I just published a post I had written the day after the attacks on Paris.  It never posted that day for some reason.  Probably because everyone on the planet was checking on family over the Internet. It’s pretty amazing that so many people were able to let their loved ones know they were safe through social media like Facebook.  What an amazing gift.

Anyhow, I came here tonight to post my feelings and got distracted by the Paris post.  I’m finally home and so happy to be here.  I have my son with me and he’s been getting over his withdrawals from two weeks without mom. At the same time, I haven’t had any time with Mr. D until today.  We’ve seen each other twice but those times have been with my son and not alone time.

I feel like I was given a tiny bit of the drug that keeps me living.  I’m not sure if I would have been better off going cold turkey a few more days or if it helped.  I want more of him.  I can feel a hollow place where he lives and fills my heart.  I need him in some visceral way.  Please let it be Tuesday very, very soon.