Down and Back Up

Today I am dragging.  I miss Daddy with a ferociousness that flattened me upon waking in my bed.  

I know he’s feeling it too so I should just shut my mouth, be grateful I have him and move on with my day.  It just feels like I’m moving around through pea soup.

I want to accomplish so much but when I get home each day I don’t do any of the things I need to do. 

Tonight is an event I need to attend.  I so wanted to have fun at it but now I’m dreading it.  When I’m by myself why do I do this?  I drag my feet and half the time I end up not going.  But tonight I have to go.  Ugh.  

My inner introvert is whining about having to be social.  Bloody hell.  I’m going to need liquid courage tonight.  Wish me luck. 

Cyber with Me

Aching inside my hot need 

No one here to touch me 

Wanting more than the dingy grey 

All the colors muddy and muted, 

Palate left dry and unused.

Start the fire, bring the color

Sitting before you laid bare

Naked and exposed

My fingers fly, reality recedes

Fuzzy slippers and laundry melt away 

All that remains is your touch

We dance the timeless dance 

Locked in typing tango

Please, I beg more

Your reply certain

An ever sweeping crescendo 

Upon my aching soul

Filling my lonely heart with

Unquenchable color

Yes Please

Yes Please”On the bed, face down.” I gingerly crawled on the bed, doing my best not to lose the plug in my ass. As tight as it was going in, I had the hardest time holding onto the thing. It was lubed and as I moved my muscles worked against me, pushing the thing out at the most inopportune moments. 
I laid on my stomach waiting. Daddy sat on the bed near me. The first thing I felt was the plug being pushed inside me deeper. I moaned, feeling the pressure of it inside me.  
He caressed my ass cheeks and I knew what came next. A crop to each cheek. He was not gentle, there was not a warm up this time.  
There were crop strikes again then the plug was pushed deeper. Each round of strikes was followed by the plug being pushed again. Essentially, he was fucking me with the plug. 

 
I had no further fear of losing the plug that night. When he fucked me later, I could still feel the muscle memory of the plug…pushing in. 

A Prayer For Submission

Disturb me, my Master, when I am too well pleased with myself; when my dreams have come true because I have dreamed too little; when I have arrived safely because I have only sailed along the shore.

Disturb me, my Master, when with the abundance of the stresses I endure, I have lost my thirst for the dark passions of life.

Stir me, my Master, to dare more boldly, to venture on wider seas, where storms will show your mastery; where losing sight of land, I shall find the stars.

I beg you to push back the horizons of my hopes and to push me into the future in strength, courage, and love. 

Open my heart to the love instilled there. My Master loves me tenderly. What he owns is to be kept under lock and key or to be shared as is his wish.

The more I hold back the less I will experience. The more I share, the more I will know service. Let me ask Him, when it comes to asking for something, to help me to be willing.

Obey

Daddy and I went on a romantic weekend trip recently.  While we were in town we saw a long time friend of his.  This was the first time I had met his friend and I think it had been many years since Daddy had seen him.

Daddy had told me that they had played sexually before.  Him, his friend (also male) and their wives/girlfriends had all played sexually together. So theirs had been an intimate friendship.  I had never met this friend before but I knew of Daddy’s poly past.  This was one of the reasons we had chosen an open relationship after all. 

Daddy told me that his friend was a breast man and to dress for the occasion.  I chose a low cut dress to honor Daddy and be his arm candy.  I knew Daddy would be pleased to show me off. 

When his friend arrived we talked for a few minutes in the hotel.  Daddy made some direct comments about my body to his friend.  I can’t now remember the exact comments.  I do remember feeling embarrassed by one comment and when I looked at his friend he had the same pained look on his face that I felt on mine. What was Daddy doing? I wondered to myself. 

We left the hotel and went to dinner.  During the long drive they caught up on things with each other. While we were at the restaurant Daddy again made a lewd comment about me to his friend.  I felt rather like a piece of meat.  I tried to understand what he was doing but I didn’t know his friend and I could only sense discomfort from the man.  

Though we all talked about the lifestyle and his friend having been in the local scene in the past, there was no talk or interest from him in playing with us.  As we arrived back at our hotel, I wondered if Daddy was going to make me play with this man.  He had never ordered me to play with anyone before that I didn’t know. 

We had drinks in the hotel bar.  I felt distant from the conversation.  I was perplexed.  What do I do?  Do as Daddy commands with someone I only just met?  I felt very uncomfortable.  Aside from Daddy making off color comments, there was no chemistry here.  There was nothing at all that made me want to play.  Would I obey if commanded?

After drinks we walked back to the room and his friend took his leave.  Daddy thought my goodnight to the man was a brush off.  Honestly, I couldn’t tell you if it was.  It’s very possible because I’d had enough of the uncertainty.  When his friend made noises to leave I happily let him.

I asked Daddy afterwards what he was trying to do.  He said he liked putting people off balance on purpose.  He asked me about my reactions.  He asked if I would have taken an impromptu order to play if it had been given.  He wondered if the unexpected nature of it was more than I could handle and why was this so.

All good questions.  I’ve only been with a few men.  I’m timid by nature and only like to do things that make people happy not uncomfortable. If that friend had been all over the prospects of playing with us would my response have been different? Probably.  

Did I act like the slave I want to be?  No, I didn’t.  Daddy felt disconnected from me.  I didn’t trust the situation but I should have trusted him.  That is my place, to trust and obey.  I did not. 

Aching Need

Daddy and I have been sick for weeks.  One of those hacking coughs that precursors something worse.  We are both finally on antibiotics and healing.  

When Daddy saw his Doctor they found that even on multiple blood pressure meds his blood pressure is still dangerously high.  They put him on a couple more.  

With all this happening, we weren’t able to have sex before he left for Texas.  I bit my tongue even though I desperately wanted him.  You want to say your sex life is worth dying for but in reality I don’t want to kill the man with ecstasy. 

But damn I want him.  Two more weeks until I see him.  Every night this week I’ve masturbated after all are asleep and the house is quiet. The need is so great that every orgasm has rocked me long past my normal response.  It’s this odd shaking shudder that begins in my sex and spasms through the rest of me.  Delicious but telling.  

I ache in a very deep way for my Master, my Daddy, now my Fiancé. He brought me to life and my body responds to him like no other.  

Counting the days…

Lock, Stock and Barrel

It was the day after Thanksgiving and we were just home from shopping together for my son’s Christmas present.  Afterwards, we picked him up from our friend’s place and came home together. 

We were lying in bed because we’re both sick and doing much of anything was tiring.  It was midday.  My son had been talking with Mr. D from separate rooms, bantering as they do.  My man and my teenager both have ribault senses of humor so the verbal jousts were entertaining.  My son does his best to keep up and he loves the game. 

After a few minutes, he came in and crawled on the bed between us to snuggle up to us.  His arms were around me getting his snuggles and his back was cozied up to Mr. D.  I was so content lying there with my men. 

At one point in the conversation I could see that Daddy wanted to say something.  “I have something I want to ask you both.” My son kept talking away, oblivious. Daddy started again but got interrupted by the boy chatter again.  He then pushed my son’s face down into the covers of the bed playfully. “Hush, I’m talking now.” He said. 

My son looked up to him then and quieted down.  Daddy spoke directly to him but his eyes held mine.  “We both know I love Mom very much and I love you too. I want us to be together for always. We all know it’s just a matter of time before I marry mom.”  My son smiled at that, so did I. 

“So, Baby Girl, will you marry me?”  I looked up into his eyes trying to comprehend the question.  We’re sick in bed with the boy, Daddy is a planner by default and this feels so spontaneous.  Is he really asking me now?

“Will I marry you?  Wait…you’re really asking me?” I asked.  I needed clarification. He had recently told me he had a plan to ask me at our friends’ vow renewal in Cancun. (He doesn’t keep secrets long) This was definitely not Cancun. 

“Yes, my Love, sick and in bed with the boy, I’m asking you to marry me.” 

“Yes, I’ll marry you.  I love you so much.”  We kissed and I was so very, very happy.  Still stunned but completely happy.

Before my son could interject, Daddy said, “And do you approve? I’m asking you too because you’re part of this.  Do you want me to marry your Mom?”

“Yes! Definitely! You’ll really be my Step Dad now.” My son was beside himself with glee.  He’d been asking me forever when Mr. D would make it happen.

Afterwards, we got up and went to the jewelry store just as we were.  Sick, frumpy, no makeup or a nice dress with my hyper son in tow I followed my Master, Daddy, my Husband-to-be in to pick out a ring.  

As I sat there waiting for the sales ladies to do their thing and Daddy was on the other side of the store with my boy picking out a ring for the little guy too, my heart swelled so much it felt like it would fly away.  How perfect a day, how well he knows me.  

I wouldn’t trade this special day for any fancy production.  No need for glitzy clothes and expensive dinners.  We joined our lives in the place I love the most.  Together snuggling in bed.