I've noticed I go through highs and lows. Maybe it's hormones maybe I just miss Daddy. I don't know what it is. I just notice the cycle.
Right now is the low. I feel it cover me like a cloying blanket. I drag myself out of bed, drag myself to work, then I work like a fiend because I let work dominate my soul like that while I'm there.
Afterwards, I drag home and sit on the couch. Tonight, I have no child to care for so it's either easier or harder, I haven't decided. Easier, because when he's here I must care for him. Harder, because he distracts me with his teen all consuming everything, which is helpful.
Blah blah blah. No one wants to hear this. I don't even want to write it. I think it's only valuable as a journal-writing exercise that will hopefully vent the pent up steam. Masturbating every damned night ain't doin' it.
Enigmatic Amor 
I hope you get to be with him soon😊
Woman person. I love you and will be back in town soon. I too long to be with you. If I had stayed it would have been very difficult. If you had followed this month it would have been difficult. Living apart is also really difficult.
Sometimes life is a test. Only you can rise above it. This is nothing compared to what you went through with he who shall not be named.
You love to be pushed and tested in service. You love with all your being. Opportunities like last night should be used to write the things you haven’t yet. Or to practice with the florentine flogger I left you. Or to write erotic fantasy with the plug in your ass….
I crave you. I think of you so very often it’s unreal. I tease and torment you as often as I feel prudent. I am yours Baby. But you have to make your happiness. You have to be You happily before all else.