The topic of having others join us in bed or in life has come up in talks between myself and Mr. D. a few times now. When we first starting dating we talked about our past experiences.  After my marriage ended I had an experience with a couple.  It was hot and torrid and so enlightening for me.  I’ll give you the scintillating details of that experience sometime but for now just know that I have that one experience.  It was many sessions over the course of about a year.  I am still friends with them and the possibility of play this couple could be something we want to explore.  Mr. D, on the other hand, was in an open marriage.  He and his wife both played with others separately…I’m not sure if they played with others together but I know they both had their own lovers.

When, he and I first starting dating, we moved lightning fast. I think it was our second date, before we even had sex, that Mr. D sat me down and told me about his past open relationships and that he wanted us to start out monogamous.  He said that he wanted us to know each other, to work on our new relationship, and to learn about each other before the possibility of others entered the scene.  I was relieved and agreed wholeheartedly.

Since then, we have grown together and our relationship has grown. Still, I don’t know if I want to let anyone else in.  As I’ve grown closer to Mr. D and know beyond any doubt that I am his and he is mine, I don’t want to share.  Part of me wants to be selfish and keep him all to myself.  The little girl in me wants to keep my new toy and not share.  “Mine, mine, mine, mine mine!”

However. There are a couple ‘howevers’ I’ll share.  The first is that Mr. D is part of a community in which Poly relationships or at least sharing is part and parcel of their lifestyle.  At Christmas, we’ll be seeing these lovely folks and there’s at least one woman who is very interested in playing with my man again and probably playing with me too.  I love that he is wanted.  I love that I would be wanted, too.  But do I want this lifestyle?  And if I don’t, is it fair to ask my man to leave the lifestyle he’s used to?  I am not that type of woman.  I’m a submissive.  I serve, I don’t demand.  I also want to add to his life not close it down or take away from it.

The other ‘however’ is that when I think about having others in our bed, I can’t help but visualize this scenario in fantasy. I come home from work, I’m tired but I know he’s waiting for me.  I know I will feel his love and be in his arms.  I smile and walk in the door.  He greets me and says, put your things in our room.  I know I must greet him in proper protocol in the bedroom so I go there and kneel by the bed, hands behind my back, thighs wide apart, and eyes to the ground before me.  I think of my posture and make sure I am pleasing to him.  He comes in the room, I feel my heart race…it always does around him.  Then, he puts a finger under my chin. I look up and see him standing there with a woman on his arm.

Before I can say anything, he opens his pants and pulls out his cock. He looks at me and says in his firm voice, “I want her to watch my good little slut do her job.”  I suck him into my mouth, I do the best damned job I have ever done sucking him…I’m being watched by another woman.  I peek at her as I’m sucking him.  She’s gorgeous.  She reaches down and caresses my cheek, feeling his girth pushing in and out.  I have barely started typing this scenario and I’m wet and squirming in my chair!  Hot, hot, hot.

The crux of the matter is I’d love to serve him this way. As long as he demands it, commands it, or wants it, then it fulfills a deep visceral need in me to be his little slut, his girl, his everything.  His expectation of my acquiescence would be all that it would take for me.  The jealous little thoughts that flit around in my head when I’m thinking of him being with someone else are inconsequential compared to the need to serve him and my need for his pleasure.

Image from Wikipedia Commons used under Public Domain by Théodore Gericault.