Anticipation

I was shaved and had my face done up. I was naked and lying on the bed. I heard him come through the door and head upstairs. He didn’t greet the dog, he didn’t bring in his luggage. Nothing. He came up the stairs and surveyed what he had waiting for him on the bed.

I had debated having the fan on or not. I didn’t care if I was cold for myself but I didn’t want him touching me and feeling a cold body. We had had what we call cadaver sex before. I had been in an unheated pool for so long that, as we fucked, he got colder and colder. Apparently, my core temperature had come down significantly such that even sex didn’t warm up my insides.

So, none of that this time. He came in and pushed my legs apart. He wanted a taste. I had been playing with myself as commanded. I had thought of a fantasy that had been working for me lately. He makes another man fuck me while he watches. He tells me what a bad slut I’ve been and my punishment is being fucked for his pleasure by whomever he wants. Then he has a really hot girl come in and suck his cock while he watches. It twists me up in several ways. One, he’s displeased so he’s loaned me out to someone I don’t know and two, he’s getting someone else to do what I love doing for him. Regardless of the lack of reality, it gets me off.

He dove into my sex and made me squirm in the best way. I was already aching for him by then. I hadn’t seen him in a week. I was in Sula position which means legs open and palms up by my side on the bed. I wasn’t allowed to move my hands. He knows how that kills me not to touch him.

I had my collar on. I hadn’t worn it in so long it took me looking in all the drawers and rooms to find it. I was happy to have it on again. I was thrilled to have orders, to be doing as he asked.

After he about drove me mad with his mouth in between my legs he got up and said, “Hang your head off the bed slut.” Yes! I thought to myself, he was going to fuck my face. God, I love that. He pushes into my mouth and before I’ve had time to wet my lips he’s most of the way inside. He pulls out and I do whatever I can to get wetness to my bottom lip. This isn’t easy with a huge cock in my mouth by I have to do it. Otherwise, we’re liable to hurt his cock or my lips. In again he pushes and fills my mouth and throat in one full swift motion. The angle with my head hung over the bed is perfect. He can get all the way into my throat, buried to the hilt.

After gagging me several times with his cock, he pulls out and tells me to get in the middle of the bed. He mounts me and begins to fuck me. “What are you?” He asks. I try not to think and simply answer.

“I’m your slut. Your girl. Your wife.”

“Whose are you?” He asks.

“I’m yours!” I say. He thrusts hard. Pushing my legs up to my chest. He fucks me deep and hard filling me with his seed.

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Yes, yes, yes!

Daddy is home soon, very soon. He texted from the airport:

I want you in a visceral way. To devour you. I need to see the panic in your eyes as I grip your throat and slam my cock into you. To leave marks on your flesh and your soul. I have a need upon me and I want you.

Here is what you will do. You will shower and shave preparing for my inspection. You will prepare me a drink and a water and place them by the bed. You will put on make-up for Master and then don your collar. When I arrive you will be on your back in the middle of my bed in the Sula position. You will install the butt plug and play with your sex. You may NOT come. You will be ready for me.

When I arrive you will not say a word. Your hands will be placed palms up on the bed and remain there. I will do as I wish.

Master is coming home.

Holy crap! Life is good! Master is coming home, Master is here!

I’m waiting in bed, time to do as I was told. I’ll fill you in later.

Whoop! Yes!

Up All Night

I was told to write yesterday and I failed. It was a truly challenging day with my son. The past few months of the teen years have been almost more than I can handle. He has some emotional problems and I’m spending a lot of time managing his doctors and treatments and, well, it’s really hard. He had anxiety all day yesterday. It was different in that most days there is an episode or challenges but not a whole days worth of it.

Daddy and I had a great adult weekend last weekend. We had time to play. Even though his knee has been hurting him, he still set out all the toys and took care of me. He is so good to me.

I know he wants to hear my thoughts on that play. He was leaving on a plane and sent me a text stating that I must write for him. Not that I had to write something specific but that it had to be yesterday. I accepted the order. I knew he was doing it for me after all. Over the last few months, I’ve realized the submissive part of our relationship is much more something I wanted and not so much something he craved. I think it is fun for him but not necessary.

Daddy wasn’t here to see how all consuming my son was throughout the evening. I ended up falling asleep with my son tucking me in and going back to his room. He was finally calm and I was out. I completely lost focus of Daddy’s command.

In the morning, I woke to Daddy being very upset with me…disappointed, he texted. I broke. The man gives me one command in months and I failed completely. He may not need a submissive but I know he wants me to write. He drops pointed comments often enough that I know how he misses it. I felt my heart drop to my feet. I love him so much and yet I can’t do a simple thing when he asks.

I didn’t even know how to respond. You can’t make proper amends by apologizing again for a repeated bad behavior. Who cares to hear that? No one.

So, here I am writing. I spent my one night alone in the house cleaning everything I never have time to clean. I’m so tired of not getting those things done. It was cathartic. At least the place smells better.

So, one thing at a time. Today I write, tomorrow I’ll sleep.

Good Morning

I know, I have been gone a loooong time. Vanilla life has taken over. Mr. D and I are both so busy with work and I’m now homeschooling my son. It doesn’t make for a hot bed of scintillating storytelling.

He and I both miss it. We need a way back to having time for us. I know it can be done, I’m just not sure of the steps yet. I feel like using AA slogans. One day at a time. Fake it ’til you make it. Is a lagging D/s dynamic an appropriate life issue to quote AA? Doubtful.

We did have a couple sessions when we went on a weekender to say goodbye to Frenchie. I got spankings for my birthday. Mr. D made me count by 7’s to get my total spankings. I’ll let you decide what age is divisible by seven. Ha!

Mr. D has been making a case for me to carry my new floggers and my old ones, one pair he bought me and one pair he made for me. I think about practicing with them and using them on some willing victim. Yes, I’m submissive but I think with practice I could ride the middle line a bit. A little switching in my future? Yes, maybe so.

For all this, time will tell.

Moving On

My girlfriend Frenchy has left for France. She lived with us for five months. It was a great time and I’m so so happy we had the time together. She and I lived together many years ago when we were both single and in our twenties. Time flies and here we are at the end of our forties saying goodbye.

I owe Daddy a huge thank you for allowing her to stay with us. He really knew very little about my Frenchie when she moved in but he let her move in with us (to the detriment of our sex life) and I’m so very grateful. They became friends and I’m so happy they did.

My Frenchie can be a whirlwind of fun and spunk. She’s tall and thin and full of life most days. Other days she’s sad and vulnerable and needs love and hugs. Daddy was such a good thing for her in the final months of her saying goodbye to her American life.

My girl was the best roomie. I knew she would be but still she surpassed my expectations. She’s always been one to do more than her part. Aside from being my counterpart with dishes and chores she also helped us buy many things for our new home together. She took the guest’s rule of ‘leave a place better than you found it’ to the next level.

I will always cherish our time together. Much love goes with her on her travels. Hopefully, Daddy and I gave her what she needed to be strong and enjoy the next part of her journey.

Plan B

My Ex always had a Plan B. It had something to do with driving away from all his troubles to go live off the land or have a farm of his own away from the terrible land of Corporations, Big Pharma, the dreaded Government and other various and sordid demons.

This is not that. I had a job interview. Then another. Then several with many team members. It looked good. Not exactly what I wanted to do but it was in my industry and it was a lot more money. As a ‘don’t focus on me, I’m not the important thing here’ submissive I’m not great at asking for what I want. After 10+ years at my current post with only two raises in all that time, a new job with more pay sounded great.

So, I guess I’m at Plan B now. The job went to someone else. I love my current job so I’m not that dejected but I was starting to look forward to something new. Is Plan B looking for actual open positions now? Maybe. The one I just lost was rather foisted at me. I hadn’t been looking. Funny how something you didn’t want and hadn’t asked for turns into something you’re a little bummed to lose.

So, feeling a little down. Nothing major just meh.

Here and Gone

Well, Mr. D’s mom was here and just as quickly she is back home. I thought it was a nice visit. She and I got to know each other a bit. I liked her very much and I think she liked me as well.

Interestingly, his mom looks very like mine had looked. They are quite similar in facial features and build. My Dad remarked on it.

So, nothing fun or on blog topic to report. Though we did finally have sex last night. Daddy was sure I was dying of a cough but I must have convinced him sex would help clear my lungs, lol. Anyway, it was short but needed. I savored every second.

He didn’t much buy my comment that daily sex would cure me, but one can always try. Right? 😉