Stream 

This is a stream of consciousness write today.  Usually, I have a definite scenario or subject in mind.  Today, I just need to get words on screen, so to speak. 

In the midst of moving in together I dropped my writing.  Not that I have an excuse.  Every intentional practice can easily fall by the wayside if you aren’t careful.  Really, ask me when I last went to the gym.

But this is important to me and to Mr. D.  So, no matter what is going on in life and how many days it’s been since I wrote, it is constantly on my mind. Like the D/s lifestyle, not always at the forefront of my focus but always there, always a part of me and of us.

I have been in a quandary lately about work.  My work is completely in the non-lifestyle non-friendly realm.  If anyone from my work happened to link this blog together with me I’d be looking for a job.  I love what I do but clearly I can’t be 100% me.  Can any of us really, though? Some can, most can’t.  It weighs on my mind lately though. I guess you do what you do until the cons outweigh the pros.  

The first two weeks of Mr. D and I living together have flown by.  It’s been a peaceful time fitting our lives together into a whole.  With a child in the house a majority of this time, we haven’t had much adult play time at all. 

I was so aware of this last night that I wound myself up into a needy little stress cadet. Everything that could go wrong did.  My child was stressed to go to dad’s.  His dad was late, house was locked, dinner late for Daddy, on and on.  I was so in my head about it all that our sex was affected.  

Learning curves are necessary but not always fun.  I’m still learning to put away my troubles and focus on how best to serve in the moment.  Last night, I was not so great at that.  I rushed my child and was late for Daddy.  I didn’t end up serving either one very well at all.  

So, I pick myself up and try again.  That’s all there is to do.  

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