Sex Night!

Does it matter that my son doesn’t get picked up until 7pm? Nope!

Does it matter that I’m still on my period? Nope!

Does it matter that I’m sick and breathing is a challenge? Heck No!

It’s kid-free night!

I’m exhausted but damn it, I’m going to have 5 fucking minutes of fucking alone time fucking with my Honey. That’s right!

My roommate has been gone for days and she’s going to walk in the fucking minute my son leaves the house, but do I care? Fuck no!

Deal with it people, I get to have sex tonight!

Wooo!!!!!!!!

Consent

During our time in Cancun we were with our kinky family and their vanilla family. So, with several non-kink folks around, we had to be careful how we behaved.  We didn’t want Goddess and El Jefe’s non-kinky family to be in any uncomfortable situations. 

There were a couple times where the lines blurred a bit.  One occasion ended up being very funny while another gave me pause. 

One morning Daddy took out the flogger, a crop and the slapper he made for me.  He bent me over the bed and gave me a small taste of a spanking.  It was a short tease meant to be the precursor for fun later. Afterwards, he left the implements on the bed. We didn’t think anything of it and went to lunch. Later in the day, when we were all sharing our pool, a couple that was part of the group chose to go back to their room through ours. 

“What are those?!?” The woman asked.  She had several vodkas in her already and she wasn’t shy. Her man was right behind her and chuckled.

“Those are toys for sex Hon.” She grabbed his hand and fell back into him as if for protection.  She looked confused. Mr. D began to explain to her and I tried to help.  El Jefe walked up behind this tableau and thought he could help too.  It probably didn’t help that all involved were plenty inebriated. 

“Honest Darling, the women who they use these on like it.  You might even like it.  You’d be surprised.” Her boyfriend trying to help.

“I like it.  It’s completely safe and you talk about it all beforehand.” Me trying to be helpful.

Mr. D tried to explain the roles and reasons of the lifestyle which would have been great had she not been so drunk and had El Jefe not decided to pick up the flogger.  He proceeded to whip the back of the couch with gusto as his friend (the woman) watched him in abject horror. Her boyfriend made the wise move to take her out of the situation. 

Later, when they were sober, she told us she understood but it wasn’t her thing.  No kidding!

The other event that happened was me asking Daddy to stop doing something that made me uncomfortable. I felt really bad asking him to stop something twice and it still doesn’t set well with me but as I think about it now I still would have asked to stop.

On the way back from the bachelor party (six of us went) Daddy and I were in the last row of a mini van taxi together.  He had me spread my legs so that he could play with my clit while the rest of the group was talking away in the first two rows.  One of the guys in the next row was watching me. His line of vision was straight toward me which gave him a view right up my skirt. He was drunk and it was dark so the view probably wasn’t what I thought but I felt very uncomfortable.  He wasn’t someone I’d ever play with and the thought of being the show for him freaked me out. 

The same thing with a different circumstance happened the next day.  El Jefe and Goddess were having room service in our room the next morning.  They had been tense with each other over pre-wedding stresses and had just ironed things out.  Daddy and I were lying on our bed because it was a comfortable spot and gave them space.  Daddy put his hand up my skirt and began to play with me but I just couldn’t. I wouldn’t normally mind in front of them but the tone was way off and it felt intrusive.  

Both times I asked Daddy to stop but they were for different reasons having to do with consent.  The first was my own consent and in the second I felt like I was speaking up for the consent of others. Would they have cared? In both cases, probably not. The random guy would have probably watched eagerly and El Jefe and Goddess would have taken it in stride even though it was a bad time.  Still, I needed the comfort level and it wasn’t there for me. 

Would I have continued if Daddy had forced the issue, yes I would have.  Did I do the right thing? I really don’t know. Daddy made an offhanded comment later about me not letting him have his way.  I felt really bad once I figured out what he was referencing. 

Exhibitionism is becoming more and more of a turn-on for me. But I need to know that the people watching have consented to it and really want to watch otherwise I worry so much about them and what they think that it throws me completely out of the right headspace. 

I should be leaving this worry to my Dominant shouldn’t I? I know it’s edge play and I should let him find the edge.  I need to learn how better to let my dominant lead in these situations. 

Sex, what’s that?

So, I have been remiss.  I languished in my time with Daddy.  He was here a blissful 9 days, I think.  I wallowed in the touch of him, the nearness of him. I had family and him around me and it was bliss. 

I should have given you all a play-by-play of our days together and then the pain of the inevitable separation but I didn’t.  I felt possessive of my time with him.  I couldn’t waste it writing of it.  Then he was gone and I didn’t have the heart to face it.  

I buried myself in work and parenting and that’s where I’ve been. It’s good really.  The lonely, missing him, feelings get pushed down and my focus narrows.  I have been cranking at work and not sad.  

Like clockwork though, I must write and here I am to face it.  The minute I began writing so came the tears.  Time to find his baby girl and dig her out of her cocoon.  

Fuck.

Obey

Daddy and I went on a romantic weekend trip recently.  While we were in town we saw a long time friend of his.  This was the first time I had met his friend and I think it had been many years since Daddy had seen him.

Daddy had told me that they had played sexually before.  Him, his friend (also male) and their wives/girlfriends had all played sexually together. So theirs had been an intimate friendship.  I had never met this friend before but I knew of Daddy’s poly past.  This was one of the reasons we had chosen an open relationship after all. 

Daddy told me that his friend was a breast man and to dress for the occasion.  I chose a low cut dress to honor Daddy and be his arm candy.  I knew Daddy would be pleased to show me off. 

When his friend arrived we talked for a few minutes in the hotel.  Daddy made some direct comments about my body to his friend.  I can’t now remember the exact comments.  I do remember feeling embarrassed by one comment and when I looked at his friend he had the same pained look on his face that I felt on mine. What was Daddy doing? I wondered to myself. 

We left the hotel and went to dinner.  During the long drive they caught up on things with each other. While we were at the restaurant Daddy again made a lewd comment about me to his friend.  I felt rather like a piece of meat.  I tried to understand what he was doing but I didn’t know his friend and I could only sense discomfort from the man.  

Though we all talked about the lifestyle and his friend having been in the local scene in the past, there was no talk or interest from him in playing with us.  As we arrived back at our hotel, I wondered if Daddy was going to make me play with this man.  He had never ordered me to play with anyone before that I didn’t know. 

We had drinks in the hotel bar.  I felt distant from the conversation.  I was perplexed.  What do I do?  Do as Daddy commands with someone I only just met?  I felt very uncomfortable.  Aside from Daddy making off color comments, there was no chemistry here.  There was nothing at all that made me want to play.  Would I obey if commanded?

After drinks we walked back to the room and his friend took his leave.  Daddy thought my goodnight to the man was a brush off.  Honestly, I couldn’t tell you if it was.  It’s very possible because I’d had enough of the uncertainty.  When his friend made noises to leave I happily let him.

I asked Daddy afterwards what he was trying to do.  He said he liked putting people off balance on purpose.  He asked me about my reactions.  He asked if I would have taken an impromptu order to play if it had been given.  He wondered if the unexpected nature of it was more than I could handle and why was this so.

All good questions.  I’ve only been with a few men.  I’m timid by nature and only like to do things that make people happy not uncomfortable. If that friend had been all over the prospects of playing with us would my response have been different? Probably.  

Did I act like the slave I want to be?  No, I didn’t.  Daddy felt disconnected from me.  I didn’t trust the situation but I should have trusted him.  That is my place, to trust and obey.  I did not. 

Packing

Mr. D is in Texas for a couple more days. Maybe I should change his pseudonym to The Texan? Naw. I know we all do our best to protect our anonymity but some of the pseudonyms I’ve seen are just plain funny. 😂 That might be a great writing prompt. A Saturday Night Live-esque skit using all the questionable pseudonyms online.  

The Liberator whipped out his big unit, I call it Thor’s Hammer.  He turned me around and standing in the doorway was none other than Magnus Trojanus.  I knew I was in for a trip to the ER.  Giddy! 

No? It could have legs.  I might work on that scenario, polish that bad boy up. What else is going on today? I’m packing up half our stuff to make Mr. D cozy in our new apartment.  Being a homespun girl, I have plenty of kitchen/bathroom stuff for two houses.  Time to get busy. 

I’m also washing the various and sundry sexy things I’ll pack up to send along with him.  He already packed most of the toys.  Can’t wait for our Texas place to have the spanking bench out and privacy to use it.  That right there is the silver lining in our stormy weather. Yeah buddy!

I think I might boot up my laptop today and do some blog maintenance.  I would love to post pictures to all my blogs but the research to find sexy and legally usable images sometimes takes as long as writing does.  I have a day dream of posting all personal pictures of my own.  Maybe someday.  At the moment, this is what you get.  I could be all Domme and say, “take what you get and like it, then lick my boots!” but that is definitely not me. Ha!

Happy Sunday Everyone!

What now?

Today Daddy and I talked and cried together from different states. We will do our best to move forward through this difficult time.  We both know we are the one for each other.  We may be pulled in two directions right now but we are 100% committed to each other. 

I love him more than anything.  I want our beautiful life together.  I want to experience so much with him.  We fit together so well.  One of his work buddies even made a joke about it.  I’m curvy on top and bottom with a smaller waist and Daddy is straight up and down with a belly.  We fit together like puzzle pieces. We are made for each other body and soul.

Daddy returns home Friday morning.  I can’t wait to see him.  

Hold Strong

For the thousandth time in my life I wish I were stronger.  Sure, I am strong.  I can bear pain reasonably well.  Emotional pain, physical pain, yes they hurt me but I don’t make a big fuss.  

The most fuss I’ve ever made has been with Daddy as he whips me. It is such a catharsis to be allowed to voice some whimpers of expression in those moments.  I’m so used to being the stoic, but I found a way to allow myself those expressions.  Still, I don’t let go much because those whimpers eventually worm their way under Daddy’s blanket of darkness and find the protective Daddy response. 

I’ve been doing my best in our current situation to be strong.  I haven’t succeeded.  I am an adult woman and at the moment I feel every bit the baby girl.  I want Daddy to be here and hold me and make it all okay.  

I talk to our wifey, Goddess, and I’m so impressed with her.  She says, “Just pack up and move.  Go to court.  Get your child and go.” If I had half of her dominance or moxey or whatever that is, I’d be in a whole different place in life.  But here I am, timid me. 

Will I ever have the life I want?  Will I ever speak up for me? Why when I do speak up I can’t handle the backlash that comes from speaking my truth?  Is there any way to train yourself to know how to deal with manipulative, pushy, toxic people like my ex? 

Again, I have no answers just questions.  

Shower Scene

By the end of the eventful day in the pool, I was slightly tipsy and very horny.  Mr. D leaned into me, kissing me with intensity.  “Want to go upstairs?” I asked.  I wanted him.

He looked around the pool, the other couples were occupied. “Yeah, let’s go.” He grabbed my hand and pulled me to the stairs.  We waved to our crew and went up to the room.

Daddy led me to the balcony overlooking the pool.  On the tenth floor, no one could see us unless we were right at the railing. He pushed me down on the chaise lounge and pulled my bikini bottoms off.  His fingers probed me.  He worked them inside me until I was wet and ready.   He mounted me there, outside in the hot, humid air.  I was panting for him after all the teasing. 

After a brief fucking, we got up and went into the room to get more comfortable.  I took the rest of my suit off in the shower to hang it up.  Our shower was an open plan with no door and a glass block wall.  Inside there were two travertine blocks about two feet high that served as shelves.  Daddy joined me in the shower and said, “Bend over, hands on the blocks.” 

“Yes Daddy.” I did as commanded. My hands propped me up on the blocks. My head was against the wall and my ass up in the air.  He gripped my hips and maneuvered himself until his cock pushed up against my pussy.  I widened my stance until my feet were against each wall. It brought me down onto his cock.  He pumped into me while the water sprinkled over us.  I love being taken from behind and this shower served well for that purpose. 

We moved from the shower to the bed.  “Get on your side.” Daddy said.  He pushed one of my legs up into the fetal position and the other down between his legs.  He can slide right into my pussy this way and still have access to my ass.

“I own you.  You’re mine.” His cock slammed home. 

“Yes Daddy!” I said as I felt his thrust hit home.  He lubed his fingers and slid one in my ass.  I moaned loudly.  There was no one to disturb with my cries.  We were away from home and alone in the rooms.  He was relentless with his finger and then multiple fingers in my ass.  He reamed me.  I cried out and panted and held on under the onslaught. 

After a few minutes, Daddy switched our positions and was between my legs fucking me on my back. “I want your ass.  It’s mine and I’m going to take it.”

I knew that would fail miserably right then.  My ass was not ready.  I can tell when it’s a good day for anal and it wasn’t.  My body wasn’t prepared, my mind wasn’t prepared.  Oddly, I didn’t stress about it.  I was immediately resigned, I suppose.  I didn’t give it a thought.  “On your belly.” He said.  

I was on my belly waiting.  Then I realized it had been too long.  He wasn’t making a move.  It was too quiet.  I looked back up to him.  “What’s wrong Daddy?” He gathered me up in his arms.

“It’s not fair to do that to you.  We aren’t prepared and we don’t have the right toys with us.” We snuggled and I felt cradled in his care at the moment. 

“Baby girl, next week on Thursday you will take your plug and lube to work.  You will wait until the afternoon and then will put the plug in your ass.  You will wear it for two hours before you come home. Understand?”

“Yes Daddy.”

“Then, I will take your ass.”

I was giddy then.  An order, planned preparation, owned and kept for a purpose.  I felt complete. 

Pool Time

We joined our friends, our lifestyle family, for a trip to Mexico to celebrate El Jefe’s 50th birthday this weekend.  We went to a resort town and rented an amazing penthouse suite with three rooms for the three couples.  The pool at the resort has a swim-up bar.  It is mainly an Adults Only pool.  We love going to that pool bar.  We can spend the afternoon getting tipsy and enjoying the sun. 

Our first full day in Mexico started with breakfast sandwiches in the penthouse then we went into town to shop.  We parked where a smiling fellow ushered our car in. “Come back to me when you are done shopping, I am Jose.  Remember, Jose Cuervo!”  We laughed and went off to check out the shops.

We walked on the boardwalk with all the vendors trying to sell us their wares.  The other restaurant hawkers were also out in abundance trying to lure us into their restaurants like Jose Cuervo had.  We bought drinks from one and had them while shopping. 

Finally, we made our way back to Jose and had a fantastic lunch overlooking the ocean. It was as humid there as in the tropics.  The sultry weather added to the ambiance and the physical aspect of the day.  We drank Pina Coladas and ate ceviche, tacos, fajitas, shrimp and steak. It was decadent.

When we got back to the hotel everyone was ready for a swim. We changed into suits and headed down to the pool.  We brought drinks with us and started with those.  Soon though, we had to order from the bar because it was happy hour for a short time. We had missed most of it already.

Daddy was under strict orders from El Jefe that we were to get his wife Goddess good and tipsy.  For his birthday trip, he wanted her uninhibited and when she is inebriated she is much more her happy, horny, kinky self.  But then, so are most of us, right? Right.

So, Daddy brought me two happy hour drinks while El Jefe brought Goddess hers. “Drink up baby girl.” Daddy said. I was completely stuffed full of that fabulous lunch and had no room but I did as told and downed the first drink while Goddess drank hers.

As I drank, we all talked and carried on in the pool.  Daddy pinned me to the wall of the pool and kissed me with all his depths of passion.  I was weak with the need of him.  His hand rubbed my crotch through my bikini bottoms.  I shuddered and looked up to him with hunger. He pulled aside my bikini and rubbed my clit.  I held onto him tightly.  He was driving me wild with the heat of such contact.  I wanted him badly. 

The rest of the group were right there chatting and bantering away with us and other pool goers.  It was surreal to be overtaken by Daddy’s presence and then to realize, when I returned to my senses, that our whole group was right there talking away like nothing had happened.  Did anyone notice I had suddenly lost my ability to talk?  I suppose not or they knew and just enjoyed his company while he drove me mad in his arms. 

He pushed another drink in my hand, “Drink up, you’re falling behind.” I balked.  I was still so full, there was just no room in me. 

“Yeah, drink up bitch!” Goddess said, very tongue-in-cheek. She wouldn’t actually call me a bitch and mean it seriously.  Goddess, Painted Lady and I can talk like that to each other for the pure fun of it.  Right about then, though, Goddess was also feeling the affects of a pot brownie she had eaten.  She has some serious medical issues that enable her to have them legally.  The combination of that and the drinks made her quite fun, assertive and horny.   I took a sip or two of my drink, enough to appease her and Daddy.

I was praying the food would digest before too long and I could keep up.  I wanted to be in the same place as her and Painted Lady but I just wasn’t there yet.  I was uncomfortably stuffed and feeling pressed to keep up.  I wasn’t drunk at all as a result.  Painted Lady wrapped her arms around Goddess and I and pulled us into the middle of the pool while the men left to smoke cigars.  Cigars take a while so I hoped I’d have myself together by the time they got back. 

Painted Lady and Goddess kept the pressure on though.  Goddess was feeling no pain and wanted company.  Painted Lady was helping her push the alcohol for the fun of it.  “Come on now, you are a whole drink behind, what would Daddy say?” She jibed.  No one but me calls him Daddy usually.  She was working me by using my dynamic against me.  Mr. D treats me as an equal in public and with them.  Our dynamic is more a curiosity than something they actually see in action.  Still, they knew he had given an order.

I took a half hearted sip. “Come on,” Goddess said. “You aren’t even trying.  Daddy said to drink up!” At that point, even in all good fun, I had had about all I wanted of getting pushed to drink. 

“Well, Daddy’s not here right now!” I said, even before I realized I had formed the thought. You know how you can say something in the heat of the moment and even as the words are floating in a thought bubble above your head you want to take them back?  Yeah, it was like that. 

“Oooooo, I’m going to tell him you said that! You are going to be in soooo much trouble!” And even as Goddesss teased and I laughed off her taunts, I felt my heart sink. How had I gotten here to this moment of blatant defiance?  I wasn’t trying to defy Daddy.  I just wanted the pressure off.  

Fortunately, things turned around.  My stomach began to loosen its death grip on the food.  The three of us girls drifted into conversations with other people at the bar and we had great fun talking and laughing. When the men returned they joined us and we talked and played some more.

Goddess wasn’t done with me quite yet.  She was still high and very playful.  She grabbed the strings of my bikini top and pulled.  As I turned away, my breasts popped free of the suit.  I quickly gripped the material to my chest.  What started as a tease ended up being an all out battle in the middle of the pool.  Goddess grabbing any stray bit of bikini to pull the strings free and me trying to escape certain exposure.  

The boys and Painted Lady surrounded us to either protect the melee from being broken up by management, block the view of random onlookers or to be part of the action, I really couldn’t say who played what part.  Daddy ended up saving me and tying my suit back on me. He could see I wasn’t ready for full public exposure against my wishes.  Daddy is truly a protector at the best of times.  I love him for that.

Arrival

Mr. D and I arrived to our hotel on Wednesday.  We are attending a Vegas Bash having to do with body acceptance for bigger people.  He’s been part of this community many years and I’m only being introduced to it this year.  In his past, he’s enjoyed many trysts at the bashes with many people.  He is the life of the party and many know him and his crew here. I had heard about the bashes for a long time and this would be my first one. 

We got to our room and were unpacking our luggage.  Mr. D sat in a sofa chair and beckoned me over.  “Kneel,” he said.  I knelt in between his legs. “This week is about us.  We are going to have fun and relax and enjoy our family.  This week is about you and about me. No one else.”  I smiled and nodded and put my arms around him.  I have so much love for this man.  He makes me feel so loved and protected and cared for in so many ways.

From what Daddy has told me, bashes can end up being a lot of partying and sex.  Many hook-ups happen and since we are an open couple and he’s been promiscuous at bashes in the past, he was setting the tone for how we would behave at this event.  I felt my heart swell with joy that he wanted just me for this bash.  That won’t always be the case, he is desired by many.  I felt so cradled within his affection and care through his words and choice.

“You may rise,” he said.  As soon as I kissed him and returned to unpacking he called me back. “Wait, I wasn’t done with you.”  He pointed to the floor and I knelt before him again.  “Close your eyes.” I obeyed and knelt waiting.  “Ok, open them.”

When I looked up he had a white jewelry box on his chest.  He had a smile on his face.  “Open it.” Inside were the most beautiful diamond and emerald earrings.  They have a floating emerald that moves and sparkles in the light with a swath of diamonds curling around it.  The sides are filigreed in a delicate pattern of swoops and curls.  They are the most beautiful earrings I’ve ever seen. I didn’t know what to say, they were so beautiful.  He had gotten me a charm for my charm bracelet to commemorate our trip already.

I fumbled my words. “Oh Daddy, they are beautiful. You already got me the charm.”  How could he be so wonderful?  How do I deserve such a man and such gifts?

“I can spoil you.  You’d better get used to it because you’re mine.”  I beamed and my heart did a little happy dance in my chest.  I put them on.  As luck would have it, I brought three green dresses for the occasions of the bash.  It didn’t really matter what I wore though because I knew I wasn’t taking those earrings off. 

I love him so.  He doesn’t need to shower me with jewels just having him is the best gift I could hope for.