Aching Need

Daddy and I have been sick for weeks.  One of those hacking coughs that precursors something worse.  We are both finally on antibiotics and healing.  

When Daddy saw his Doctor they found that even on multiple blood pressure meds his blood pressure is still dangerously high.  They put him on a couple more.  

With all this happening, we weren’t able to have sex before he left for Texas.  I bit my tongue even though I desperately wanted him.  You want to say your sex life is worth dying for but in reality I don’t want to kill the man with ecstasy. 

But damn I want him.  Two more weeks until I see him.  Every night this week I’ve masturbated after all are asleep and the house is quiet. The need is so great that every orgasm has rocked me long past my normal response.  It’s this odd shaking shudder that begins in my sex and spasms through the rest of me.  Delicious but telling.  

I ache in a very deep way for my Master, my Daddy, now my Fiancé. He brought me to life and my body responds to him like no other.  

Counting the days…

Altered States

He gave me time.  We were full from breakfast.  We sat and read email, blogs, etc.  I didn’t think anything of it.  Life as usual. 

He got up to do some laundry and then he was by my side in the living room. “Strip.” He said with no emotion, no explanation.  I unzipped my jeans vest and pulled off my shorts.  I stood naked before him. “Nice.  Follow me.”

Into the bedroom we went.  There were ropes everywhere.  He had been busy while he was doing the laundry.  “Get into the center of the bed,” he said as he adjusted the ropes at the headboard.  A large O ring was centered at the top of the large wooden headboard. I recognized it as a piece of equipment that is usually used under the mattress so that you can tie a person spread eagle to a bed withiut a frame.  This was going to be different. 

I laid on the bed in the center.  I was nude and felt the air from the  fan play across my skin.  He took one of my wrists and looped black rope around it several times tying a knot below my palm.  Then he tied the other wrist in similar fashion.  Each wrist was then secured to a ring an each side of the headboard.  Now I was unable to move my hands.  When I pulled on one the other would become secured closer to the wooden frame.  Oh, they are linked behind the bed.  I thought. The more I move the tighter I’ll be pulled on one side or the other. Devious.

Then he looped more black rope around my thighs.  Each thigh had many loops of rope, then each was tied off around the loops at my inner thigh.  The rope would secure me but not pull on my skin. Finally he pulled each leg up by ropes through the O ring in the center of the headboard right above my head.   As I looked up I saw a network of ropes strung from the upper corners of the bed and from my thighs.  I was trapped with my knees at my breasts, my hands bound and my sex wide open to him. 

He stood over me and surveyed his work. He smiled with approval.  “I can smell your sex.  I think you like this.” Then he took out the implements he had hidden by the bed.  A crop, a feather duster, and other items I couldn’t see.  Oh, I was in for it.  He mounted the bed and settled himself between my legs.  He blew air on my pussy.

I felt his nose first.  He ran his nose over my sex and up around the clit.  Then his tongue flicked over my labia, caressed my sensitive skin.  My senses were already heightened from being tied and now his tongue lit me up. Soft fluttering caresses that set me on fire. I was whimpering and pulling on my bonds to get to him. 

He pulled back, I hoped to mount me, but he picked up a crop instead.  He smacked the top of my pussy with it.  I jumped with every strike.  I tried to calm myself and bear the impacts but I was slipping away from my control. The binding ropes trapped me yet set my mind to flight. 

As the stinging sensations accelerated so did my need to beg for mercy. Before I reached my limit he knelt again to lick my pussy.  I was out of my mind.  First gentle flicks of the tongue, then hard sucking, then back to gentleness.  I was moaning loudly, unable to stop myself. 

He picked up the crop again.  My sex was wide open, my thighs tied back, my toes barely touching the bed.  The sting of contact shot through my pelvis jolting me. “Daddy!”

“What baby girl? Don’t you like it?” He said with a devilish smile.  He knew I liked it. The stings were harder and deeper now.  The first round was to bring the blood to the surface. This was the main event. It seemed that crop strikes followed by the more subtle torment of licking were the order of the day.  Each round pushed me closer to climax.

His finger hovered around the entrance to my pussy.  Caressing the pouty lips on each side.  I arched forward.  Finally!  Some kind of fucking! As sexual play ramps up, I have a one track mind.  Fuck me! Put it in, fill my hole, fuck me! My pelvis pounded forward propelling towards surcease.  His finger lazily dropped down to my asshole.  No! Not there! He rubbed little circles getting it wet then he pushed it in my ass.  

“Daddy! Fuucckk….” I’m not sure if that was a request or an expletive.  Either way, he wasn’t listening. His tongue bathed my pulsating clit.  His finger kept prodding my ass.  My throbbing, aching, hungry pussy sat forgotten on the edge of the dance floor waiting with her cocktail glass dripping sweat down her dress.

“Daddy please.” Pitiful. He ignored it.  “Daddy please fuck your slut.”  His eyes rose to look at his trussed up prize then went back to his work. “Please fuck your dirty whore.” He finally took notice. 

“You want to be fucked, do you?” His voice dripped with his Cheshire smile. “Hmm.” Noncommittal though he feigned, he finally he rose.  Yes, yes, yes! 

“Yes Daddy, please!” I was gone.  I looked up to him through atmospheres of dreamy landscapes.  

“You are mine.  I own you. Do you understand?” 

“Yes Daddy. Yours.”  I was laid bare to him.  Raw and exposed. 

“You are my dirty little whore.” He was poised at my clutching hole. He thrust forward cleaving me with his meaty cock.

“Yes Daddy, god yes!” The feeling was indescribable. Shivers of pleasure covered my body.  My mind sang.  I gripped the rope that bound my wrists to the bed. I wanted to wrap myself around him but was denied.  Thrust after thrust filled my needy pussy with the cock I so desperately wanted. 

“Take it!” His face above me, his hands on me.  His intensity broke free. 

“Fuck your little slut, your whore, fuck my cunt.  Please Daddy, fuck me, fuck me.” On and on I rutted in a hypnotized frenzy.

“Take it, take my seed!” He thrust to the hilt and pumped hot come deep inside me.  I felt it spurting out between us as his cries and grunts played across the room. 

Afterwards, he untied me in sections.  I cleaned us up while still in a stupor, ropes dangling from my wrists.  I came back down sometime after that. 

Coming Alive Again

We were having a relaxing day. Breakfast was done and he went out to have a cigar.  Usually that means he is occupied for about an hour.  I decided to have a shower and get dressed so we could go run some errands when he was done. 

I dried off and put on a sexy pair of red lace thong panties for later. As I was pulling a pair of jeans shorts over the panties I looked down the hall and Daddy was standing there watching me. My heart raced a little.  He pointed at my shorts and lowered his finger to the ground.  Oh my, I don’t think we’re going to the store, I thought as I lowered the shorts. 

I kept my eyes on him as he walked down the hall.  He looked me up and down as I stood there in nothing but panties.  “Very nice. I was wondering where you had gone.  I called for you but no answer.” He said as he kissed me.

“Sorry Daddy, I was showering.”

“I see that now.  I was ready to have a nice relaxing blowjob while I had my cigar but you weren’t around.”

“I’m sorry Daddy.” I felt bad.  I had inadvertently missed a cue.

“You should be. Put on your collar and meet me in the dining room.” Then he was gone.  My heart raced faster. I threw off the wet towel on my head, shook out my wet hair and followed him to the dining room.

The chairs were pulled out from the table and the table was clear of everything but the red tablecloth that was on it. He wasn’t there at first.  He came in from the patio holding a length of rope as I was surveying the room.  “Lean over the table, arms out.”  I did as told, stretching my body across the table.  My thighs were up against the edge with my ass out and my breasts on the table top. “Is that a good height?” He asked.  We had never played on this table before.  My grandmother’s dining table. 

“Yes Daddy, it’s good.” I stretched my body out on its surface, my arms in front of me.  When he’s tied me before it’s been on his padded spanking bench or a bed.  The hard table was something new.  He looped the rope several times then laced my wrists in the loops.  He tied me off across the  table to the adjacent bar. Fortunately the bar does not currently have wineglasses in it. “You know the words that will release you if needed?” He asked.  I told him I did.  Our safe words are the standard ‘red’ and ‘yellow’.

Now, I’m stretched across the table with my feet steady on the ground and my ass presented to him.  His hands caress all over my back, butt, and thighs.  I close my eyes to enjoy the warm up for I know some of what is to come.  First, he spanked me barehanded.  He has big, warm hands.  He is incredibly strong and I felt his power in those first strikes.  He spanked me and I bounded forward on the table from the force.  My grandmother’s table creaked under me.  Randomly, I thought of Daddy just recently gluing and fixing the chairs and that he might end up having to do the same to the table.  The strange places one’s mind wanders at the beginning of a beating.

I tilted my head to the side, the table was hard under me.  Daddy had tied me with play in the line so I could move around a bit.  He picked up an implement, possibly an English riding crop and I felt the sting of it.  There were warm up taps all over my ass then he struck me hard.  I know I squirmed and let out breathy noises.  I really try to breath and take as much as possible.  His fingers pushed between my legs and felt my sex.  I was already growing wet and we’d only just started. He positioned the crop up against my clit and moved it back and forth in rapid succession.  It teased my clit so much.  There isn’t enough room between my thighs for any big strikes so I relaxed and pushed out my ass to give Daddy more access. 

His fingers pushed against my clit and rubbed hard.  I moaned into the tabletop.  Next, I felt and heard something different, something new. The sound was light. It was oh so stingy. He was relentless with the swatting implement.  At one point I was close to my breaking point and said,”No please, no Daddy.” Whimpering to him and hoping he’d stop. 

“You’re asking the wrong person, Daddy’s not here.” I had no idea what he meant, I just wanted the stinging to stop.  The cheeks of my ass were getting most of the onslaught and I was close to crying.  

Again I said,”Please Daddy, please no more!” 

“Daddy’s not here, Daddy is the nice one.” He said as he continued to beat my ass with the stingy thing.  “You know how to properly beg for what you want, slave. Or do you no longer want to be my slave?” What? Wait. I did? Oh yes! I did know. It finally occurred to me, my proper protocol.

“Please Sir…please Sir!” I said.  My voice quavered. Pitiful little voice.

“That’s better, slave.” The stinging stopped, thank god. He moved to my side and roughly lifted my head by my hair.  I looked up at him and he kissed me.  I clung to his lips like a castaway on a sinking ship.  Our connection, his lips, these were my saviors right then. “You know what that was, don’t you?”  I shook my head.  “That was the stingy toy you bought for Goddess.” He showed me the toy.  It was a crop with a long handle and a plastic red hand for the swatting end.  I had bought it to tease Goddess and now he was using it on me.

“Lift yourself up.” He said.  I raised up on my forearms, my breasts only slightly on the table.  He chose a different crop this time.  It felt like a crop but slightly different.  It was less stingy, easier on my skin.  He peppered my back with a light smattering of hits.  He focused some stronger strikes on my shoulders which felt almost like a massage.  I loved that.  

After some time spent using the second crop he switched to his heavy flogger.  This flogger is well oiled leather so it feels very heavy on the skin.  He used it mainly on my ass.  The tops of my asscheeks took many hard hits.  It hits so heavily that it felt like I was being punched with it. Each strike forced out a blast of breath and a staccato sound from me. Wetness from my pussy coated the insides of my thighs. He stopped for a moment and rubbed his hard cock against my heat emitting ass.  “See what you do to me?” He said.  I pushed back against him.  I wanted him inside me so badly.  He teased me with his body pushed up against mine, his hands pushing up under my chest to grab my breasts.  I moaned shamelessly for him.  

He continued flogging me.  My back and ass took the heat.  Finally he rested.  I could hear his labored breathing.  It is quite a workout to flog and beat someone like that.  He untied me from the bar and grabbed the rope at my wrists.  He pulled me unceremoniously down the hall to our bedroom. I saw rive let’s of sweat running down his back.  “Get on the bed.” He said as he wiped the sweat from his brow.  He untied me and said, “Keep your arms out on the bed, do not move them. Eyes closed.”  After being tied for so long, he knew all I ached for was to touch him.  Damn it, I thought.  I could have cried right then.  I wanted connection. “Legs spread, knees bent.”  He mounted the bed with his cock against my pussy. Connection, I would get. 

To be continued…

Dominance on Tap

“Take off your clothes. Now.” Daddy’s tone brooked no dissent. I stripped as he watched.  “Hands on the bed, legs spread.” I put arms and hands on the bed, my ass up and legs spread.  I waited.  No warm up, no real warning, then a cane to the ass.  The burning sting bit my ass cheek and I cried out.  I tried to take it and keep it in but this time, every breath and every sigh was vocal.

Another stinging bite to the other ass cheek had my legs tensing.  This was going to be harsh and I didn’t have my sea legs.  We haven’t played with pain in a long time.  The following strikes were light taps.  Finally some warming hits, oh thank god, I thought as I intentionally slowed my breathing which had ramped up quickly.  

His face pushed in between my ass cheeks. His tongue probed and pushed hot wetness into my most private parts.  

He pulled back and said, “You are my whore.  Mine.  Say it.”  I took a deep breath searching for my voice.

“I’m your whore Daddy.  Yours.  I’m yours.”  

“That’s right,” he said.  Something else hit my ass.  It could have been a crop or a flogger held tightly.  It was less stingy than the cane by far but still intense.  With his words, his dominance began to overtake me. The hot pain seared the words into my skin.  Over and over the strikes hit me on the ass, on the back.  I gasped, I cried out, he continued. 

“You are my dirty little slut. Take it slut.”  More strikes and the pain coalesced inside me.  I couldn’t catch my breath.

“On your back whore.” I took as deep a breath as I could and flipped over. “Legs spread, play with yourself.”  He left for a minute to use the bathroom.  I lay there rubbing my clit in such a dither.   He takes me to such a deep place when he’s harsh and dominant.  I was close to hyperventilating.  I needed to calm down but God I loved this.  I strummed my clit like a guitar.  I was so hot for him.  I wanted his cock so badly.  

He mounted the bed between my legs and watched me masturbate.  “That’s right, rub that clit for Daddy.” He leaned in and pushed the tip of his cock inside me.  I moaned and wrapped around him.  “Hands behind your head.”  Damn it, I wanted to touch him. “Yeah, I know,”  he said, responding to my thoughts.  He reads me like a well worn book. 

His iron hand gripped my neck.  I squeaked as I tried for a last breath of air. I slipped ever deeper into submission to him.  It is automatic when he does this. My fear, his dominance, my submission, his power quicken in this act. 

“You are mine.  None of the June Cleaver act here.  The Beav can’t have you.   You are mine, got it?” Each staccato word was emphasized by a squeeze to my neck.  The world narrowed to him and my air.  

“Mine. Say it.” His hand did not loosen at all.  I grunted words that had no hope of being intelligable.  “Again.”  More grunting.  He seemed satisfied and allowed a smidgen air.  

Finally, he slammed his cock fully to the hilt in one long stroke.  My eyes rolled into the back of my head.  The pleasure along with his hand releasing my breath exploded together inside me.  This is my addiction.  He captures it all. He fucked me long and hard.  

“Present your tits slave.” I cringed and gathered them together.  I presented them to him.  The cane materialized in his hand.  I whimpered.  The cane bit my nipples, my tender breasts.  It hurt so damn much.  I cried but I squirted fluid all over his cock.  Damn my traitorous body. 

He pulled out without finishing. I still hadn’t caught my laboring breath. “I’m not finished with you slut.  Be ready.  You will take my seed later.”  

I nodded, “Yes Daddy.”

“Go take a shower, we have a half hour until we meet everyone.” I got up from the bed on wobbly legs.  It was a shower of regaining my breath and gathering myself around me again. 

Pain Slut vs. Baby Girl

A few weeks ago Mr. D and I were having fun with his roommates. We were drinking.  We were sitting and talking and generally having a good time.  After a bit someone said, “Let’s do shots!” Oh boy, on a Sunday night this was not going to end well.  Out came the shot glasses.  Before I knew it I was drunk and ordering pizza because somewhere in my rum soaked psyche I knew we all needed something to offset the alcohol.

Being drunk for most people magnifies their normal preset behaviors and personality.  What that meant for me was I became even more enamored of Mr. D.  I was so horny for him and I made it increasingly known.  Every time I got up to refill drinks or go to the bathroom I leaned into him for kisses and to whisper my need of him in his ear.  

The tipping point, I think, was when I told him blatantly that I wanted him in my ass.  It had been a while.  We had tried recently but it hadn’t gone well so we stopped.  I was sure, in my inebriated state, that giving him my ass was the right choice.  Caution be damned!  I wanted him so bad and I wanted to give him what he craved.  I was so sure and completely committed to this that I saw no other outcome aside from the one I wanted. 

After pizza Daddy pulled me into the bedroom.  He bent me over the bed and told me he accepted my offer.  He spanked me barehanded and warmed my ass quite thoroughly.  Then his finger slid into my ass.  He worked that finger in and out once or twice then bent me over the corner of the bed.  The pain slut in me was in ecstasy.  Yes! My ass was hot from the spanking and he was going to take me the way he wanted, no questions, no checking in, just take what was his. 

Then he pushed inside me all at once.  One long swift stroke and his cock was buried balls deep in my ass.  The little girl in me reared her scared little head and cried out.  “No Daddy no!!”  I had no inhibitions left due to the alcohol, great, but I had no control either.  My duality of pain slut and baby girl were all jumbled together.  I couldn’t stop the vulnerable baby girl from whimpering even as I realized that my ass was fine.  It was really fast but I had accommodated him.  I needed to breathe and adjust to it but by the time I had that thought Daddy was pulling out. 

He laid on the bed next to me quietly.  I knew I had done wrong but couldn’t fix it.  “What’s wrong Daddy?  Are you okay?” I was nervous, I felt so bad.  I hadn’t wanted to upset him like that at all.  I realized right away that I’d fully engaged Protective Daddy and didn’t know how to fix it. 

“We’re fine baby girl, you didn’t do anything wrong.  I’m just in my head right now.”  I could see that. Engineer Daddy was dissecting the problem and figuring out what happened.  We laid there in silence.  I did my best to be quiet but what I desperately wanted was to shake him until he came back to me. “I should have stayed inside you and you probably would have been fine.”  He said. I nodded. We had come to the same conclusion but in our inebriated state it had taken us both too long to process the information.  

One thing I learned from this experience is that alcohol does not help play at all.  We know kink play when equipment is involved  must always be sober play for safety. But we were not using any tools, just ourselves. You’d think alcohol could loosen you up but with our level of play, even at its most basic, it was a liability.  

Another thing that keeps me thinking and rolling this evening around in my mind is how the lifestyle parts of my psyche work with his.  Mr. D has brought out a baby girl and a pain slut in me. Both are fairly new to my experience.  Of course they are not separate personalities but simply descriptors for the kinky aspects  of my personality. Strangely, they seem to be at odds sometimes. To be a pain slut, I need to quiet the scared little girl to some extent or else I set off Mr. D’s protectiveness and that takes over from his sadistic side.  

What a many faceted world it is we are traveling through.  I am thankful I am exploring it with him.  

Fire

He lights a candle and holds it close.  The light is soft and lures me.  I bask in the glow.  Once he feels me respond to his subtle little flame, he adds more fuel.  

The brightness shines a light over my soul.  He looks ever so closely and sees all of me.  He sees what I want to show, he sees what I hide.  He finds my fears and notices the barriers of my walls. 

A flame thus ignites within me. I respond in kind to his beacon.  I quake in fear that he sees me, that he knows my every secret.  But his light continues to shine bright as day even though my sins are now exposed. 

I see now that he will not turn away.  He wants my sin, he wants my hidden terrors.  He wants my dirty, rotten imperfections.  I roll like a swine in mud.  He grants me freedom to be the basest of pitiful things.

His high beam of stark honesty and vision ignites.  He takes the clay before him and carves out the pure beast within.  His talons grip me, his voracious fire consumes me.  I burn, oh how I burn in his realm.

From the fire emerges a passion that seeks its match and finds it in him.  Red and tumultuous, hot and painful it engulfs us.  The flames lick and eat and take their fill.  The eager coals smolder and deprive me of all my air.

I pant and rut.  His fire turns me on a spit.  Every basted bit is lashed by his words and his tongue.  No reason allows me succor. My thoughts, my being,  the primordial spark of me bends to him.

He fears losing control.  I can’t help him with that.  All my heart and morbid desires want him to lose himself and break me.  Each speck of glorious light I sense in him is answered with a raging wildfire.  

Heaven help me, he called me an angel.  But all I want is to grovel at his feet, to debase myself completely.  The fiber of my mind crackles in the viscous lava of my subservience to him.

Please, I beg of you, destroy all meaning.  Tear my walls and protections from me.  His voice stirs wicked desires.  His dirty words bind me to him for all eternity.  I fall deeper into the abyss gladly. 

Words

His words oh his words

They take me on a ride 

Through my darkest places

Each syllable caresses

A wave of emotion to ride

Surrounding me within him

The meanings fill me

His dark intent made clear

With loving torture

Each staccato riff cuts

Each baritone whisper soothes

My mind on the knife’s edge

I live in the notes of his play

My soul dances with his 

I am crushed and reborn

He makes me his whore

My identity his to take

Owned and set free

Word by word a new vista

An aural heaven found

Bliss wrapped in care

Evil incarnate cradles me

My psyche in his talons

Inky corridors my home

Fulfilled in his dark depths

Made whole in his realm

Please keep me here forever