Open, Poly and Swing

This weekend we stayed with friends. They are friends who Mr. D has played with sexually in his past relationship.  I’ve talked about us opening our relationship in past posts, which we haven’t done yet. We’ve been asked recently by others if we are open yet, so it was in the air as we drove the 6 hours to get to our friends’ place.

I asked Mr. D about his thoughts on how he sees poly, open relationships and swinging.  I wanted to hear what he liked and didn’t about each one. I have only experienced being another couples third.  I have never been in an open relationship myself.  I am not a very jealous person in general.  My impression of myself is that I would be a good candidate for an open relationship but until you are faced with something in actual practice you never know. There have been two times since beginning our relationship that I have felt jealous while watching  Mr. D flirt with someone. So, I know I would have some work to do.  He also has said that he had to get over his own jealousies with his last wife when they were open.  To me, that says that it is a process.  It also shows me that he would be understanding of me getting through that process.

His thoughts were that he would be open to poly and had almost had a third in his last relationship.  I have lived in a house with another woman and my husband.  It was platonic with her but I loved having a sister to share life, chores and cooking together.  It made everything easier. Swinging seems mainly to be casual sexual play with couples and others while together as a couple. I like the fun of that, but in practice, I don’t see it working for me unless I really know the people.  Mr. D agreed that he had trouble getting aroused if he wasn’t in the right mindset or the people were too new.  I told him I was totally comfortable with the thought of playing with the couple we were going to see but the couple that was currently pursuing us back home were not a couple I’d be comfortable playing with sexually.  I have been to a swing club once but the idea of hooking up with random people I’ve never met does nothing for me.  It feels dangerous in a non-safe sex way.  I didn’t see one person there use a condom.  Ewww.  Don’t come near me with that, I saw where it was 5 minutes ago. Shudder. 

The last category is an open relationship.  Now that I recall our conversation, I don’t think we talked about this one as much.  This is when either partner is able to go out and have sex with someone else without their partner being involved. This is what Mr. D had with his last wife. They each had a pass to play.  In theory, I like the freedom of that and if you completely trust your partner, I see it working. I see monogamous relationships where one partner wants less sex than the other and it hurts them both.  A lot of times medical issues make sex hard for one and I don’t think it’s fair that the other partner can’t fill that need elsewhere. I think we would have better marriages and less unhappy people this way.  But I haven’t been there yet so I’ll reserve my opinion.

Our first night with our friends, Mr. D and I and his best friend, I’ll name him El Jefe, stayed up late together.  The four of us had gone to dinner and had some drinks when we came home but then his wife, I’ll name her Goddess, went to bed.  I stopped drinking after that but stayed up to enjoy the boys.  The two of them are like twins.  They are two unique men but can finish each other’s sentences and are in complete sync with each other.  I love watching them riff off each other.

The three of us sat outside on the patio playing music. For a while the boys traded picking the songs then they let me in on the action.  They drank and we played music until 2:30 in the morning.  It was incredible fun.  We’d get a good song and the boys would start chair dancing and singing to me, I was enraptured.  El Jefe started taking shots off the bottle of rum.  Between them, with a little help from me, they finished a whole handle of rum.  These boys can drink! I saw Mr. D slowing down on drinking but El Jefe was having none of that.  He poured a shot for Mr. D.  “Have a shot Brother.”

“I want to be able to take care of my girl tonight after we’re done. I’m good,” says Mr. D.  

“I know you’re good but take a shot!” El Jefe was having none of this slowing down crap. Mr. D threw back the shot but put his tongue over the glass so it didn’t go down. Another song selection then El Jefe noticed the shot was still in the glass.

“Take a shot Motherfucker!” El Jefe was not to be denied. Mr. D looked at me with ‘what am I going to do about him?’ in his eyes. Then he took the shot.

“Brother, after this next song I’m going  to take my girl into the bedroom and you’re welcome to join us.” Mr. D looked at me judging where I was at with this offer.  I had told him on the drive that I was interested in them so here was my chance. My first thought was that Goddess had already gone to bed and I didn’t want to do anything that would hurt her.  I know they are open but I didn’t know all the details.

As I was thinking, El Jefe was also digesting this and right about then he said, “Well, that’s a very nice offer but I need twenty minutes to…,” then he pointed to the ceiling (indicating his wife upstairs) and made the sign of the cross to mean that he needed to get her blessing. I smiled seeing that.  As drunk as he was he was following their rules. So then it was up to me.

I’d been having some heartburn all evening and I wasn’t sure if 2:30 in the morning was the best time to start a new lifestyle entirely.  So, I hesitated.  “I would feel bad if you woke Goddess up in the middle of the night for this.”

“It wouldn’t be the first time.” He said. I laughed because I could see that was clearly the case.  What a great relationship to have. “Lady’s choice. We don’t push and it’s always your choice.” They both nodded.  That made me smile.

I politely declined.  I want it to happen just not drunk in the middle of the night without Goddess there.  Mr. D and I went to bed soon after that.

We started foreplay and Mr. D was on fire.  Obviously, the talking we were doing with El Jefe and the rum had him turned up a notch.  He told me to get naked and lie on the bed. He proceeded to go down on me so well and for so long that I was climbing the bed and the wall behind it.  By the time he got on top of me I was right up against the wall.  He usually makes sure we’re further down the bed but we were both too far gone to think about it at the time.  He entered me finally and I gushed around him.  There is nothing I wanted more than him inside me right then.  Both our heads were up against the wall as we fucked.  

“Slut, you have us up against this damned wall. It’s your job to keep us lower on the bed but here we are because you can’t keep from squirming away from my tongue.” What could I say?  Guilty as charged, mortified and more turned on now that he was growling at me for this.  Damn, he twists my insides just from the tone in his voice. It drives me wild.

After we made our way down the bed and started again, he began a slow thrust and brought his head down near mine.  “Look at me.” My eyes fluttered open, still lost in the sensations of him thrusting inside me. I looked up into his eyes.  He looked fierce and had that look of intensity he gets when he feels passionately about what is on his mind. “I will never bring someone else into this,” he gestured to show he meant into our relationship, “that I don’t feel is completely worthy. Do you understand?” I nodded and my heart melted.

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