I have an early night tonight on the travel schedule. It’s 9 o’clock here and I’m showered and in bed. I was thrilled when I knew we’d be home early because I knew I’d be able to write. I know how much Daddy misses me writing and I miss it too.
I haven’t written about our entire last weekend together. I was behind writing when I arrived to see him that weekend so the time I spent writing then just got me caught up to that weekend. I had writing on my mind that whole week prior but hadn’t made it happen.
At one point during the weekend Daddy held my head to his chest and told me he was disappointed that I hadn’t written. It was honest and raw to my ears. He told me I wasn’t in trouble and that he wouldn’t punish me but told me how much it means to him.
It made me feel so much more deeply how important my writing is to him. He needs to hear what worked, what didn’t and the thoughts in my head so he can move us forward in this lifestyle.
I try my best. I really do. He knows that. He also knows everything else on my plate. But there’s only so much I can do for so many. I spread myself too thin. I’m learning not to do that. At least I think I am.
Once I’m back from this trip, I’m focusing on family. That’s it. Mr. D and my son come first then the rest of the family. One thing at a time, just the most important things.
I miss my Daddy so much it hurts. I feel tears ever near the surface. Damn it all. Why did he have to find all my buried emotions and bring them to the surface? Really, I was just fine before! 😉