Very rarely writing is like going to the gym. Instead of that feeling that pulls you viscerally towards the keyboard, you know you should write and yet the drive to get you moving just isn’t there. Everything I think to write just flits right back out of my head or sounds old, tired, overdone.
So, here I sit. Typing and not writing anything of substance. Where is my fire? It flew away on the winds of life in the real world. Life in the world of serving a Master can’t happen much when you are spending the majority of time in the life of a mom and working professional.
I do have some wonderful memories from the past several weeks to share. Mr. D starting having me honor him with a ritual greeting when I arrive in his presence. He only gave me the ritual when I come to his home. I kneel in his room and wait to be acknowledged, then I may look up and greet him. It has served to put me in a submissive mindset from the moment I arrive at his place. Now, I find myself kneeling to him in other ways and places just because I love to honor him that way and it makes me feel my submission all the more strongly.
Mr. D has learned some of my triggers and is using these to illicit my desire when he wishes now. He has found out that my neck is very sensitive. Any pressure, whether grabbing my throat, choking me, or grabbing my hair sends me quickly into a place I love to be. Is it sub-space? I don’t know. I’m not really sure what it is really. I think sub-space is more supposed to be a floating, disconnected place you feel after or during serious play. But maybe it is a pre-cursor of that. All I know is that when he pays attention to my neck and throat area I begin to melt, to feel short of breath, my eyes begin to glaze over and he can pretty much do whatever he wants with me. I can’t explain it beyond that. It pulls me right out of myself and all I focus on is him and his touch on me. Sighs
He did that today. We had a very relaxing morning and afternoon. We shopped for him and then he took me to lunch. We got back to my place and were sitting on the couch, he was playing with the dog. My pup loves him…loves his attention. I can’t blame him. At one point though, he began to trail the lightest touch on my leg. It tickled so I grabbed his hand. He gave me this look that said in no uncertain terms to allow him to continue. I let go. I bared it for a minute and grabbed his hand again. He was being playful and yet I felt him controlling me, controlling the action. I let go. I felt my body begin to react to his feather touch. It stopped being ticklish. He began to run that feather touch up around my throat. Damn, I wanted him. My breath became short, all I wanted was more of him. He can switch on the Dominance so easily. It just simmers there and is at his ready command. I love how he is so gentle and kind and deferential until he’s not. Then I melt.
Image used under Creative Commons Public Domain from Pixabay.
4 thoughts on “Getting Back on the Horse”
Hi there! I am really enjoying your posts, especially after having recently experienced my first short term but very happy submission relationship with a Dominant man. I don’t feel I can go back to vanilla relationships & am really keen ( more like desperate!) to find another Dom to pursue things with. I met my previous Dom online but not on a specifically BSDM community forum & with me not having any previous experience, Apart from finding fet life, I don’t really know where to go. If you could direct me in the right direction, I would be exceedingly grateful?
Thank you so much for the compliment. You have done the right thing signing up with Fet Life. Next, look for the groups of Fet that are in your area. Try going to some Munches. I Munch is a meeting at a local restaurant where Kink folks meet is regular clothes to talk and welcome new people. It’s a great way to start.
Sorry, I meant to say ‘distance submission’ relationship. We never met physically ( I wanted to).
That is a great, safe way to start. I’m sure those more authentically in the lifestyle may frown on that as not true lifestyle but it is nice because you can talk about what you like, what you don’t, try on ideas that may or may not be you without a full change to your life. Plus, I have met some of the most amazing, incredible people that way.