Why Write?

I’ve been asking myself this a lot lately. It is a clear sign that I have writer’s fatigue. Right at this moment I don’t have a burning desire to write. When this happens I struggle with it. I want to write but it’s like slogging through mud in fishing boots.

I mentioned this to a friend I used to blog with back in the day. He said that perhaps I need more immediate feedback and that’s true. When I blogged on places like Yahoo 360 and Multiply there were whole communities of bloggers and it felt like Home. We riffed off each other’s writing and it was fun. I see that happening for many on this site but I haven’t been able to scratch the surface much. I am sporadic at times and this does not build a social group. Plus, WordPress is a classic blogging site rather than a social platform.

Perhaps, it’s that I’m writing about real life now instead of my fantasies. I’ve written two different blogs in the past. They were family-based or kink lifestyle-based in some fashion. I would bounce up and down the scale of dedication to both. Real life blogging is a unique type of storytelling. You actually need some real event to write about. You can’t tell a pithy or anecdotal story if nothing interesting happened that day. If you force it then it simply becomes FaceBook. This isn’t that.

My lifestyle blog in the past was about how I wanted to learn about the lifestyle. It was a good chunk of exploration with fantasy peppered throughout. Now I write about the lifestyle I currently live. It’s been suggested that I write some fantasy again. Ok.

But if someone is coming to a reality-based kink lifestyle blog do they really want to hear my fantasies? Maybe or maybe not.

What really irks me to no end and I’m sure bothers my Dominant is we’ve had some amazing scenes, one in particular, that I haven’t written. Every time I go over the events in my mind I can’t summon the words to do it justice. So, I get down on myself and that dampens the process further.

All this has been rumbling around in my mind while steaming hot scene writing has escaped me. Your thoughts are welcome.

9 thoughts on “Why Write?

  1. Beautiful Amor,

    It happens to the best of us. I know precisely the feeling. I saunter between my many blogs. One is family based. One chronicled my search for a Dom and this one is memoir based. I’ve not written on the Dom/BDSM one for so long. And it’s not because there’s nothing to write, but it’s our day-to-day. The search is over. I found him. I’ve taken long breaks on here too. On all of them.
    So my point is this…you have a gift. I’ve followed you from my other blog (50shadesofsaved) for a long time. I’ve always loved your posts. I think many relate to you and your story. Don’t get sucked into labels. Even if it is “real-life” there is nothing wrong about you writing about a fantasy and then updating us about what happened when it happens. Or starting a category of fantasy posts.
    Just some thoughts. Sorry for the long response. But I truly relate to the place you are.
    All my love,

    1. Hi Tessa, I love your response! Thank you so much. I had a ‘find him’ or rather ‘find the lifestyle’ blog for a long time too. When I started this blog again it switched to ‘living the lifestyle with him’. I loved that it was all real…what really happened. I lived the fantasy for too long before that. I see your point though. I’ll mix it up a little. I need to write and after reading your comment, I think whatever it takes to kick it in gear is good. Thanks so so much Tess. Xoxo

  2. Darth Deviant


    I completely relate to how you are feeling, but perhaps a bit in reverse. My blog has no direction and my writing jumps between styles, topics, and purpose so often that I feel my imagination and creative brain zones have multiple personalities. Sometimes, I re-read what I write and think, “What is the point? Pick a path, or else you won’t get people to read.” I have no writing purpose and fear that my writing comes off as disjointed, and you seem to have a purpose in mind but fear straying from it at all and disappointing your audience.

    So I encourage you to take a step to the side and write whatever is rattling in your mind. I enjoy reading your blogs of personal revelation and struggle just as much as I enjoy reading about steamy sessions of sex and exploration. Whatever feels correct, that’s what you should write. The key (at least for me) is to just write. Because writing is a part of who I am, for myself. I think it is the same for you.

    And I’d happily become part of your writing community… if you want a disjointed crazy person in it. Just because WordPress isn’t built for it, doesn’t mean it cannot be formed. Emails, evil social media messengers (like Facebook), etc.

    Anyways, continued good luck and happiness to you and yours!

    1. DD, thank you for your thoughts on this. It’s such a relief to hear others dealing with similar things. I rather enjoy your disjointed flow. 😊

      Yes, I see that I’ve pigeon-holed myself a bit. I do need to write, you’re right about that. I feel anxious when I don’t. I get all stuck up in my head, ach.

      I love the idea of building a community. That would be amazing. I love having followers and getting likes on my post, who doesn’t? But when I get all the subscriptions to everyone’s writings in email it just feels like more email. I read some and then I get buried or pulled back to life. When I come to WP to read friend’s blogs I find I haven’t read their blog in 8-10 posts. Yikes! I’m a terrible follower. There’s a balance in there somewhere but I’m not achieving it in this platform.

      Thanks again for responding. It’s so nice to have a conversation about the angst writers put themselves through. 💞

  3. I attended an art show recently and stayed for the panel discussion with the artists afterward. The group was split between those who made art for a living and those for whom it was an avocation. They all described their pieces, their process, what was next. When the floor was opened for questions I asked if any of them could imagine life without making art. Surprisingly three (or almost half of the group) said they could easily imagine a happy life without making art. Huh! Instead of the obvious follow-up of why do it, we talked overtime about the “what” of it. Turns out these three artists in particular were unhappy not with making art, but in the kind of art they were making. Pet portraits on deadline or inking someone else’s comics sounds like work to me, and it was to them. I’m with DD above-I change style and genre often. And when it doesn’t work…(a little like now honestly) I let it go for awhile. Hike, bike, or whatever…and wait for it to come around again. But don’t sweat it-

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