Do You Want a Beating?

Daddy and I were home alone on a weekend.  He was leaving on a plane the next day and the separation loomed in front of us.

I told him I wanted to get drunk and massage him.  He was amenable to the idea.  Not that I need to be drunk to give a massage.  I always love touching him.  But there is a place I can slip into with just a slight buzz.  A physical, sexual place where I can close my eyes and just feel.  It is somethig akin to subspace, a different level of consciousness. 

We had a drink and Daddy was smoking a cigar.  We were out on our patio enjoying each other.  I felt too far from him sitting in the other chair and took the cushion from mine, putting it between his knees on the concrete. I knelt before him and wrapped my arms around his belly.  My safe place.  My rightful place in this world, at his feet.

I felt so many emotions there close to him.  I felt love and heat.  I felt the fear of losing him in this move.  I felt submissive and I wanted to have his cock in my mouth.  All these desires and feelings and fear fought to overwhelm me.  Yet I looked up to him when beckoned. 

“Mine.” He said.  Claiming what is his.  

“Yes Daddy, yours.” I smiled with the heat of my love apparent.  

 “What do you want baby girl?” 

“May I suck your cock Daddy?” I needed him.

“Yes, you may but first I want you to go put in the medium plug.” I nodded and rose from my position.  I went to our bathroom and applied lube to the medium anal plug.  I knelt at the sink and inserted it slowly.  I felt it stretch me wide then it was in.

I returned to Daddy and knelt again at his feet. He pulled down his shorts as I knelt further down.  I rolled my tongue around his already growing girth. That’s what I love, what I needed.  I lost myself in the taste, the smell, the texture of him in my mouth. I pulled him all the way into the back of my throat.  I sucked him until I gagged for air then I pulled back.  I looked up at him with a mouthful of cock. We made eye contact.  I feel vulnerable, so incredibly vulnerable like that but I forced myself to look up to him, to be seen in the act of pleasing him.  

Little did I know that he had taken pictures of me right before. He showed them to me later.  I looked entranced. I really loved the pictures actually.

After a while I pulled back to catch my breath.  “Do you want to a beating baby girl?”  I nodded yes.  I desperately needed one.  “Then rise and go inside.”

He knows what I need even when I don’t. 

What now?

Today Daddy and I talked and cried together from different states. We will do our best to move forward through this difficult time.  We both know we are the one for each other.  We may be pulled in two directions right now but we are 100% committed to each other. 

I love him more than anything.  I want our beautiful life together.  I want to experience so much with him.  We fit together so well.  One of his work buddies even made a joke about it.  I’m curvy on top and bottom with a smaller waist and Daddy is straight up and down with a belly.  We fit together like puzzle pieces. We are made for each other body and soul.

Daddy returns home Friday morning.  I can’t wait to see him.  

Hold Strong

For the thousandth time in my life I wish I were stronger.  Sure, I am strong.  I can bear pain reasonably well.  Emotional pain, physical pain, yes they hurt me but I don’t make a big fuss.  

The most fuss I’ve ever made has been with Daddy as he whips me. It is such a catharsis to be allowed to voice some whimpers of expression in those moments.  I’m so used to being the stoic, but I found a way to allow myself those expressions.  Still, I don’t let go much because those whimpers eventually worm their way under Daddy’s blanket of darkness and find the protective Daddy response. 

I’ve been doing my best in our current situation to be strong.  I haven’t succeeded.  I am an adult woman and at the moment I feel every bit the baby girl.  I want Daddy to be here and hold me and make it all okay.  

I talk to our wifey, Goddess, and I’m so impressed with her.  She says, “Just pack up and move.  Go to court.  Get your child and go.” If I had half of her dominance or moxey or whatever that is, I’d be in a whole different place in life.  But here I am, timid me. 

Will I ever have the life I want?  Will I ever speak up for me? Why when I do speak up I can’t handle the backlash that comes from speaking my truth?  Is there any way to train yourself to know how to deal with manipulative, pushy, toxic people like my ex? 

Again, I have no answers just questions.  


Sorry folks, I have so much to write about but stress is not a great mistress when it comes to writing.  All I want to do right now is crawl into a deep hole with a tub of ice cream. 

Daddy is away in Texas and I can’t sleep.  I’m up all evening eating random weird things.  Last night it was a whole package of beets then later it was gluten-free toaster waffles.  It sucks to only have healthy food in the house when you want to binge on crap. 

Daddy and I are going to be living apart for a while. I have no idea how long.  We started looking at houses, lovely houses that dreams are made of.  Now Daddy has an apartment that is only his and I’m stuck here with 4 more years to parent my child, the other love of my life. 

I’m doing my damnedest to be upbeat, to work the problem like I usually would.  Find a way.  But I’m stuck.  Every direction I turn something awful will happen.  

I’ve been so emotional since Saturday.  We played, it was intense and absolutely needed, I’ll tell you about it.  After we played Daddy left for Texas the next day.  I’ve been distraught and trying to keep it together, trying to be my normal positive self.  Not easy. 

At first I thought it was a bad sub drop.  It would have been the first time that happened for me.  But I don’t think that was it.  It is just the reality of our situation settling in.

Fuck, fuck, fuck.  

Altered States

He gave me time.  We were full from breakfast.  We sat and read email, blogs, etc.  I didn’t think anything of it.  Life as usual. 

He got up to do some laundry and then he was by my side in the living room. “Strip.” He said with no emotion, no explanation.  I unzipped my jeans vest and pulled off my shorts.  I stood naked before him. “Nice.  Follow me.”

Into the bedroom we went.  There were ropes everywhere.  He had been busy while he was doing the laundry.  “Get into the center of the bed,” he said as he adjusted the ropes at the headboard.  A large O ring was centered at the top of the large wooden headboard. I recognized it as a piece of equipment that is usually used under the mattress so that you can tie a person spread eagle to a bed withiut a frame.  This was going to be different. 

I laid on the bed in the center.  I was nude and felt the air from the  fan play across my skin.  He took one of my wrists and looped black rope around it several times tying a knot below my palm.  Then he tied the other wrist in similar fashion.  Each wrist was then secured to a ring an each side of the headboard.  Now I was unable to move my hands.  When I pulled on one the other would become secured closer to the wooden frame.  Oh, they are linked behind the bed.  I thought. The more I move the tighter I’ll be pulled on one side or the other. Devious.

Then he looped more black rope around my thighs.  Each thigh had many loops of rope, then each was tied off around the loops at my inner thigh.  The rope would secure me but not pull on my skin. Finally he pulled each leg up by ropes through the O ring in the center of the headboard right above my head.   As I looked up I saw a network of ropes strung from the upper corners of the bed and from my thighs.  I was trapped with my knees at my breasts, my hands bound and my sex wide open to him. 

He stood over me and surveyed his work. He smiled with approval.  “I can smell your sex.  I think you like this.” Then he took out the implements he had hidden by the bed.  A crop, a feather duster, and other items I couldn’t see.  Oh, I was in for it.  He mounted the bed and settled himself between my legs.  He blew air on my pussy.

I felt his nose first.  He ran his nose over my sex and up around the clit.  Then his tongue flicked over my labia, caressed my sensitive skin.  My senses were already heightened from being tied and now his tongue lit me up. Soft fluttering caresses that set me on fire. I was whimpering and pulling on my bonds to get to him. 

He pulled back, I hoped to mount me, but he picked up a crop instead.  He smacked the top of my pussy with it.  I jumped with every strike.  I tried to calm myself and bear the impacts but I was slipping away from my control. The binding ropes trapped me yet set my mind to flight. 

As the stinging sensations accelerated so did my need to beg for mercy. Before I reached my limit he knelt again to lick my pussy.  I was out of my mind.  First gentle flicks of the tongue, then hard sucking, then back to gentleness.  I was moaning loudly, unable to stop myself. 

He picked up the crop again.  My sex was wide open, my thighs tied back, my toes barely touching the bed.  The sting of contact shot through my pelvis jolting me. “Daddy!”

“What baby girl? Don’t you like it?” He said with a devilish smile.  He knew I liked it. The stings were harder and deeper now.  The first round was to bring the blood to the surface. This was the main event. It seemed that crop strikes followed by the more subtle torment of licking were the order of the day.  Each round pushed me closer to climax.

His finger hovered around the entrance to my pussy.  Caressing the pouty lips on each side.  I arched forward.  Finally!  Some kind of fucking! As sexual play ramps up, I have a one track mind.  Fuck me! Put it in, fill my hole, fuck me! My pelvis pounded forward propelling towards surcease.  His finger lazily dropped down to my asshole.  No! Not there! He rubbed little circles getting it wet then he pushed it in my ass.  

“Daddy! Fuucckk….” I’m not sure if that was a request or an expletive.  Either way, he wasn’t listening. His tongue bathed my pulsating clit.  His finger kept prodding my ass.  My throbbing, aching, hungry pussy sat forgotten on the edge of the dance floor waiting with her cocktail glass dripping sweat down her dress.

“Daddy please.” Pitiful. He ignored it.  “Daddy please fuck your slut.”  His eyes rose to look at his trussed up prize then went back to his work. “Please fuck your dirty whore.” He finally took notice. 

“You want to be fucked, do you?” His voice dripped with his Cheshire smile. “Hmm.” Noncommittal though he feigned, he finally he rose.  Yes, yes, yes! 

“Yes Daddy, please!” I was gone.  I looked up to him through atmospheres of dreamy landscapes.  

“You are mine.  I own you. Do you understand?” 

“Yes Daddy. Yours.”  I was laid bare to him.  Raw and exposed. 

“You are my dirty little whore.” He was poised at my clutching hole. He thrust forward cleaving me with his meaty cock.

“Yes Daddy, god yes!” The feeling was indescribable. Shivers of pleasure covered my body.  My mind sang.  I gripped the rope that bound my wrists to the bed. I wanted to wrap myself around him but was denied.  Thrust after thrust filled my needy pussy with the cock I so desperately wanted. 

“Take it!” His face above me, his hands on me.  His intensity broke free. 

“Fuck your little slut, your whore, fuck my cunt.  Please Daddy, fuck me, fuck me.” On and on I rutted in a hypnotized frenzy.

“Take it, take my seed!” He thrust to the hilt and pumped hot come deep inside me.  I felt it spurting out between us as his cries and grunts played across the room. 

Afterwards, he untied me in sections.  I cleaned us up while still in a stupor, ropes dangling from my wrists.  I came back down sometime after that. 

Poly Play – Part Two

I’m told I’m a tease to leave Poly Play just sitting out there without wrapping up the story.  What can I say, I’m a cock tease, but I always come through with the goods. 😜

There wasn’t much left to the story but it seemed more than could be told in one telling.  I never saw it but Coupe and Lady got hot and heavy on the chaise lounge after we vacated it.  Damn, I miss all the good stuff.  I’d have paid good money to see that.  

After kissing El Jefe and coming over to Daddy to see if he approved of all I had done, I didn’t see much else.  I was still wondering how Coupe was taking all this.  Even though I’m quite timid myself sometimes, I worried about how he was taking this initial foray into Poly life.  

Daddy pointed in front of him and put a pillow down for me to kneel. He pulled his shorts down and commanded me to suck.  I was at once thankful to be given this duty and relieved that I would be occupied with something that kept me from view.  I was feeling overwhelmed by it all and suddenly shy.  I took his cock in my mouth and wrapped my arms around his legs.  My face was completely hidden by his thighs and my hair. Blessed anonymity, I love you so.

Apparently, while I was going down on Daddy, Coupe was also getting a blowjob right behind me on the chaise. I saw and heard nothing. Goddess and El Jefe were on the couch next to us basking in the glow of their experience. 

Goddess leaned over and gave Daddy a kiss.  After a while of me going down on him, he chose for me to stop.  I came up for air and joined the conversation with El Jefe and Goddess. Coupe and Lady and disappeared to their room.  Later, Lady told us she had taken Coupe to the room for a proper fucking.  

As the four of us were talking, Coupe and Lady came to the sliding glass door naked and made faces at us through the glass. Coupe pressed his naked ass to the steamy glass and what a cute, tight, young ass it was too.  I had never seen him naked before.  Seems I missed quite a lot while I was face down in Daddy’s lap. 

Daddy took me into our room and fucked me hard. His hand on my neck, his voice whispering to me that I was his.  I was his slut, his slave, his whore.  Damn that gets me twisted up in such an incredible fervor.

Later in the afternoon, I was on the couch with Lady.  I think everyone was having snacks at that point.  After all the sex and alcohol, everyone was hungry.  I had my head on Lady’s lap.  She was whispering things to me as the others talked and ate. I was still in a bit of a stupor from the day. 

“You love being watched.  You love being the center of attention.  You little tease, you love us watching you and seeing you on display. You perform for us and we want to see what you do.” As she whispered such provocative things in my ear I wondered about them.  Do I? Do I love being watched? Am I hungry for that kind of attention? I honestly didn’t know if she was reading me or talking about her desire to watch. I had only been a helper in the events of that particular day.  I was not at all the center of things.  Goddess and El Jefe were the birthday pair and we treated them thusly.  In my drunken musings as I listened to Lady’s words I wondered about what I was and what I wanted to be.  Food for thought, anyway.