No Half Measures

This weekend I spent a large amount of time being 100% present with my son. We turned off all electronics and did things we hadn’t done in a long time. We played with old toys, we colored in adult coloring books, we worked on a science project together. It was very needed. But coming out of the weekend, I have this feeling of loss. I didn’t write, I didn’t get anything else accomplished. 

I see myself and know that I can be very good at multi-tasking when it comes to work or household chores. But, I can also have very pinpointed tunnel vision. I see my blog and I either write in great volumes or I’m non-existent. My friends either see me a lot or not at all. During my time with Daddy, my friends have voiced how I have disappeared, sucked up into the vortex of my desires to be with Daddy.

I am not a half measure person. I am completely engulfed by Daddy, ensnared by the connection we have. Our lightning and thunder fills my every waking thought until I realize that I’m needed by my son or I eek out an afternoon for one of my friends. 

Balance, what’s that? I don’t do balance well. I try very hard, but I fail a lot. I’d love to be one of those regimented souls who can consistently do little bits here and there and keep all the balls in the air. I recommit to that on a consistent basis. I suppose that’s something.   

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5 thoughts on “No Half Measures

  1. If I must I can manage your schedule Love. A spanking here. Luncheon there. Masturbation at precisely 2:15 followed by retrieving the boy. Dropping off said offspring and visiting Caroline. Then an hour of writing followed by making dinner pantiless …

  2. I’m like this too but more so when it comes to things like hobbies. One minute I’ll be obsessed with something and do it everyday. The next, over it. Can’t be bothered at all. It’s all or nothing for me.

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