Mind F*ck

Lying together on the bed, Mr. D whispered in my ear, “Touch yourself, cum for me.” We were kissing until then.  I thought we were heading in a different direction than this. Dutifully, I put my hand between my legs and stroked my clit. He was pressed against me.  We had only just begun, my body needed a lot to get going this way.  

I had been practicing cumming for him for weeks.  I’ve changed the whole way I masturbate.  Instead of porn, I only allow myself to masturbate while thinking of Daddy.  What always sends me over the edge is imagining his voice telling me to come.  I touch myself and think of him whispering in my ear and commanding me to orgasm.  At the end, I just imagine him repeatedly saying, “Do this for me, cum for Daddy.  Cum for me. I want to see my little slut cum.” Words to that effect, over and over.

Now, here I was, masturbating for him in earnest.  I wanted so badly to do this for him.  I felt my body slowly come awake.  It felt agonizingly slow though.  I hadn’t been prepared for this.  But damn it, no, I was prepared and this was happening.  I closed my eyes tighter and kept going. 

“That’s right baby girl, play with yourself for Daddy.” His lips kissed my cheek.  His hot breath tickled my ear.  That’s exactly what I wanted, exactly how I imagine him.  God, he turns me on.  His voice in my head sets a wildfire to blaze. My fingers moved faster.

“If you cum for me then I’ll fuck you.” His body pressed to mine.  I whimpered.  I wanted him and the need was growing.  What if I couldn’t cum for him? He’d still fuck me, right? Damn it.  I had my doubts.  I played with myself harder. I began to pant from the exertion. My body was responding now.

“What if I put my dick in you and just wait there?” He was toying with me.  Definitely, toying with me.  My hand moved in a blur over my clit.  Please God, let it build.  Let my body do as I ask! 

“Is it building my little slut?” I vigorously nodded my head.  What a lie. My cunt was puffy, my clit hard but damned if this wasn’t going anywhere.  My stress to perform was more than my body would put up with, traitor.

He leaned in and whispered dirty things in my ear.  I moaned.  I grabbed his shirt.  “I want you inside me Daddy.”

“Mmm, I know you do little girl.  But you have to cum for Daddy, don’t you?” Fuck! Double fuck, as my clit went running from my fingers.  I whimpered against him and kissed him feverishly.  What else could I do to get him to fuck me? I wanted him so badly but I couldn’t obey him.  I wanted to but my body just wouldn’t. 

“Shall Daddy put his dick inside your little cunt and wait until you cum for me?” Yes, yes, yes that’s what he should do!

“Yes Daddy, please!” 

He mounted me and shoved his cock deep in me.  Fuck yes, that’s what I ached to have.  Fill me Daddy, fuck me until I no longer exist.  But then he stopped moving. Fuck!

“Keep those fingers moving little girl.” I pushed harder on my clit and kept playing with it for him.  In the back of my mind, I knew exactly what he was doing.  Did he really expect me to cum in this situation? Probably not.  But I had worked so hard to get better at this. Though recently I hadn’t worked at it at all.  Life had taken that away for a while. Damn it, I only had myself to blame for not practicing.

He pulled out and pushed back in.  Yes, please, please more.  “Keep those fingers moving. You will cum for me.” My mind was over the edge.  Anything for Daddy.  Whatever Daddy wanted.  Give it to Daddy.

He began to fuck me.  His voice fucked my mind and his cock fucked my pussy.  “You’d better not stop.  I see those fingers stop and I stop too.” Okay, okay, I’m rubbing and rubbing! I don’t dare stop.  He’ll stop too.  Anything but that.

“Good girl.” That’s all I want, him happy.  Daddy happy with me. My fingers kept moving. I despaired, there was no way I was cumming.  But he was fucking me, that was amazing.  I was in turmoil.  The pleasure was intense, my body was convulsing, my mind was torn.  Please let me please him.  

“That’s a good girl, oh such a good little slut!” He thrust deep inside me and came so hard.  His body shook and he cried out.  I smiled and felt his body thrusting his seed deep into me.  I gave him pleasure, I pleased him and he came hard.

I was a good girl…but I hadn’t cum. As we slowed and came to rest my mind wouldn’t let go of that.  I didn’t do as he asked.  I couldn’t give him what he commanded.  A wave of sadness hit me and I had trouble breathing.  Let it go, I told myself.  He was pleased.  But even as my mind fought to hear it my heart just broke.  I hadn’t obeyed.

Get a damned grip on yourself.  I knew any second he’d check in on me and ask me if I was okay.  I wasn’t.  That would be bad.  

“You okay?” I nodded against his belly.  I was cocooned into him.  I was okay but I needed time.  Please just give me time to find okay again. I don’t want to worry him.  I held onto him.  He caressed my back and said, “Something’s not right.  Something is off.” He tilted my chin up so he could look at me.  I lowered my eyes.  

“I just couldn’t give you want you asked for.” I said.  I looked up to him hesitantly.

He chuckled. “That’s why it’s called a mind fuck Sweetie.”

“I know.” I really did know but it did a number on me even though I knew. How’s that for a mind fuck?

I got up and got a hot towel to wash us off.  I took a minute while the water got hot to calm myself more.

When I came back and washed him he told me to kneel beside the bed. “Honey, I didn’t expect you to cum. You’ve cum for me before.  If I really wanted to see that, I would have left you alone and let you cum.  Instead I messed with you and distracted you and made it so you couldn’t.”

“I know Daddy, I really do.  I just felt so sad even though I know you didn’t really expect it.”

“Do you want to keep playing like this? Maybe this was too soon since everything happened.” I shook my head.

“I want this Daddy.”

“I know you do Honey, or I wouldn’t have asked you to get on your knees right now. But if it’s too much or I go too far you need to tell me.” I nodded.  

He motioned me on the bed and I crawled into his arms.  Afterwards we talked and cuddled and he brought me back to my happy self.  He always takes care of me and makes sure I am okay.  I love him so much, I love that he tests me and pushes me and takes me to dark places with him and for him.

I know he will read this and worry some more.  He will change what he does and modify the way he handles me because of my words.  The Engineer in him can’t help but do that.  Sometimes I don’t want to write the hard things because I fear he’ll pull back and treat me too softly.  The Daddy part of him is very deep and protective.  But I always write it all.  I must tell every emotion I feel and recount it for him whether or not I fear change. He is my Dominant and it is for him to decide.  I don’t fear anymore that he’ll hide the darkness forever.  He won’t.  I see it there inside him and it calls to me. 

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