I’m learning more and more how to have very full days, stay relaxed, fit all the cares in and still enjoy the minutes in between.

Having a relative on a very long hospital stay teaches you things.  I see how my calm demeanor provides calm to others.  It makes me embody the calm peacefulness even more as I strive to serve. Hopefully, I honor my submissive nature as well as help my loved ones.

These seem on the surface to be very simple gifts but they are wrought from many years of struggle. I’m so incredibly blessed that I started this journey very early in life. I remember being the type who would love to arrive at work and share my ‘grumpies’ with others. It felt communal. Truly, it just drains all involved. For a while, I just faked the happy attitude. But that wasn’t honest.  Much, much later I have learned to just be and in my existence to share my inherent peace and joy.

I don’t succeed every day. Monday and Tuesday my child told me I was off. “What’s wrong mom? You’re different today,” seeing my jittery anxiousness.   I took the queue. I had to find the problem and fix it. It was only inside me but was affecting all around me.  Moods are like that…contagious. I have noticed I get that way sometimes after a spectacular weekend with Daddy. I miss him and I’m thrown off my usual pace.

Yesterday could have been tense.  I heard some bad news. But I had a good day, felt relaxed, and gave my peace to my lovies. I love when that flows.

Last night, Mr. D and I had an easy night.  He put up one of those iron pot racks for me. Then we played.  He asked me what was in my toy box.  I bought several things from an online sex shop that was having an insane sale after Christmas. I needed something for when we were at my house because I really had nothing. I even bought a box with a lock to keep the contents from curious eyes. Felt funny unlocking it for Daddy, like I was hiding us somehow.

I bought a flogger with a glass dildo for  a handle. Daddy took it out and inspected it. “That is a stingy one.” He said. Then proved it to me. Certainly was! Then he used the glass dildo on me. Wow, those are insane!  The cold, the hardness, the ribbing on the handle. Yummy. Daddy pummeled my pussy with that thing. I was arching and pushing off the bed it felt so insanely good. We definitely need to use that again.

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