A Taste of Dominance

“You’ve seemed stressed the last few days, is it the job offer?” He asked.

“Yes Daddy.” I nodded. Yes, the possibility of Mr. D getting a job in another state has worn on my mind the last few days. 

“It has been on my mind too baby girl. It may or may not happen.  We’ll see.” I appreciated his kindness and his trying to put my mind at ease.

It is our first night of four alone in the house. I didn’t want to focus on this stress right at that moment.  I put my hand on his cock and stroked it through his silky shorts. I love the feel of silky material outlining his flaccid cock. I stroked it.  I enjoyed feeling it begin to grow.

“That’s my little cock.  You want sex, hm?” I smiled and kept rubbing his cock through the shorts.  “Maybe you should strip off your clothes and maybe you should pull off Daddy’s shorts.  Then maybe you could suck Daddy’s cock.” He said.  

“Hm,” I said, “Maybe I will.” I held back a smile.  With all the maybes being proffered, I just couldn’t resist one more.

“Maybe?” He said. “It’s going to be like that is it?” I laughed.  I hadn’t actually meant to be a smart ass but well, there it was. 

He held out his hands and seemed to debate in silence with himself as he looked from one to the other hand. Then he said,”On one hand, I could…no. Then I would just be giving you what you want.  But on the other hand…” Then he huffed. 

“Stand up.” He obviously made up his mind. I rose from the bed and stood next to it. “Take off your clothes.” I dropped my pants to the floor and took off my t-shirt. I stood there naked. “Go to the end of the bed.” I moved between his legs at the end of the bed. “Take them off.”

I took off his shorts and asked, “May I?” 

“No, you may not.” He said. “Dust.” I crawled up between his legs and wrapped my arms around his thigh, my face pressed up against his cock. Dusting for us is this, my subservience to him, my worship of his cock. “That’s where you belong.”

“Now, before you suck my cock, baby girl, you have a choice. I want to fuck your ass tonight but if you aren’t ready for that, it’s ok. If you want to then you need to put in your plug.”  He tried a couple nights before but I hadn’t been ready.  The plug would help make sure I was ready.

“I want to Daddy.” I got up and got the plug from the bathroom. I knelt on the floor near the bed and lubed the plug.  I slowly insert it until the large bulbous part slid inside.  

“Very good. Now suck my cock.” I got up and knelt again between his legs to suck his cock into my mouth. “See what you do to me?” He was very hard already.  I got to work sucking him until I had his cock deep in my throat.  After a bit I felt his leg lift up over my head and I disengaged from his cock. 

“Stay right there baby girl.”  He got up and stood behind me at the foot of the bed.  He opened my legs and went down on me while the plug was still in me. Once I was wet he held the plug in place and pushed his cock inside my pussy.  It felt so tight with the plug pushing against his cock inside me. He fucked me slowly until he was sure everything was fitting well then he fucked me hard and fast until he came.

If I were listening to myself in those moments I would say that my moans sound very different then when we have only vaginal penetration.  There is something about double penetration that puts me into another place.  I can’t help the noises I make, it’s an automatic response.

“You make some crazy sounds when I’m in both your holes.  Whether with the little pink plug, my fingers or the big black plug, it doesn’t matter what it is it does something to you,” he said.

I would agree.  It’s a next level experience for sure.

No Half Measures

This weekend I spent a large amount of time being 100% present with my son. We turned off all electronics and did things we hadn’t done in a long time. We played with old toys, we colored in adult coloring books, we worked on a science project together. It was very needed. But coming out of the weekend, I have this feeling of loss. I didn’t write, I didn’t get anything else accomplished. 

I see myself and know that I can be very good at multi-tasking when it comes to work or household chores. But, I can also have very pinpointed tunnel vision. I see my blog and I either write in great volumes or I’m non-existent. My friends either see me a lot or not at all. During my time with Daddy, my friends have voiced how I have disappeared, sucked up into the vortex of my desires to be with Daddy.

I am not a half measure person. I am completely engulfed by Daddy, ensnared by the connection we have. Our lightning and thunder fills my every waking thought until I realize that I’m needed by my son or I eek out an afternoon for one of my friends. 

Balance, what’s that? I don’t do balance well. I try very hard, but I fail a lot. I’d love to be one of those regimented souls who can consistently do little bits here and there and keep all the balls in the air. I recommit to that on a consistent basis. I suppose that’s something.   

Tea and Crumpets…or Pain and Suffering

Over the weekend Mr. D and I had several sessions of play. Each was different from the others. At different times, Mr. D used his bare hand, the cane, a riding crop and his heavy flogger on me. The cane he used in a rhythmic way. Tap, tap, tap then snap! Tap, tap, tap then snap! The tapping lulls me and primes my skin for what’s to come. It pulls some blood to the surface for the heavier strikes afterward. The bare handed spankings, oh how I love them. He had my ass cheeks nice and rosy. He gave me his hand to feel, it was warm to the touch. With bare hands, both the giver and the receiver feel the sting. I like the equality of that.

The last thing he used on me was the flogger. He whipped me with the falls of the flogger on my ass cheeks, my thighs and on my back. He swings the flogger up and over to hit the top of the ass and then reverses his swing to come up from below. The second swing brings the falls in contact with my thighs and the very tender crease between thigh and ass cheek. It is very sensitive there. He had me jumping.

At the end of the weekend as Mr. D and I were settling down for sleep, I told him that I was a bit off this weekend with my pain management. That sounds an odd way to say it but I think that’s about right, now that I’ve had some time to think. I didn’t do a very good job managing the pain. A couple different times during play, it felt really stingy and biting. I couldn’t properly get my head into the right space. I didn’t expect to go into subspace because we weren’t playing long enough at any time for that. But I usually settle down into a place where the pain is a catalyst for passion. This is the part of being a Pain Slut that I love.

Pain has an effect on me no matter what; whether I like it and want it, whether I’m willing or not. Mr. D does several things to me in the heat of passion that will make me cringe and cry. But they also make me gush. I’m learning that being a Pain Slut doesn’t mean you love and want the pain all the time. Many times, it hurts and I run from the pain. Still, he can see that it is working. This is why I’m not in charge. I’d probably run from the pain way more than I should, ha!

Once, during our play, I tried to use willpower to push myself into subspace. I wanted to slip into that place where the pain stops being stingy and I start loving it. Please, please, let me slip away! I tried to push my mind into that floating place, but it was not to be. It can’t be forced.

Edge play is an odd thing. I don’t have enough experience to understand. Daddy has a lot more than me and sees a lot more of where I’m at and how I am throughout a scene. On Sunday, I told Daddy, the pain felt stingier and just hurt this weekend. I suppose I could be female and say it was because I’m on my period but that’s a cop out. Whether with emotions or in physical play, I need to learn better how to let go. I want so much to explore the edge. 

I want him to push me physically and emotionally. I want to be thrown into subspace by his fierceness and his delivery of pain. But if I whine and whimper and can’t take it, I’m not giving him much of a reason to go there. He is a protective Daddy after all.

One day at a time, one step at a time. Oh, impatience, I am your fool.

Ride

“May I suck your cock Daddy?” I was snuggled up at his side, my hand on his cock, on his body, everywhere I could reach.

“You’d better.” He said.  I am required to ask first.  It just kills me, I don’t know why.  Several reasons I guess.  I must voice my desire, sometimes hard for me.  I can’t just surprise him.  I can’t control the action.  He is in control. I get nervous to ask every time.  Even if for a slight second I feel myself hesitate.  Then I finally ask and I feel his power overwhelm me. He didn’t have to do a thing yet I am controlled.  I feel the heat and need grip my sex just writing this. The best is when he tells me no.  Damn that twists me up in the best way, insanely good.

I knelt between his spread legs. His cock at attention.  I can feel it in my mouth even now.  Silky smooth and so wide he stretches my mouth open uncomfortably.  I take him in.  I pamper his cock. I let it slide into my wet mouth, moistening it.

I feel his head hit the back of my throat.  I align my body, I angle my neck, I open my mouth differently than I did before, then his cock slides back further.  I focus on his breathing, on the fit of his girth in my throat.

After a while, while I was running my tongue over his ball sac and feeling the little ridges rise and fall; he said, “Baby, I want you to get on top of me.”

We don’t do this position as much as others.  I have a bad wrist so it’s a challenge plus I never feel like I get the thrust power Daddy gets on top.  I’m sure I need practice to achieve that.    I crawled up on top of him.  I lifted up and put him inside me.  I wriggled down on his cock until it was all the way in me to the hilt. 

I felt him lean over tipping me to the side.  I wondered what he was doing until he righted himself and he had the wand in his hand.  Now I understood what he wanted.  He put the wand between us and turned the cursed thing on.  I wasn’t ready for that at all.  I had been fully focused on pleasing him.  My mind was not on myself in the least bit. As the vibration began to warm me I began to fuck him.  What Daddy wants Daddy gets.

I rode him.  My thighs gripping him, my body perpendicular to his with his cock speared deep inside me.  The vibrations coursed through me and I felt my body respond. His eyes were on me.  He was watching the passion overtake me, watching my breasts bounce, watching the expressions on my face.  This was for him.  He put me on him like a trophy on a mantle and watched me.

With the feel of his cock moving through me and the vibrations steamrolling over me is wasn’t long before my body gave him what he wanted.  I had no control.  The wave of passion and shocking pleasure took me away as I came hard on top of him.

He pulled the wand out and let me fall on him, draped like a blanket over his body.  I shuddered and breathed deep as he petted me and said, “Thank you my Love.”

Tested

I updated the post titled “Submit.” I realized, in rereading it, that I had left a key part out.  

You can read it here. https://enigmaticamor.com/2015/09/27/submit/

During our intense tryst that day Mr. D had slapped me and it left me jarred. We had friends over after that and finally went to bed at the end of the evening.

I felt like we had a really nice evening with our friends but still felt a vulnerable space in my heart from earlier that day. My emotions were slightly on edge and then we began to tangle with each other again.  Mr. D was full of the darkness that is his dominance.  It was not filtered or held back. 

We began to fuck and he told me to play with myself.  “You will cum for me tonight.  You will rub that little clit of yours until it falls off if you have to, understand? Either cum or you will be fucked on the ass.” I blanched.  I couldn’t cum that night.  I could tell, I was already too emotional for there to be any chance of that.

“If you’re going to be my slave you will do as I say, no excuses.” I nodded and whimpered in reply.

“Tell me you can’t cum.  Then your ass is mine.” I rubbed my clit so damned hard.  We had tried anal sex earlier in the day.  I wasn’t ready and it had hurt.  I knew it would be painful if we tried again now.

“Give up slut.  I want to fuck your ass.  Come on and fail, I know you won’t cum.  Give in to me now.”  I cried and shook my head.

He knew the pressure would break me. He knew I’d give in.  I wanted to be his slave but how could I if I couldn’t even cum for him? Masters need to be in complete control of their slaves.  I was a failure before we even started.

“Tell me to fuck your ass.  Give in now.”  He was giving me a way out. It was just a painful way.  One he knew I didn’t want to take that night. 

“No Daddy. Please.” I whimpered and bit my lip even though I knew he hated that.  Quickly, I opened my mouth and moaned to cover up my mistake.

“Tell me I can fuck your ass. Then you can stop.” I couldn’t hold out any longer.  I didn’t care if there was pain.  I only wanted a way out and one he’d let me take.

“Ok…ok Daddy.  Please, fuck my ass.  Please let me stop, please fuck my ass.”  I sobbed and gave him what he wanted.   I would take the pain over disappointing him.  I wound give in to make it stop.  

“Tell me again.” 

“Fuck my ass Daddy, you can fuck my ass.” I cried out and felt him thrust one last time and cum hard inside me. I shook and sobbed and was so thankful he came because it meant my ass was safe for the night.

Afterward, he told me he was deliberately testing me.  If we were going to take this step towards erotic slavery, it would change things.  He wanted me to see how much it would change.

No Choice

Our first time having anal sex we were both timid. Mr. D was careful and took care to make sure I was okay.  It had been a while since then.  We talked about it often but for whatever reason it hadn’t been the right time.  Last weekend, I arrived at Mr. D’s place, I had no idea what I was in for that afternoon.  We had been texting the night before about rape and non-consent.  He had gotten me so worked up that I told him I’d love to have him force me sometime.  The rape fantasy is one that intrigues me.  The idea of being forced is very erotic.  So, when I arrived at his place he told me to undress.  He said I had no choice, he was going to take my ass and I had no say in the matter.  I was scared and turned on and excited all at once.

I stripped down and he bent me over the bed.  He fit his face in between my cheeks and began to invade my asshole with his tongue.  It made me grip the sheets with both hands.  The sensations were off the charts for me when he did this. He pulled back and his fingers moved in to inched inside me.  I squirmed and cried out, wanting this but not wanting it at the same time.  I knew it was going to happen.  I had no choice.

He had me lie on my back and he pushed up my legs so that he was poised between them.  His enormous cock pushed into my ultra-tight hole.  Slowly, he moved.  I panted and relaxed as much as possible.  This was happening, I had no choice.  He pushed in with a short stroke and then pulled back.  He thrust in again and I felt my body balk at the invasion.  “Please Daddy.” I knew there was no stopping him. “Please, let me move to my side.”

“Okay, if you think that will be better.” I knew not to ask to stop.  I rolled on my side and got into position.  One leg between his two, one pulled up to my chest.  He mounted me again and thrust into me.  I took a deep breath.  This was happening, I had no choice.  His cock pushed inside me and the constant movement awakened my lust.  The feelings of pleasure overrode my anxiety and the pain of being stretched.  I moaned as he continued to thrust in deeper and deeper.

I felt the intense pleasure of him reaching the precipice and being buried to the hilt, I had no choice it was happening now.  He pulled back and began to fuck my ass with long deep thrusts.  He fucked me harder and faster.  He pummeled my tight ass until the guttural moans were unending.  They were mine and I had no choice, they came without my volition.

Hard animal fucking and his cock filling my ass brought him to the brink until finally he filled my ass with his hot seed.  His breathing came hard and fast.  The shudders of his orgasm rocked through me.  I had no choice, I felt his love juice pump me full.