Sorry folks, I have so much to write about but stress is not a great mistress when it comes to writing. All I want to do right now is crawl into a deep hole with a tub of ice cream.
Daddy is away in Texas and I can’t sleep. I’m up all evening eating random weird things. Last night it was a whole package of beets then later it was gluten-free toaster waffles. It sucks to only have healthy food in the house when you want to binge on crap.
Daddy and I are going to be living apart for a while. I have no idea how long. We started looking at houses, lovely houses that dreams are made of. Now Daddy has an apartment that is only his and I’m stuck here with 4 more years to parent my child, the other love of my life.
I’m doing my damnedest to be upbeat, to work the problem like I usually would. Find a way. But I’m stuck. Every direction I turn something awful will happen.
I’ve been so emotional since Saturday. We played, it was intense and absolutely needed, I’ll tell you about it. After we played Daddy left for Texas the next day. I’ve been distraught and trying to keep it together, trying to be my normal positive self. Not easy.
At first I thought it was a bad sub drop. It would have been the first time that happened for me. But I don’t think that was it. It is just the reality of our situation settling in.
Fuck, fuck, fuck.