I have an early night tonight on the travel schedule. It’s 9 o’clock here and I’m showered and in bed. I was thrilled when I knew we’d be home early because I knew I’d be able to write. I know how much Daddy misses me writing and I miss it too.
I haven’t written about our entire last weekend together. I was behind writing when I arrived to see him that weekend so the time I spent writing then just got me caught up to that weekend. I had writing on my mind that whole week prior but hadn’t made it happen.
At one point during the weekend Daddy held my head to his chest and told me he was disappointed that I hadn’t written. It was honest and raw to my ears. He told me I wasn’t in trouble and that he wouldn’t punish me but told me how much it means to him.
It made me feel so much more deeply how important my writing is to him. He needs to hear what worked, what didn’t and the thoughts in my head so he can move us forward in this lifestyle.
I try my best. I really do. He knows that. He also knows everything else on my plate. But there’s only so much I can do for so many. I spread myself too thin. I’m learning not to do that. At least I think I am.
Once I’m back from this trip, I’m focusing on family. That’s it. Mr. D and my son come first then the rest of the family. One thing at a time, just the most important things.
I miss my Daddy so much it hurts. I feel tears ever near the surface. Damn it all. Why did he have to find all my buried emotions and bring them to the surface? Really, I was just fine before! 😉
4 thoughts on “Missing Daddy”
I don’t want you to hurt or be emotional. It will be extremely difficult but if fine is what you want I can depart the pattern. Your choices are yours Love. If you choose me then you choose to live and to feel. The raw passion, the softness of a touch, the sting of the paddle, the warmth of my breast, the heat of my body, the love in my desire, and the intensity of my needs… you are Muse. You are a unicorn, a mermaid, or an angel… an otherworldly being, an ethereal mistress who demands my blood boil and my heart race. You are consuming me and I love every minute of it.
But if fine is what you desire…
There is no departing for me and I never wish for you to be anywhere but with me. ‘Fine’ was tongue-in-cheek. I want it all. I want the hurt, I want the pain, I want it raw and passionate. I want to be laid bare before you. I want you to own the all of me. I give you my good and my bad, my strong and my weak. I am Yours my Love. For all that this means.
The me of me was locked away for so very long. Feeling all the emotions is new and hard and so necessary. You bring them out, you are my Love, my Daddy and soon my Master.
As you wish Daddy, always as you wish. There is no leaving though for we and bound together.
I write as sometimes I send video messages to Alpha. I have not been blogging and have had so much material to share. It is a good thing that he pushes and encourages you to do so. I have found so much freedom in doing so. I love reading what you write, I feel like you are in my head as well. I told Alpha about your blog and I shared with him that I feel like we are sisters lost at birth who never had the opportunity to meet. Thank you for sharing so much. You have often helped me through situations and you didn’t even know it.
Thank you for saying so. I’m so glad my writing about what I’m experiencing also helps you. We are sisters in submission after all. I’m glad to have you as company on the journey. 🙂