and I start to take it and respond in an almost volatile way to the passion he brings on.

Once he had me in this precarious place, he pushed his fingers into my pussy. God, I love that so much.  He pushed me further into ecstasy with the feelings of his thick finger filling me.  With little warning, another finger rubbed my asshole and pushed in there too.  I railed up against the sensation.  It felt so raw and somewhat uncomfortable.  Anal is dicey sometimes.  Either it works and everything is smooth going or it starts uncomfortable and works its way to a good place.  Every once in a while it just doesn’t work at all.  Thus the question mark that is always in my mind when we start. How is it going to feel this time?  And when I’m not completely relaxed to start with, haven’t let go of my day, it’s harder still.

He saw me jump and I let go of my legs. “Relax baby girl.” He said and slowed his pace but he didn’t stop.  I squirmed, not in a good way, while he worked his finger in my ass.  He wasn’t taking no for an answer tonight.  I tried to bring my legs back up and put my feet on his knees for a moment to situate. “You can leave them there.” He said.  With my feet on his knees, I had some control over my position, somewhere to push and move a bit.  He took out the Hitachi.  I cringed.  “Oh no, Daddy.”  I whined pitifully.” I knew what that meant.  He wanted me to come for him.  But with my day not put away, I knew it was going to be hard.

“Oh yes, baby girl.” He said while positioning the wand on my clit and turning it on. The vibration began to work against my angst.  I felt my traitorous body respond even further to what Daddy had already started.  His fingers filled my ass and my pussy together now.  “Play with your nipples slut.” He was giving it all to me.  His mouth, now his hands and then the vibration launched me into a shaking, grinding bout of pleasure.   My legs shook uncontrollably while my feet lost their footing on his knees several times.  His words coaxed me closer and closer to orgasm even while my mind fought him.  No, I don’t want this. Yes, I do!  What insane person doesn’t want this?  Why fight it, damn it?  The shit that goes through my addled mind when I’m being controlled by him is insanity.

“You’re going to come for me slut.” I shook my head no. “Don’t you tell me no.  Oh yes, you are. I want it.  Come for me now!”  My body convulsed and convulsed but didn’t give in.  The anal probing didn’t get any more comfortable but it just added to the onslaught at that point.  The pleasure, the pain, the discomfort, the control, “Give in!” I screamed inside my head.  I began a sort of mantra I’ve begun to use to come for him.  Every time I come now, and for the past many months, this is what puts me over the edge. “Come for Daddy, come for Daddy.  Come for Daddy!” I say it to myself over and over.  He commands it and I must obey.  I mumbled it over and over to myself.  I think I said it out loud, too.   My body or my mind finally gave and I convulsed over and over and over.  “I’m coming Daddy!!!”

“That’s it, that’s my good little come slut. Come for Daddy.” My body bucked and rolled against the vibrations and his hand. I finally calmed.  It had taken so much to get there, so much to get over that mountain.  I panted and sat up fall into his arms.  I needed to feel him hold me, to feel his warmth and protection.