Need

We are both in the middle of packing and moving. Life is too much and too busy right now. In quieter moments, I think about how we will be together soon. How we will live together. In those moments I ache for him. I want to kneel for him, I want to honor him and serve him. I want to be his baby girl.

Only during the times he is on my mind do I feel my desire and need. It’s like a faucet that is off but when I turn it on a flood comes out. I ache, I twist and bend with the thoughts I have of serving his desires.

I want to be his plaything again. I want to be his arm candy and his slut. I want to feel his eyes devouring me and his body on mine. I want to be his wanton toy, his sex doll.

Damn, I want so much.

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Baby did a bad bad thing

Baby Did a Bad Bad Thing

I went out with a co-worker to a Gala recently. Daddy said to send him pictures of us. My friend arrived late and we walked into the Gala in the midst of it so I didn’t send pictures until we were able to take them at the end of the night. Daddy was not happy. I made him wait all evening for what he asked for. He told me I would be punished. I felt horrible for making him wait.

“You will put in one of your plugs and play with yourself. Bring yourself almost to orgasm three times today. You will not come. You made me wait so now you will wait. Do you understand slut?”

I told him I did. I have a new plug with a jewel in the end. It is very bulbous with a short neck. I hadn’t worn it before. I lubed it then knelt beside the bed to insert it. That plug was so round and I hadn’t put anything in my ass in a long time. It was a struggle but it finally popped in. It stretched me and was very tight.

I laid in bed naked. I played with my nipples until they were nice and hard. Then I caressed down my belly to my pussy. I tickled the edges drawing out the sensations. I thought of Daddy fucking me with his hand on my throat. I imagined him calling me all sorts of vile things while he fucked me. My body responded, arching under my hand. My fingers strummed my clit hard and fast. I was so, so close. I felt my gut tighten and my legs begin to shake then I stopped.

Panting and coming down from the high of almost coming, I texted him that I had one down, two to go. I waited some time in-between. I didn’t want to come when I wasn’t supposed to and doing it again so soon would make that a risk

I began again. I tugged on the plug. It was so tight. When I pulled on it I could feel the bulb stretching me. I ran my fingers up the outer ring of lips from my ass to my clit. I shivered from the sensations that it brought. I closed my eyes and thought of many things to get my libido going again. Daddy fucking me. Then Daddy fucking someone else with me watching. Then two women fucking. My mind was all over the place, I couldn’t settle it. I kept rubbing my clit. I decided to forget the images, they weren’t working. I kept rubbing my clit and focused on the feelings. My body tingled, my clit was swollen, I tugged on the plug again. I love that feeling.

Finally, my body began to respond. Fuck my mind, we were doing this anyway. I felt the waves and little spasms start and then I stopped touching myself. Damn, I wanted to come! I texted Daddy and this time went right back to my punishment. If it took so long to get going the second time, I didn’t want to wait for the third. Plus, I was in serious need now. I was in the ‘fuck the consequences’ phase of this exercise. My need was in the lead.

I touched myself again. I touched my clit, too sensitive. So, I started with my nipples. I rubbed them hard. I punished them with pain. Ooo, the pain. I wanted Daddy’s pain, I ached for his dominance. I wanted to serve his craven desires.

I pictured myself kneeling before him. “Table.” He said. I put my hands on the carpet and leveled out my back to present myself as a table for him. I was nothing, just furniture. He was sitting on the couch. I didn’t know what he did or thought as I kneeled there, I was is object. Someone touched my ass. I couldn’t look but somehow I knew it was his best friend El Jefe.

“Go ahead, what’s mine is yours.” I heard Daddy say. His voice was dismissive. I felt a cock thrust inside me. I felt Daddy there, his presence holding me in place. His eyes watching me take it. And just like that, I was at the edge of coming. Fuck.

I stopped and texted Daddy that my punishment was complete. I wouldn’t make him wait again.

Coming Home

When last I wrote, Mr. D had just gotten a new position and would be transferred home. So far, we have found a new place to live and we’ll move in at the end of the month.

Mr. D is being completely overworked right now. He has the current job and the new job responsibilities together. I worry for him being stressed and tired. I’m glad we found a place so I can make his arrival easier.

I have been preoccupied myself with work, packing and house-hunting. Our D/s lifestyle has gone completely out the window. There is no time for such things in the midst of all this upheaval. I know we will find our center again but for now it’s buried in details.

I would love to say that my submission is so ingrained that I use it in these times of disarray. But, honestly, it has deserted me. The manager me has taken over. I long for the days, a month hence, when I can put the mantle of responsibility aside and kneel before him naked and in service to his needs.

Home Again

I have wonderful news to share. Mr. D interviewed for a job here and got it. He will be coming home to me! After a year of flying back and forth to see each other we will be in the same home sharing the same bed every night. Yay yay yay!

I loved many parts of this year but I’m so glad it is coming to an end. I loved going to visit Daddy. I loved the dedicated alone time we had when I flew there. It was like our own BDSM hideaway. I will miss that. I will miss our new state and the people there. It was a beautiful state with friendly people. I loved that we toured around like tourists together.

I think it is the pain slut in me when I say I’ll miss missing him. I hated leaving at the end of every trip but I liked feeling those feelings. Odd to say that I liked my tears but they did show me how deeply I love him and how anchored my submission to him is in my heart.

So, it will take some time and planning but he is coming home!

Masturbation Fantasy

I was masturbating recently and I came up with a fantasy that twisted me so hard. I have to share it with you.

I’ve been fantasizing when I masturbate a lot more lately. In my efforts to become more orgasmic with Daddy, I decided that masturbation with porn is not helpful. It’s kind of an automatic reaction. I watch a hot porn scene, cum and get on with my day. It’s about as exciting as brushing my teeth every morning. This is not leading me towards my goal so I’m trying not to do it as much.

I was in bed and I began to touch myself. I caressed my sides and my belly. I graze my fingertips so lightly on my skin that it raises goosebumps. Then I can feel my nipples harden. When I do it this way, without touching them directly, they get so hard so fast that the skin puckers and crinkles. It sends little shockwaves of nipple sensation through my body. God, I love that sensation.

I pictured a scene in my mind. This is what I saw as I touched myself…

I came home expecting to see Daddy and get a kiss hello but I couldn’t find him. I went into the bedroom and was shocked to find him fucking a hot girl. She was curvy and had great tits. He had her pinned under him, his cock full to the hilt inside her.

It was so hot seeing this but then I was immediately torn with jealousy and pain. He didn’t tell me he was fucking this girl. He’s supposed to tell me about them before he does. My face fell and I just stood there watching and twisting inside.

He turned because he felt my presence. “Strip and kneel slut. This is for you.” Then he went back to fucking her. I stripped my clothes off and knelt near the bed still watching them fuck. My pussy was dripping yet my stomach was still twisting with jealousy. This was for me? He had given me a clue. He was doing this as a scene for us.

Now the girl notices me naked and kneeling on the floor. “That’s hot. Does she do anything you tell her?” At this point Daddy rolled off her and made her get on top of him.

“Of course she does. She’s my dirty little slave. Now, ride me.” She got on top of him and began fucking him. Her tits bounced as she did. Then she started talking to me.

“I’d like a slave slut like you. I’d make you do all sorts of things. Fuck yeah, I would.” Then she moaned and rode Daddy harder. “God I love his cock. It’s a big fat cock, you’re so lucky to get fucked with it all the time.” I twisted some more as she rode him. I was so close to cumming now.

He moaned and I switched to watching him. I love watching Daddy cum. He cried out and shot his load into her. Her tits were bouncing as he filled her. When he was done he looked over to me. “I came for you Darling. You know what you have to do.” I knew but, wow, I had never had his cum that way.

“Get up here and lick it out of her. It’s Daddy’s cum.” I got up in between her legs.

The hottie looked at him then at me. “Fuck yeah, do it!” (I didn’t give her much in the way of a vocab, did I?) I licked her clean then made her squirm and cum herself.

In reality, I had cum when Daddy shot his load but damn I had to finish that scene in my mind while my body was twitching from a really good orgasm.

Orgasms

I have a little challenge and it goes something like this…sex is incredible and with Daddy, oh my goodness, it is through the roof good. Our connection is iron hot. And yet, I still have trouble orgasming when we have sex. It’s a me thing. I’ve told you all this before.

When I write about sex, I either don’t mention this issue so I can write the super hot scenes we’ve had or I write specifically about this problem. I think I’m going to try to pepper it into my writing in a less separated or obtrusive way.

It’s part of the life I lead and I’m actively pursuing resolution for it so I’m going to try it this way for a bit. Sex is amazing goodness even with the little challenges. I love every moment I get to have it with Daddy.

Following

I was responding to a comment and something came up that I thought I’d bring to a more public place for discussion. Those of us that write a blog all have certain things we do as part of this blogging way of life. It’s not just write, publish and reap millions of readers’ love and adoration. Is it? I mean, if it is for you that’s insanely good. Move along, there’s nothing for you here.

Like I said in my last post, this is a blogging platform not specifically a social one. If you want it to become a social one you have to work at it. Most followers at the beginning to middle stages of a blog are other blog writers. We’re interested and we’re here a lot more than general readers. It just stands to reason that we are each other’s audience to a great extent. What that means is that there is reciprocation needed. You can’t just write and move on with your day if you want to build a community.

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve read a blog post about someone’s guilt related to not reading all their followers’ posts. I feel that guilt all the time. I’m sure many of you do too…I’ve read it. I’ve gone back and forth with this guilt. I’ve tried to read through and comment on every subscription email I receive on your posts. I’ve tried to have a laissez-faire attitude of “I’ll read the ones that really interest me,” because I can’t read them all. Then I’ve fallen completely off the wagon and deleted them all in one swift fire sale of frustration. I haven’t found the sweet spot of following.

My question is what do you do? How do you handle the flow? How do you build community? I see some folks who have succeeded. They have a nice group of consistent commenters and they are having a grand time. I post a comment in the midst of their conversation and it makes me smile. I feel the glow coming from their light.

I know not everyone has the same goal. People blog for many different reasons. My own reasons vacillate back and forth. I write because I love to write. I write for my Dominant. He loves to read and it thrills me to thrill him. This is a way I can serve him and show my love. He likes to use my writing to assess how I did with his choice of scenes. He is a process thinker, an engineer. He needs input and I don’t always want to talk it all through. I love talking to him but I don’t always volunteer information, so I write and it’s

another way to communicate.

I am a social person and a service person. My submission to Daddy has a big service element. My work and parenting also have a service element. This means that I don’t do anything in a vacuum or just for myself. Which leads me to realize that I need to give weight to that in my writing endeavors too. I thrive on feedback. I thrive in a community. When the community or service aspect of my writing dwindles, I stop wanting to write as much.

I’d love to hear your thoughts on building a blogging community, how you are a good follower or why you write. Thank you to all who read and follow me. You are truly my lifeblood here.