The marathon happened on Thursday. Today Daddy had me write for him and while he read it he had me worship his cock. He thanked me for my honesty in writing and asked if there was anything I’d change about Thursday’s play. We talked about things we could do to help put the day behind us so that I would be better able to be fully in the moment on the week days.
This brought more talk and it turned out to be a really wonderful sharing between us. I write for many reasons. One of them is that I still work on ways to communicate better. I hesitate to bring things up at times or to speak up. I work really hard to communicate fully. I realize that it is my failing so I do everything I can to mitigate that. Writing all the thoughts and actions of our dynamic from my point of view gives Daddy another way to see me and guide us.
Because we talked things out so thoroughly, I have less of a need to write about Friday night but I will do so anyway. I arrived at Mr. D’s house later than usual. My evening had devolved from the normal routine so after a long day I was harried and tired. I showed up unshowered and in my work clothes. As we said our hellos and he finished the show he was watching, I kept yawning. The marathon sex the night before had kept us up pretty late.
He said I could have a shower then we’d relax in the bedroom. Once I was clean we got in bed and next thing I know I’m between his legs sucking his cock. How did I get there? The usual way of one thing leading to another.
We moved on to sex. I was so tired I don’t remember specifics. I know I rallied. I know he took me to that place where our passion transcends everything else. I know I was shocked at how incredibly wet I got. Whatever he did it triggered me big time. I felt how wet I was as he thrust inside me, I could feel the wetness seep to the sheets under me.
He got between my legs and was pleasing me. I was rhything under him and he told me that he would keep doing what he was doing but I would have to direct him. He wanted me to tell him faster, slower, harder, etc. I know what he wanted. I thought he was a dear sweet Daddy for wanting to know exactly how to please me. Right then though I was so tired there was just no way I could. I told him, “I don’t know Daddy. I don’t know!” It was a hard enough task if I had been awake. Half asleep it was impossible.
He began fucking me again and looked down into my eyes. “What’s wrong? You look pained.” He stopped and looked down at me waiting for an answer.
“Daddy, I’m… I’m just so tired.” I moaned. “I’m sorry.” I was upset all of a sudden.
“We didn’t have to have sex silly woman. I brought you in here to rest. Roll over, go to sleep.” He pushed me over and threw the blanket over me. I closed my eyes. I was so exhausted right then but I was immediately so sad.
In my diminished state I got so disappointed at myself. I didn’t want to let him down. And then I did even worse and gave him sex with a zombie sleepy woman, great. And I let myself down by not speaking up for myself, one of my very worst shortcomings. It was a trifecta of me fucking up.
Right then I heard from the other side of the bed, “Get out of your head, I’m not upset with you.” I nodded and tears just started rolling. He can read my damned thoughts now too. I can’t hide at all, I was a mess. I pulled him around me and held onto him for support. Oh, how I love him for knowing me, for seeing what I go through and why. And most of all for taking care of me so well. I am truly blessed to be his.