Back from Heaven

Okay, so it wasn’t exactly heaven but 7 days in Cancun with Daddy was pretty amazing.  I had him to touch and hold and talk with for a whole week.  That part was divine. 

We were there to be witnesses to Goddess and El Jefe’s ten year vow renewal.  They had family and friends along for the event. Some of the guests were fun, some were crazy, some were kink-friendly and some were downright weird.  All-in-all it was an eventful week.  

The wedding was lovely.  Goddess was beautiful, El Jefe was handsome, my Sweetie was their well-spoken and touching minister.  Our friend Painted Lady was the maid of honor and I was a bridesmaid.  

Daddy and I were responsible for the bachelor and bachelorette parties.  I’ll have to tell you all about them.  They both had a little crazy aspect to them, as it should be.  We had a fun time of it. 

More to come soon.  I just wanted to stop by and say hello! 

Stop and Start

That’s me, the queen of stopping and starting again.   I suppose (so, I tell myself) that dedication does not always come in a long unbroken chain.  We all have fits of downtime, hard time, or breaks in our stride.  Clearly many more are better than I am but I pride myself on (at the very least) my dedication to beginning again. 

So, here I am for the long haul.  I’m dedicated to writing.  I’m dedicated to my Dominant.  I’m dedicated to my son and my family.  Now, what am I going to do?

What I’m going to do has been the paramount question on my mind for months now.  My son’s life is here, my Sweetheart is now in Texas.  What do I do?  When I ask for others opinions, I get them.  But really I get that person’s point of view.  They don’t quite  understand how I am so the help doesn’t seem useful.  I dearly love them all for trying.  But bottom line, I will have to make a decision and no matter which way I go, it will break someone’s heart. 

My Daddy wants me with him and I want to be with him to have our amazing life together.  But to do that I must take my son away from all he’s known and his father.  How can I choose?

Several people say, just take your son, your Ex will just have to deal with it.  That feels so crass and heartless.  The words make me recoil.  Just because he’s an Ex and he did some pretty crappy things while being an active drunk doesn’t mean it’s ok to take his son away.  He got sober.  He’s been sober for years now.  He’s a completely dedicated father.  He is selfish and lacks insight when dealing with his son but is that just cause to lose his son’s proximity?

My Daddy is in Texas now.  He chose a position that will free him from his financial bonds.  It has allowed him to make up a huge chunk of ground he lost during the recession.  He wants financial stability for our future instead of a long struggle.  I totally understand that.  We can buy a house there, a nice house for all of us.

I want to be with him always.  I can’t think of missing him too much or I start crying and I can’t lose myself to that.  I’ve never loved someone like this before.  In all honesty, I loved my Ex but nothing like this.  Daddy and I have a connection unlike any I’ve ever felt.  He compliments me, the real me, like no other.  He is so intelligent he puts me to shame sometimes.  I love our banter.  I love that he picks up on things others do not.  He is funny and lighthearted then dark and intensely sexual. All the facets of him feed the facets in my heart and soul.  He loves my son for who he is.  My son has challenges and is deeply into his puberty at the moment but Daddy sees his goodness and overlooks his growing pains.  

When Daddy moved in we were able to grow in the direction of a nuclear family.  We achieved a routine of sorts in the short time we had together.  Family dinners most nights, playing games, the little things of a complete life. My son was so enamored of it.  So was I.  We were a complete family together.  Our D/s suffered in the transition but I knew we’d eventually figure that out.  We are both focused on not letting that ever slip away. 

Now I must choose.  How do I choose?  Either way my son suffers.  If I stay, he loses out on a nuclear family.  If I go, he will be distanced from his father and will most likely have to go through a legal battle which (knowing his father’s slowness to forgive) could stain their relationship forever. 

Daddy says he will wait for me no matter what it takes.  His level of selflessness and willingness to sacrifice rival any submissive act I could ever offer him.  How can I ask this beautiful man to wait years for me?  

So, there is my torture with all my angst and anxiety.  I have laid myself bare.  Any thoughts you have for us would be welcome.  

Four And Two

      Four days since I last wrote, two days until I see Daddy!  Woo!
      Getting on a plane, packing some essentials. Daddy says it’s brrr cold there so I have to pack ALL the things.  I told him he is my warmth.  I plan on being glued to that man for four days solid.   Mmmm

      I need to button up some things here before I go.  Like, when’s the last time I shaved?  Okay, I’m not a Shar-Pei but it’s been a few days.  I need to pack and make sure the house is ready for when we return. 

      I have zero energy at the moment. I get home from work and I’m fighting sleep the whole evening.  It really sucks for getting anything productive done.  Not sure what that’s all about.  I had steak twice to get my iron up.  No idea. 

      I’m snuggled up in bed and it’s so cold I don’t want to get up yet.  The cat is even under the covers it’s so cold.

      Okay, time to get on with the day.  Hugs Kinky Peeps.

      Grumpy needy horny

      The problem with having a sex blog is you have nothing much to write when you aren’t having sex. 

      I could write about the sex I want to have when I see Daddy again.  Okay, that’s a good idea. Or I could write some fiction.  Maybe. It would be a good exercise of my writing skills.  Though, lately I’ve read several erotic fiction stories that were eh.  I don’t want to write eh.  

      The emotions Daddy inspires are visceral, it makes it easy to write about our time together.  That is the kind of writing I like, when it comes out of me in one big rush of heat and steam. 

      So, at the moment I’m dealing with some parenting issues, decorating for Christmas and thinking about painting.  We’ll see how the writing works out.  

      Stay tuned.

      Lock, Stock and Barrel

      It was the day after Thanksgiving and we were just home from shopping together for my son’s Christmas present.  Afterwards, we picked him up from our friend’s place and came home together. 

      We were lying in bed because we’re both sick and doing much of anything was tiring.  It was midday.  My son had been talking with Mr. D from separate rooms, bantering as they do.  My man and my teenager both have ribault senses of humor so the verbal jousts were entertaining.  My son does his best to keep up and he loves the game. 

      After a few minutes, he came in and crawled on the bed between us to snuggle up to us.  His arms were around me getting his snuggles and his back was cozied up to Mr. D.  I was so content lying there with my men. 

      At one point in the conversation I could see that Daddy wanted to say something.  “I have something I want to ask you both.” My son kept talking away, oblivious. Daddy started again but got interrupted by the boy chatter again.  He then pushed my son’s face down into the covers of the bed playfully. “Hush, I’m talking now.” He said. 

      My son looked up to him then and quieted down.  Daddy spoke directly to him but his eyes held mine.  “We both know I love Mom very much and I love you too. I want us to be together for always. We all know it’s just a matter of time before I marry mom.”  My son smiled at that, so did I. 

      “So, Baby Girl, will you marry me?”  I looked up into his eyes trying to comprehend the question.  We’re sick in bed with the boy, Daddy is a planner by default and this feels so spontaneous.  Is he really asking me now?

      “Will I marry you?  Wait…you’re really asking me?” I asked.  I needed clarification. He had recently told me he had a plan to ask me at our friends’ vow renewal in Cancun. (He doesn’t keep secrets long) This was definitely not Cancun. 

      “Yes, my Love, sick and in bed with the boy, I’m asking you to marry me.” 

      “Yes, I’ll marry you.  I love you so much.”  We kissed and I was so very, very happy.  Still stunned but completely happy.

      Before my son could interject, Daddy said, “And do you approve? I’m asking you too because you’re part of this.  Do you want me to marry your Mom?”

      “Yes! Definitely! You’ll really be my Step Dad now.” My son was beside himself with glee.  He’d been asking me forever when Mr. D would make it happen.

      Afterwards, we got up and went to the jewelry store just as we were.  Sick, frumpy, no makeup or a nice dress with my hyper son in tow I followed my Master, Daddy, my Husband-to-be in to pick out a ring.  

      As I sat there waiting for the sales ladies to do their thing and Daddy was on the other side of the store with my boy picking out a ring for the little guy too, my heart swelled so much it felt like it would fly away.  How perfect a day, how well he knows me.  

      I wouldn’t trade this special day for any fancy production.  No need for glitzy clothes and expensive dinners.  We joined our lives in the place I love the most.  Together snuggling in bed. 

      Daddy’s Home

      Good morning.  I missed posting last night.  With Daddy returning home and the election, I was distracted from writing.  

      So happy Daddy is home!  We had dinner together and listened to my son lose his mind over his first election.  It was entertaining to say the least.  This has been the first time he’s been aware and involved in the whole process.  It was telling to hear how his uneducated focus was filled with the rhetoric of the internet.  I have worked to be his voice of reason by filling in the details of how government in the US works.  We’ve been working on an essay about George Washington’s presidential qualities at the same time.  Hopefully, some of our talks sink into his maturing psyche to offset all the hype and drama out there. A mother can only hope. 

      Daddy is sick so I didn’t expect we’d have sex but true to our dynamic we did.  We seem to plough through whatever adversity with our sexual attraction to each other leading the way.  Yay. 

      God, I needed him.  His touch and our connection light me on fire and warm me through and through.  No matter if it is a full blown scene or simply perfunctory before bed vanilla sex, I need him and it sates my ache.  

      So, hopefully this fills my quota for last night’s talk and I will talk to you again tonight.  Love and hugs.  No matter if you are pleased with the election or think the cart is now off the rails, the kinky world will go on.  

      Big fluffy booby hugs my people. 😘

      Packing

      Mr. D is in Texas for a couple more days. Maybe I should change his pseudonym to The Texan? Naw. I know we all do our best to protect our anonymity but some of the pseudonyms I’ve seen are just plain funny. 😂 That might be a great writing prompt. A Saturday Night Live-esque skit using all the questionable pseudonyms online.  

      The Liberator whipped out his big unit, I call it Thor’s Hammer.  He turned me around and standing in the doorway was none other than Magnus Trojanus.  I knew I was in for a trip to the ER.  Giddy! 

      No? It could have legs.  I might work on that scenario, polish that bad boy up. What else is going on today? I’m packing up half our stuff to make Mr. D cozy in our new apartment.  Being a homespun girl, I have plenty of kitchen/bathroom stuff for two houses.  Time to get busy. 

      I’m also washing the various and sundry sexy things I’ll pack up to send along with him.  He already packed most of the toys.  Can’t wait for our Texas place to have the spanking bench out and privacy to use it.  That right there is the silver lining in our stormy weather. Yeah buddy!

      I think I might boot up my laptop today and do some blog maintenance.  I would love to post pictures to all my blogs but the research to find sexy and legally usable images sometimes takes as long as writing does.  I have a day dream of posting all personal pictures of my own.  Maybe someday.  At the moment, this is what you get.  I could be all Domme and say, “take what you get and like it, then lick my boots!” but that is definitely not me. Ha!

      Happy Sunday Everyone!